Then I’d hear them — the ominous sound of church bells. Four ominous church bells rang. I felt like I stood at a cliff’s edge. The riff, that haunting riff in the rock-n-roll key of all rock-n-roll keys, the key of A. My head would start bobbing, then the cymbals, the bass drum. I’d stand close to the speakers to feel the bass drum, like a punch to the gut.

It felt like a calling. Like a deity speaking to me. I’d spread my hands and look up at the ceiling, and then it came….

I’m a rolling thunder, pouring rain

I’m coming on like a hurricane

Today, nearly thirty years later, I still have the same feeling when I hear Hells Bells by AC/DC.

My top three favorite bands:

1. AC/DC

2. AC/DC

3. AC/DC

The Lives of Brian is a cathartic and touching memoir written by AC/DC’s frontman, Brian Johnson. I love AC/DC and I love their first frontman, Bon Scott. In my opinion, arguably, Bon Scott is the greatest rock-n-roll lyricist of all time. He’s a rock-n-roll poet. And as far as a singer, Bon Scott is one of rock’s greatest phrasers (how he phrased the lyrics when he sang). He phrases emotion and wry humor into a song, unlike any other singer. I love Bon. And I loved Bon as a kid. And when I started writing for a living, I grew to appreciate and respect Bon far more. But Brian Johnson’s my man. His voice led me down many rabbit holes as a kid and directly and indirectly led me to discover various artists I love.

Needless to say, when I read his memoir, I was touched.

Brian Johnson hand-wrote the memoir. He wrote it as a letter to his great-great-great grandchildren. In part because he never knew his grandfather, since his grandfather hated him due to Brian’s mother being Italian. While it’s also a letter to his lineage, it’s also an ode to his love of music, his love of his band, and his appreciation and gratefulness for what happened to him. But he also hand-wrote it as a cathartic release.

In 2014, on AC/DC’s Rock or Bust Tour, Johnson lost his hearing. I’ll leave it to the curious to read the books to get the details. But from the outside, then, it looked like the AC/DC machine dropped him from the face of the earth. Johnson was devastated. Absolutely devastated. He fell into a state of despair. Realizing sitting around was doing nothing, he worked to find a miracle to recover his hearing (which he did with the help of a mad genius hearing doctor and a specialty device) and he hand-wrote this book. It’s touching. You see a love for his bandmates, a love for the music.

Brian grew up in near poverty in Dunston, England, right outside of Newcastle — the Geordie-land area of England. He had to start working at a young age to help put food on the table. His parents weren’t singers and had no musical bones in their bodies. Yet early on Brian loved hearing songs on the radio, and he loved singing them. It wasn’t until he joined the Sea Scouts that a scout leader noticed he had a gift. When he got invited to sing at church, he became head choirboy instantly (which got him beat up by the much older, previous choirboy, until the priest stepped in). And you could say the rest is history, but it was a complete grind.

Most musical memoirs you read of drug addiction, or the wild hedonism of say Motley Crue, or the sanctimonious virtue signal of, “I rediscovered love while on a beach in Malibu, when I met my wife, Vendela during a photo shoot. She couldn’t speak a lick of English, but behind her beauty and fame, I knew my soulmate existed.” With Brian Johnson, you get a working-class guy who joined the Paratroopers for an entire year, all so he could afford a P.A. system to sing in men’s clubs, it makes for a refreshing musical memoir.

If you’re a music fan, you’ll love the rabbit hole Johnson can lead you down. His first band, Geordie had a minor glam rock hit in the UK. That rabbit hole, however, if you’re interested, leads you down Johnson’s uncanny vocal range. A vocal talent discovered when he joined the Sea Scouts, was recognized at the Church choir, and when singing around town, often the clubs and bars would kick out the band, then someone who could play piano would sit down, and tell a young teen Johnson to sing. But you get introduced to an excellent musical soundtrack:

• Nazareth

• Boz Scaggs

• Talking Heads

• Joe Walsh

• Sting

• Robert Palmer

• The Who

And more.

I enjoyed it because it allowed me to relive the musical discovery Johnson led me down. In high school, I tried finding other voices like Brian Johnson. In my dorm room (I went to a co-ed boarding school for high school, stereotypical New England elite preppy stuff), I had a stereo system. I figured out how to jerry-rig a set of big speakers into a CD player. Luckily, for two years, my best friend at the time lived next to me. We shared similar musical tastes. We set up our rooms to listen to our music as loud as humanly possible. We had a whole system of wires, blankets for soundproofing, and we somehow managed to get into the walls. It’s an absolute miracle we didn’t electrocute ourselves. And how we snuck in wall spackle, to fix a massive hole, or remove what looked to be important studs from the wall, and not get caught or injured, another miracle. But we set this up, to listen to the music we loved for hours on end. And I listened to AC/DC for hours on end. But the influence of Brian Johnson led me to crank bands like Geordie, Nazareth (I have to imagine, I might be the only person in prep school history, past 1980, that had Nazareth and Geordie playing on the repeat for three years), Led Zeppelin, Dire Straits, Robert Palmer, and The Who for hours. Also, the amount of Country I played, and the amount of 80s hair metal, bugged my dorm mates to all ends. I didn’t care. I spent time jerry-rigging a super loud stereo system to listen to what I wanted. Most of the kids played rap or things like Limp Bizkit, The Wallflowers, Matchbox 20, or Dave Matthews. And being shy, at our dances, I would listen for a bit, and then Irish exit to head back to my dorm, to listen for hours on end, having the dorm to myself. I even missed that I got voted to what would be the Prom King of our school. It was the Valentine King, but all the girls would vote, and the boys for the Valentine Queen, it didn’t matter what year you were, it was somewhat akin to a hot or not (it got shut down after my dorm, with the student book each of us got at the beginning of the year, ranked the girls on a scale between one to ten, and we got caught — that forty-year tradition gone in an instant). Well, in my junior year, to my utter shock, I won. But when they announced, I had Irish exited to go listen to AC/DC alone.

I’m sharing some personal memories because that’s what the memoir brought up to me. And it was touching to see that Johnson while fronting the biggest and most successful rock band, remains humble, and still a massive fan of music. All of his mentions, his adoration of music, took me back to those days.

Sentiments aside, the work ethic of Brian Johnson, his un-affectedness, the pure raw talent, and his endearing sense of humor, the book inspires on some ends, but it also injects a sense of humility. It’s like reading a perspective from a fan, but that fan got a break, and that fan happened to own one of the greatest rock voices ever, and that fan happened to sing on one of the greatest rock albums ever. An album that is the number two-selling album of all time. Only Michael Jackson’s Thriller bests it.

If you’re a music fan, I suggest Johnson’s memoir. It’s fun. Johnson is a story of insane, raw untapped talent, discovered once, then dropped by a nasty music business, then discovered again. But he never gave up. He kept singing, kept working, kept his nose clean from drugs and booze, and when the break came, put everything he had into it, and still does to this day.

I had moved into a freshly built apartment complex in the Golden Triangle area of Denver. A penthouse unit. A Miami-based company designed the building. Nothing exemplified the Miami influence more than the bathroom. The designer flooded the bathroom with white marble and mirrors and a massive glass-doored shower. A beautiful bathroom I refused to appreciate. The mirror had a habit of reflecting back to me.

No self-despising.

No self-loathing.

No self-flagellating.

Rather, I felt in limbo; I felt off.

I should have been thrilled.

My copy career earned serious income. I had reached and started to climb past what I previously earned during my car business days. My salary and commission structure put me well on track for a healthy seven-figure income that year. And more money sat on the table.

The Online Marketing beast I worked with had placed a few appetizing partnership opportunities in front of me. He had pulled me into his minuscule inner circle. I had my own bedroom at his house in St. Petersburg, Florida. And I slept in it more than in my bedroom in Denver. I dined and hung out with his family often. Beyond the generous pay, he offered a generous and gracious package hoping to entice me to move to St. Petersburg. Most copywriters in online marketing would cream themselves at this opportunity.

But I refused to look at myself in the mirror.

I kept asking myself, “In another few years, is this what I want to be doing? Writing or managing scammy affiliate marketing offers or supplement offers?”

On the rare Sunday I was home in Denver, I’d amble around the city, wondering where my life was headed. I was in my second career after the car business and I began feeling like I had made a huge mistake. I felt like I was selling out my soul and integrity. I knew I was writing bullshit offers.

And working at that high a level, higher up in that Online Marketing and famous guru world, more and more dishonesty surfaced. I kept using the guru mindset tricks to try to hide these feelings. I tried telling myself that I needed to clear the toxic obstacles I had around money.

But I knew that was bullshit.

I grew up wealthy.

I loved making money.

But I continued to pacify myself in more routines, Dan Kennedy books, and paying for another event to “level up.”

But I couldn’t shake how shit I felt.

On one of those ambles, I did a normal thing, I found myself in Denver’s Tattered Cover. I did the usual. Order a coffee. Sit down. Ruminate. Get up, peruse the shelves, grab a basket, and stuff it full of books to buy. And one such time, I bought Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep. I had heard of Chandler. I remembered Stephen King, Lee Child, and John Carlton mentioning him. I grabbed it. I read it a few weeks later.

When I read The Big Sleep, the main character, Marlowe, answered a lot of the questions I was asking.

What struck me, Marlowe waded into grey areas, but he never compromised his principles; he never compromised his personal code; he never compromised his personal values.

That inspired me.

The Big Sleep is one book among a few other key factors that influenced me to change course. Marlowe influenced me to look not only at my professional purpose but my personal values. I walked away from a seven-figure income that year. I made the right choice. I released the straight jacket holding me back both personally and professionally.

Naturally, Raymond Chandler holds a special place for me. I’ve reread The Big Sleep four or five times. If you’re a longtime reader of mine, you know I love Chandler. I’m honored I turned a few readers onto him and his famed character Philip Marlowe. Chandler arguably stands as the greatest mystery writer of all time. And he arguably stands among the greatest fiction writers. I lack a perfect bridge into the next section, other than I’m excited to talk Raymond Chandler. I read Tom Hiney’s great biography on Chandler. After I finished the biography I read The Long Goodbye. And, as the kids say, it surfaced “all the feels.”

My opening here was deeply personal.

And I’m sharing more in this piece.

I wrangled with how much to share.

I redacted a lot, over five thousand words.

But I hope to inspire you to get closer to an author or figure that means a lot to you. Getting closer to an author you like adds another dimension to their works. As I’ve said elsewhere, reading is a personal conversation. I’m going to share my intimate conversation with two Chandler books here. Then, I’ll share a Raymond Chandler writing exercise. You writers won’t want to miss that.

Enough rambling, let’s dig into it.

Raymond Chandler, Tom Hiney

A fast summary, Hiney wrote a great biography of Chandler. He melded the background of Chandler and he showed the forces creating Chandler the writer. We get a good look at Chandler the man, a good look at how he created Marlowe, and a good look at Chandler creating some of the greatest screenwriting that ever came to Hollywood.

Let’s look at a quick background of Chandler.

Background

In the summer of 1938, in a small Santa Monica apartment, a sober, forty-nine-year-old Raymond Chandler wrote The Big Sleep. And that summer, he created a man needed in his life — his famed character, Philip Marlowe.

Forces and vices led to that creation.

As a young boy, after his alcoholic father vanished one day, his Irish immigrant mother moved herself and her young Raymond from Plattsmouth, Nebraska to south London, England. Chandler’s mother came from a wealthy Irish family. She emigrated, got married, and moved to the small town of Plattsmouth, Nebraska. But her husband, a complete drunk, abandoned her and Raymond. She then went back to London. Due to her previous emigration and being divorced and with a child, she was seen as a philistine back in London. But her brother took her and Raymond in, begrudgingly. And her brother paid, begrudgingly, for Raymond’s classical education. After graduating high school, Raymond worked as a freelance journalist. Bored, he went to America. At the outbreak of World War I, Chandler enlisted in the Canadian Army. He fought trench warfare, got wounded, and then began training as a pilot for the Royal Air Force. During this time, Chandler, at age twenty-seven, discovered his unfortunate appetite for alcohol. Post-war, Chandler met and fell in love with the knockout beauty, former model, Cissy. Chandler thought Cissy was only ten years older than he, but it turns out she was twenty-plus years older, almost closer to thirty. He found work as an oil executive. He made great money, in today’s dollar, nearly $44,000 a month. But booze, sleeping with his secretaries, and absenteeism got Chandler fired. The booze ruined his life. He would go on benders for weeks; never showing up at work or at home. Chandler had the fortunate or unfortunate gene — depending on how you look at it — where he never got hangovers. He found himself out of work, aimless, and his money drying up. He felt he failed Cissy and himself. He knew he needed to sober up. He began reading pulp novels to pass time. He found them authentic compared to haughty literature favored by critics. He found them closer to Shakespeare and the classics he grew up reading. He decided to try his hand at writing pulp short stories. After a few years, and making little money, he gained a reputation. And in 1938, he wrote The Big Sleep.

And the rest is history!

Not quite.

The Big Sleep flopped.

The publisher saw the talent, but despite the best marketing efforts, couldn’t get it to sell. Marlowe gained an early cult following, but never early mainstream success. Yet he refused to sell out and kept chipping away at it. And he made a pittance, barely enough to cover rent and buy groceries.

Cult fan, Hollywood producer and screenwriter, Billy Wilder loved a line from Chandler’s third novel, The High Window, “Out of his ears grew hair long enough to catch a moth.”

From that line, the rest is history, somewhat.

That line got Chandler noticed and hired by Hollywood.

Chandler turned out to be one of Hollywood’s top screenwriters. He earned an Oscar nod and was sought after to fix bad scripts. And right around this time, his books, finally, started taking off in sales.

A happy ending, right?

No.

While working in Hollywood, Chandler started drinking again. At first, all seemed ok. He could keep it somewhat under control. But soon the rails came off. Hollywood could get Chandler to work sober if they kowtowed to his demands. But booze and Chandler’s disgust at Hollywood and its people made Chandler leave.

His book sales at that point were cranking. Yet the tumultuous relationship with booze strangled Chandler. He would go back and forth between sober for a while, and then drunk for months on end. When his wife’s health began deteriorating, he worked on The Long Goodbye. It was the last Marlowe novel he wrote sober, and the most bittersweet, intimate, and sentimental Marlowe novel. After Cissy died, Chandler became a drunken child. He wrote one more Marlowe novel, Playback. He wrote it while completely shitfaced. And during this period, he lived between London, England, and La Jolla, California, and drank 24/7. He proposed to a few women to replace Cissy. He proposed to Helga Greene, a Guinness family heiress. Her father adamantly rejected Chandler’s proposal. Dejected, Chandler flew home to La Jolla, holed himself up in his house for a week, and drank himself to death.

My Idealizations of Chandler Got Destroyed — A Good Thing

When you learn a lot about someone you admire, they rarely hold up to idealized expectations. A well-written biography shows all sides of a person. You see the human side. You respect why you admire them and their gifts. But to balance those gifts, you learn of their weaknesses. A good thing.

I somewhat expected Chandler to be a wry writer with a pipe. A wry, has it together writer. Not the Jack Kerouac degenerate; not the J.D. Salinger drink your urine; not the Steven Pressfield writing melodramatic bromides on writing; not the Ernest Hemingway emo drunk. I was off the mark on Chandler.

Chandler was two men.

Sober Chandler. Drunk Chandler.

Drunk Chandler was a child. An absolute child. An impish, needy, six-year-old child. Sober Chandler proved a driven, creative, and sharp man. He owned the ability to go sober not for a week or a month, but for a few years on end.

During those sober periods, he poured out his best work. During these periods, each day he wrote for four hours, read for four hours, and thought about writing for six hours.

Unlike the romantic notion that artists are tortured and need substances to create, Chandler did his best while sober. He did little while drunk.

It’s easy to play armchair psychologist and claim Chandler was tortured, hence his boozing. Hiney claims this through a popular 1990s psychoanalytic lens (Hiney’s book was published in 1997). Hiney mentions that Chandler’s absent, alcoholic father tortured Chandler’s soul. I’m hesitant to agree or disagree with Hiney.

I’ll unpack why I’m unsure.

One, Chandler was a constant letter writer. He even corresponded with fans regularly. Some letters share intimate details. Yet Chandler’s father is rarely, if ever, mentioned. Also, in most of Chandler’s stories, which as I found out are extremely personal at times, we don’t find much battling with father figures. Not clear evidence of anything, rather, something I noticed.

Two, Hiney poses that perhaps Chandler suffered from depression. This could be true. Chandler made repeated suicide attempts. Albeit, they were peculiar. They were melodramatic and rather laborious in their drama. He’d call the police and say he was going to kill himself and they needed to come to the house to stop him. Then he’d tell Cissy to call the police with the same message. Then he’d call his friends to call the police with the same message. So a big crowd would show up, and often Chandler was found in his office, drunk and acting a like child or passed out. In short, he caused quite a stir during a suicide attempt. That’s not to marginalize depression in any way. But the melodramatic flair deserves a deeper look. We are unable to get that look. It’s left up to question and conjecture. And he only did these attempts while drinking heavily. And generally during a break or a lull in his work.

Three, it’s possible Chandler suffered from Post-traumatic stress syndrome. This is more my theory. But Chandler fought trench warfare in World War I. He was wounded and suffered a severe concussion that knocked him out for several days. All Marlowe stories have blackout themes. Marlowe gets knocked out or injected with drugs, or someone lives so far drunk that they are blacked out from reality. And Chandler didn’t start drinking until he was training to be a fighter pilot, after his trench warfare wounds, at the age of twenty-seven. I wonder, with the brutalities he saw in trench warfare, getting wounded, and also getting a concussion that lasted a few days, perhaps that had something to do with his drinking and eccentricities under the influence.

In the end, it’s impossible to say outside of guesswork. Chandler owned the ability to drink moderately, maybe one or two a week. But at other times, he lost all control. And in his final years, he drowned himself in booze.

Learning about who Chandler was, and the two different men he lived as, drunk/sober, pulled me closer to Chandler. Maybe it’s sympathy. Maybe it’s knowing more. But as I say, reading is a personal conversation. And finding out about drunk Chandler added that dimension. And I believe, when the idealizations get blown to bits, like some of mine, it’s a good thing. You respect the otherworldly gifts, talents, or what made the person a near sage, but you also see how the person was human. You can learn from their foibles, blind spots, shortcomings, failures, and insecurities. That pulls you closer to that writer.

The Big Sleep is important to me.

When I read it, I had no idea that it would inspire me to leave the shady things I was doing. I had no idea that it would inspire me to look into my values, principles, and worldview. That unapologetic self Marlowe owned and oozed, I wanted some of that. And I knew I had to change course.

This biography added more personal thanks and respect to Chandler and The Big Sleep. And as I said, it added another dimension to Chandler’s work.

The next section, it’s going to be personal again. I hope to show how a good biography of someone you admire adds a dimension to their work.

I’m going to cover The Long Goodbye. I’m going to share my intimate conversation with the book and what surfaced for me. I’m not entirely sure if there is a point, other than I hope to inspire you to get closer to figures you admire.

The Long Goodbye, Raymond Chandler

As mentioned, Chandler wrote The Long Goodbye while his wife Cissy perished slowly. The book took a few years. Between Hollywood wanting him back, drinking and not drinking, and Cissy’s failing health, the book took time.

The Long Goodbye reads far more psychological than the previous Marlowe stories. It starts with an act of compassion from Marlowe, from there it takes all types of turns. Chandler immersed himself into this story with Marlowe. Fascinating, since Chandler hated authors that put themselves into their stories. He called them pretentious. But how he immersed himself in this story — bittersweet and brilliant. Most readers would remain unaware that it’s Chandler immersing himself in the story. And it’s the character you least expect. And it’s not apparent until the final scene.

Let’s get personal.

In the previous novel, The Little Sister Chandler bared Marlowe’s soul right on Hollywood and Vine.

And The Little Sister, in many ways, was Chandler’s Hollywood is one fucked up place ode. After a successful period of screenwriting, and being the go-to person to fix a bad script, Chandler was exhausted and shocked with Hollywood.

So it’s not surprising that in The Long Goodbye Chandler has moved Marlowe’s residence. While Marlowe still maintains his same office in the heart of Hollywood, Chandler gives Marlowe a rental home in the hills of Laurel Canyon. The new location gives the reader a different feel of Marlowe. And Marlowe feels displaced. At times, in his newly rented abode, he looks down at the lights of L.A. and it’s sentimental.

I sensed a tugging tension in the atmosphere.

Atmosphere is Chandler’s signature. Atmosphere meaning the physical setting or environment of a scene. Chandler focused on atmosphere versus standard narrative arcs, like the hero’s journey. And Chandler owned a gifted and uncanny ability to breathe vivid, palpable life into atmosphere. Each scene feels real. Many readers of Chandler, and those who have heard of Chandler, recognize his memorable similes. But it’s how he worded a small detail — the stitching on a chair, the smell of a certain flower on a humid L.A. morning, the coloring of a jacket button — to root a scene that made Chandler, Chandler. But in The Long Goodbye, he injects sentimental into atmosphere; it feels bittersweet. And this novel, I felt that tugging, sentimental tension.

Here’s my example of me experiencing that dimension.

Right after Christmas 2021, I went to Hollywood. I stayed for a week in the Equitable Building (it’s the building in that picture above). It sits on the famous corner of Hollywood and Vine, and it’s a block and a half from The Cahuenga Building, the home of Philip Marlowe.

I reveled staying in a building that Chandler himself possibly visited to discuss Hollywood deals.

But it was Marlowe that stood out the most to me, he felt palpable. I stayed in a building that Marlowe would walk by often, maybe even visit for some reason. When I walked the streets around that area, I could see the vapor trails of Marlowe. The sidewalks he ambled down. The buildings that once housed delis he patronized. Even with all the modern renovations, chain stores, chain restaurants, and an ungodly amount of tourists, I could still envision Marlowe’s atmosphere. Marlowe felt real.

And, to add to the Hollywood Noire vibe, The Pantages Theatre’s blue lights glowed into the bedroom where I slept.

And from the other window in the bedroom, a palm tree sat outside the window (the Hollywood and Vine picture, the tallest palm tree to the right), and it added an old Hollywood golden era vibe for me. Across the street, stood another Marlowe-era building.

As I slept, the shades were open (the floor with the gothic-looking balcony). That perfect location felt like the kind of nights, nightly glow and all, Marlowe rested his head, just a block and a half away. And it poured rain for most of my trip, perfection. But the rain slapping the old glass windows, I was in Marlowe heaven. I’d look out the windows and think, right now, Marlowe is sitting in his office, drinking whiskey, playing chess solo, a half-eaten BLT sandwich on his desk, passing time.

Even when I went to the Petersen Automotive Museum, I gravitated towards the cars from the late 1930s, the same cars Marlowe would have driven. Normally, you can’t pull me away from the American Muscle Cars, but this time, being in Marlowe’s hood, I kept looking at the cars from the 1930s.

I tried to visit places that existed during Marlowe’s era. But the extreme Covid restrictions L.A. enforced made that almost impossible. Still, I got to meander the streets of Marlowe and rest my head under the glow he rested his head in.

It added another dimension of enjoyment and another dimension to the brilliance that was Chandler.

And as I read the biography, in early May of this year, my memories of that trip surfaced. In particular, the locations — aka the atmosphere of Marlowe. Right after I read the biography, I read The Long Goodbye. And I got sentimental. I’d sit on my balcony, look out, and could see and feel Marlowe’s hood. I could see that light blue glow in that bedroom; the hustle and bustle of the street below, thinking, Marlowe is walking those streets right now. I remembered standing on the corning, looking at the Cahuenga Building, and envisioning Marlowe being a smart-ass to someone in his office.

But the biography detailed the forces behind The Long Goodbye and why that novel vibes bittersweet and sentimental.

I’ll work to do this without any spoilers.

In the final scene of The Long Goodbye, we find Marlowe in his office. Back in his original home. He feels less displaced. As if he’s back where he needs to be, but not quite yet. A man is in his office (being vague to not spoil anything). But that man is not a character, it’s Chandler. When it hit me it was Chandler, I got that choked-up in the chest feeling. And the atmosphere, and having visited Marlowe’s home, the scene felt palpable. I felt like I stood outside Marlowe’s door, eavesdropping, and witnessing the long goodbye.

Marlowe became a real person to Chandler. Naturally, no one is closer to Marlowe than Chandler. But in the final scene, we see how real Marlowe is to Chandler. We see what Marlowe was to Chandler.

Chandler faced scary questions as he wrote The Long Goodbye. Despite cheating on Cissy multiple times, then drinking himself impotent later, he adored and loved Cissy. They shared a special emotional and logical bond. But Chandler knew she was going to pass. He was scared of being alone. He committed to, or at least in his mind, making The Long Goodbye the final Marlowe novel.

Marlowe resembled many things for Chandler. Marlowe is principled, unapologetic, forthright, masculine, and sensitive. Sensitive in the sense of what some would call introversion: he has a complex inner life, is perceptive, is observant, is choosy about who he spends time with, and at times a bit too much in his head. All that makes Marlowe quite the masculine figure. And Marlowe upheld himself to his standards. Despite Chandler creating Marlowe, Marlowe is the figure Chandler admired and at times a figure he wrestled with. Chandler wrestled with Marlowe because Marlowe had personal determination and character to guide him away from his vices. He could get tempted, but he had the wherewithal to move past the temptation. Chandler didn’t. And it made Chandler feel guilty.

In The Long Goodbye’s final scene, the relationship between Marlowe and Chandler plays out. Marlowe comes to a realization — he can’t help Chandler. He tried, but he knows he can’t. Marlowe can’t save Cissy. Marlowe can’t save Chandler from his vices. Chandler needs to want to help himself, and Marlowe can’t make him do that. No one can. We feel in the scene that Marlowe has had enough with Chandler. He feels compassion and empathy for Chandler, but like in real life, at some point, there is only so much one can do if the other refuses to help themselves. And at that point, you need to move on. Marlowe moves on from Chandler. The scene vibes of telling someone “I can’t do this, I’m going on with my life.” It’s like a relationship you can’t believe is ending but you know it needs to end. The two people love each other, value each other, and work well together. But the other person’s vices tear at the fabric of the relationship. And it might not be anything drastic, but they’re there, working their way like paper cuts.

When the last word is said, it’s bittersweet. We hear the footsteps of Chandler leaving. He goes down the hall, and out. Marlowe ruminates, but Marlowe is back home, and back to being Marlowe. He looks out his window, and time passes.

It’s a distinct ending. Chandler eschewed a lot of standard fiction guidelines. And, usually, at the end of a series with a famous character that the author created, it’s the author saying goodbye to the character they created, not the character saying goodbye to the author. But The Long Goodbye it’s Marlowe saying goodbye to Chandler. Marlowe isn’t killed off. He isn’t retired to Palm Springs. He’s back at his home, passing time, seeing what comes his way.

When I finished the story, I thought of Marlowe, wrangling over to have a drink, deciding against it, and then looking out his office window. I thought of the glow of that street, and Marlowe sitting in his office ruminating on his friend, Chandler.

One more novel exists after The Long Goodbye, Playback. Chandler wrote it while drunk and on a whim. I’ve yet to read it. From what I gather it’s rather comedic and absurdist. Chronologically, the story occurs after The Long Goodbye. But in his final days, in the rare moment Chandler was sober, he considered The Long Goodbye the last Marlowe novel.

Regardless, I can’t wait to read Playback.

What Made Chandler Great & His Exercise

This section will be for the writers in my audience. But if you’re curious about what made Chandler tick writer-wise, then read every word. Ok, you don’t have to read every word, but check out this section at your leisure.

Get Hip To The Classics

Phillip Marlowe is Chandler’s famed creation. Hiney’s biography points to the forces that created Marlowe. And I’ll hazard a few opinions of how I believe Chandler created Marlowe. I see some worn paths Chandler took.

Chandler received a classical education. He excelled at it. He loved it. And later in life, he hailed the classics. A classical education is rarely taught these days (the Barney Initiative done through Hillsdale College is one of the few programs running a classical education). In sum, Chandler at an early age was on a Classic Western Civilization curriculum. He was reading Greek mythology, classic literature, and Greek philosophy. He developed a lifelong love for the classics and a deep love for Shakespeare.

Why does this matter?

Chandler said the classics taught him what not to do. And by this, Chandler meant eschewing fads, popular arcs, or pandering to his audience.

Chandler wanted to give Marlowe a backbone, yet make him a real person. The classics, from works like Aristotle to literature like Dostoyevski, detail the nuance and color of life. We get weak people, strong people, and those rare people that stand out to us. In our lives, we come across people that to us leave an impression. I don’t mean an impression like they are famous or insanely good-looking. Rather, it’s something about their character, their presence, their essence, that we find interesting. Chandler was able to capture and create an impression of Marlowe. Marlowe’s masculinity, demeanor, humor, morals, sensitivity, and insecurities make him so real. That reality comes from Chandler’s grasp and love of the classics. While Marlowe isn’t consoling Aristotle on a case, Chandler gave Marlowe an inherent and habituated sense of duty. A theme we find in classic works.

Consider Marlowe’s love life and interests. In most detective novels, a woman throws themselves at the lead male. The lead male acts bashful about his attraction. The lead female also acts bashful. So it starts with ships passing each other at night type scenario — the scenario making the reader hope for the big hookup. After some back and forth, they have a love scene. Fun at times, but cliched and typical.

Marlowe, on the other hand, rejects most women. He’s sensitive, in the manner I mentioned, so Marlowe demands a deeper intimacy. But he’s outright direct in his interests but he holds off on various women. With the reactions he gets from his directness and sensitivity, we find the character and make-up of the woman he’s talking to. Most stories today, the characters will get a background tidbit explaining why the character acts in a certain way. Whereas Chandler shows this via character reactions, male or female.

(A side note, this is one example of why I believe all men should read Chandler. )

For you writers and copywriters, the classics pack manifold insight. Classics offer rich psychological insights, a deep grasp of human nature, and provide color into how you see the world. Most people view the classics as something of intellectuals quoting intellectuals to sound smart. And yes, intellectuals and academics tend to sound snobby. But to cast off classics for that reason, that’s pigheaded. Classics provide rich insight into the world. Advertising greats like David Ogilvy knew and loved the classics. Now, not every great marketer knows Sophocles or Aristotle. I’m not saying that. But the classics have a way of turning on the lightbulb to see human life and the world we live in.

So, read some classics.

Get hip to them.

They aren’t haughty things for the intellects. Most intellects split hairs on the classics with navel-gazing topics. You don’t need to read all of them. But here or there, grab a readable one, like Aristotle’s Ethics and read it.

Another easy way to read classics without feeling intimidated is either swim upstream or go down a rabbit hole. To swim upstream take a writer you like, fiction or non-fiction, and then go upstream; see who influenced them, and read that author. Then go upstream again. A cool thing about this, once you see who influences a writer you love, you can’t unsee the influence. Plus it helps make that Classic work more approachable, as you’ll see touches of your favorite author. Rabbit holes work much the same way. Find a source or quote the author mentions often, or look at an interview where the author name drops some favorites, and go ahead and read those favorites. Or, if you’re looking into ideologies or philosophies, find the leading thinkers in those areas. And then find an approachable and accessible work, start from there.

Chandler Routine

Chandler had a routine to become the Raymond Chandler.

Each day, Chandler aimed for four hours of writing, four hours of reading, and thinking about writing for six hours.

First, the writing.

Chandler liked to start his days with writing.

And it wasn’t always sitting down at his typewriter and tapping away for four hours.

Chandler said some days the four hours comprised a walk. He would chew over in his head a story, or a scene to re-work. Other times, it was four hours of laying on the floor playing with his cat. And as he played with his cat, he was writing in his head. You could call this allowing for serendipity. A common piece of wisdom says good ideas come in the shower. That’s true. But it’s not the only place. Chandler, I’m guessing, while he played with his cats, it was like those “ideas” in the shower. He perhaps chewed over a sentence, a paragraph, or some other aspect both consciously and unconsciously as he rolled around with his cat.

This looks like procrastination.

It isn’t.

Chandler is intentional.

But I bet, though I could be wrong, he knew at times ideas or writing in his head could not be forced. Other times, he could force or exert pressure on an idea for something to come out. The intentional comes from Chandler blocking off time. He worked for a chunk of time, his chunk of time. He knew when he would be at his best. At times he was typing furiously, sometimes editing, and sometimes chewing over in his head a sentence.

In short, in these four hours, Chandler made it his own. He knew what he had to do, but he allowed for what he needed to create, versus forcing himself to a different writing routine — like writing one thousand words a day.

The lesson to walk away with: make your block of time for writing your own. Find a block of time that works best for you, and devote it to writing. And know, to you, that might be four hours of typing, or it might be a walk. But in that time, in some manner mentally, spiritually, or physically, you are intentionally writing.

Now reading.

Good writers are exhaustive readers. Chandler inhaled books. He mainly read detective novels. Late in life, he loved James Bond novels. He read classics, but he loved reading mysteries. No matter, he read a lot, and he engaged with what he read.

I get asked often how is it I read so many books. I don’t try to read fast. I’m working on slowing it down as of this writing. But the key is that I work to block time off for my reading. If you’re a writer in any capacity, especially a professional writer, block time off to read.

I aim for four hours each day. I know I may not get it. But I work towards that. If I only get a half-hour in due to a bunch of things coming up, I feel mentally off. I notice that blocking off time helps. I also notice if something pulls me away from writing — as of this writing I’m dealing with the IRS — that makes me feel in limbo. When this happens, I double down on the reading. Why? I feel like it keeps my writing sharp, and also it gives me a breather from the task displacing my writing routine.

I’m unsure if Chandler sat down and read for four hours straight. After he finished his writing block, he ate lunch. After lunch, he perhaps read for an hour or two. He also liked walks. So he may have broken it up. Either way, he aimed for four hours.

Four hours may seem like a big chunk if you’ve never done it. It takes work. So if that’s daunting, aim for fifteen minutes, undisturbed. Silence your phone, put it in another room, take your Kindle or physical book, and sit and read for fifteen minutes. Then see if you can increase that time.

If you’re a writer, make time for reading. This is imperative. In time, it becomes a routine. Or, if you’re trying to make time to read, dabble with a routine. It could be anything, a change of clothes, making tea, whatever. Anything that can help prompt you to get into your block of reading. My cat, Halbert (named after the Gary Halbert), is so aware of my routine, that if I’m caught up in something, he will start meowing or even going so far as to knock books off of a bookshelf. He does this until I sit down to read. He likes to sit on my lap if I read inside, or if I read on my balcony outside, he likes to lay against the screen as I lean back in my chair.

Find a reading routine that works for you. I notice in time that once you get it, you aren’t as distracted during it. You aren’t worried about the phone or your tweets or some other aspect. Also, another idea, bring a book with you on your errands. If you’re heading to the dentist, and know your dentist often runs behind, bring your book with you. You can steal a few sips of reading if a delay pops up.

Now let’s look at, thinking about writing for six hours.

Chandler didn’t wake up and make the thinking categorical. He didn’t say, “ok, my reading time is done, now it’s time for me to light my pipe, sit in this chair, and think about writing for six hours.” Chandler ruminated, he went on walks, and he observed people. And he thought a lot about how to use his observations in his writing. Also, he thought a lot about sentence structure, he was obsessed with little details on people and environments, and he was seemingly obsessed with grammar.

I bet Chandler’s thinking about writing wasn’t necessarily him chewing over his sentences. It could have been, but I’m gathering it was a blend of things. He was a grammar snoot, so perhaps he was thinking about grammar. He may have been thinking about what he read, and comparing it to himself or another author. I bet his thinking about writing combined various elements.

The Raymond Chandler Pastiche Exercise

When Raymond Chandler decided to be a pulp fiction writer he didn’t blindly follow his passion. He wanted to be great. He knew, despite being financially cramped, he had to put in the work. He went about it three ways.

First, he enrolled himself in basic writing courses. Some were menial grammar courses where he wanted to polish his old skills. The others were fiction workshops. He saw them as a means to shake off the rust. He aced both classes by the way.

Second, he began submitting stories. He didn’t wait around. He knew what he first wrote was going to be terrible to the professional publishers. But he wanted to learn.

Third, he underwent a writing exercise for a few years.

Let’s lay that out.

As I said, Chandler wanted to be great. He also wanted to master the detective novel. So he did two things. He read — inhaled, more like it — best-selling pulp fiction. And he continued to read authors he admired outside of the mystery niche: Hemingway, Shakespeare, and so on.

Then, he’d pick a story, let’s say a top-selling pulp story, and he’d attempt to recreate the story.

He’d read the story. Then, at some point, he’d sit down at his typewriter, and he’d write that story, start to finish. He’d try to recreate it from memory.

I assume he picked varying lengths, short stories to long stories. But no matter, he’d attempt to recreate the entire thing in full.

Once he finished his version, he’d reread the original.

As he reread he looked for two things. One, he wanted to see where he was structurally weak; what parts did he not get right, where did he lose the narrative, etc. Two, he looked for the hidden effects unknown to the reader but known to the writer; this would be what made the story great, the writing, the prose style, or other elements.

This is a fantastic exercise.

You can use it for sales copy, article writing, or fiction. It works like the Benjamin Franklin exercise. In that exercise you read the story, then write bullet points as hints. Then try to recreate it. Here, you forego the bullet points and attempt to recreate the story from scratch.

Fantastic.

And the simple aspect of focusing on structure and then the elements unknown to the reader but known to the writer — a great skill to develop.

Another variation of this exercise that Chandler underwent, he wrote parodies of his favorite writers. He would write a short story attempting to imitate their style. Chandler would make up the story, and write it as one of his favorite authors.

You can do this with copy or any style of writing. And try it in different areas. Say, Hemingway writing a Direct Mail piece. Or maybe Raymond Chandler writing a blog post for NetiPots.

These exercises allow you to steal your favorite writer’s methods, and imprint them in your style, but also deepens your creativity.

This is a fast way to become good. And it’s a common method for many writers. If you’re a new writer, try Chandler’s exercise. And keep in mind that he did this exercise often for around five years. Keep working on exercises, writing as often as you can, and do the creative exercises.

And if you’re trying to get paid as a writer, as Chandler did, do what Chandler did: dissect and imitate the best-sellers. You can hate them. But knowing why they work and how to write in that style helps. So if you’re writing copy, find the best sellers in your field and do this exercise. Read them a ton. Chandler inhaled the best-sellers in his niche.

And brush up on basic writing skills. Chandler didn’t want to be a hack or get sudden success, he wanted to be great. He held himself to a high standard. And his command of prose made Chandler, Chandler.

Short Goodbye

I hope you enjoyed this email. I debated how much to put in. I redacted five thousand words. It got too personal in spots. Maybe in the future I’ll feel comfortable sharing the things I cut out. An extended directors cut perhaps.

But I hope this piece inspires you to deepen your conversations with the authors you like. Doing so adds another dimension to what you read and a whole lot of enjoyment.

Till next time,

Jim

P.S. This postscript was not in the email. Sometimes I pick a theme song for a piece. My pick for this piece, and it took on a whole new dimension after writing this piece – Hollywood Nights, by Bob Seger.

Recommended reading lists are alluring, for sensible reasons. The idea is, someone or a group of people we like curated books and created a list, and in the mind of many readers, the curated list conjures a result. That result looks like, but is not limited to, expert knowledge on a topic, faster self-development, or making more money. But recommended reading lists have gotten out of hand. The lists have turned into a rite of passage for a large group of people: the people who want to have read. People who want to have read versus people who want to read, love recommended lists. The lists serve as a Hustle Signal, they serve as a way to tell others by reading this set list of books, the person is a real go-getter in life, and that this person is “doing the work” and fits in with the Hustle crowd. In other words, a guru mentions Atomic Habits, and the trained seals start barking in approval (and the trained seals miss that the books listed on these lists share mutual theses and premises — aka, they say the same shit). And the have read trained seals and their seal trainers are the loudest in the room. The message of “read these books” is pervasive. And unfortunately, it misleads curious readers to supplant curiosity and agency, and only read within the confines of the “approved list.” But not all lists are bad.

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A rare few lists are great, they stand out among the keyword algorithms and clickbait trying to drive us to the same Airport best-sellers we’ve seen umpteen times. And our curiosity leads us to those solid lists. We find a thinker we like and see what influenced him or her. We can find a topic that interests us and find some recommended books to introduce us to the basics of that topic. And a list like The Great Books earns its esteemed reputation and legacy for a reason (most people would do well to read any one of the Great Books; you don’t need to read all of them, but life is a lot more colorful reading a few of them). But if we stumble onto a list we like, instead of confining ourselves to that list, if our curiosity gets sparked by a certain writer, see where that goes. See who influenced that author, or see who debated that author. And then see where that goes.

And, naturally, you trust certain reading recommendations. Certain figures or sources you trust and respect. They mention great books to read, and sometimes those mentions, you don’t read a particular book, but it leads you to find books on a topic perking your interest. And these sources can help create reading lists or update reading lists. For instance, I bought a new bookshelf a few months ago, and I bought it with a specific reason in mind. That reason, The Great Books. I’m arranging the books in the order of The Great Books, plus I have a section of Conservative thinkers and some new fiction sections. But that Great Books section is the main reason for the shelf. If you know me, I revere Mortimer Adler. He’s the godfather of The Great Books. And in the back of his famed, How To Read a Book, he lists the Great Books. As I said, and will say again (and again), anyone would do well to read a few of the books on it. And as I said, we don’t need to adhere to the confines of a list. Over time I have, through various sources and curiosity, shaped my own Great Books list. Here’s what I mean, Adler leaves out Edmund Burke on his list. I disagree with that absence (these disagreements do not happen willy nilly, to get on that shelf, the book or thinker still needs to have had cultural impact, I don’t just pick some obscure person only fifty people read, yet I think is great and think should be on the list, I respect the parameters Adler posited and the tradition of his list). So I have Edmund Burke on the shelf. The sources of recommendations I respect, my time with certain Great Books I like, and my own curiosity inspired me to put my input into The Great Books list and make it my own. Reading is a personal and intimate conversation. Your lists will resemble that intimacy, as they should. The sources you like and trust on recommendations, in a way, it’s also intimate. Like your circle of friends, you will have closer circles you trust.

In sum, distrust this nonsense:

Dickie is in a race to the bottom, we can let him win.

Since you’re not in a race to the bottom, let your curiosity guide you, see where it guides you. Find the sources you trust, see what you like, but let your curiosity and experience shape your reading lists or rabbit holes. Your lists will shape and change, and that shaping and that changing offers its own personal and professional benefits. Plus, instead of have read you’ll enter into a deeper conversation with each book you read. With some deliberation, you’ll see how certain books converse with each other, and you’ll soon enter into that conversation on your own terms.

Ok, enough rambling, let’s get into the haul.

Haul

Seeing how I’m catching up on some hauls, I’m going to do this haul and the next two following hauls a bit differently. I’ll cover briefly what I’ve read and then go back to the standard of why I bought what I bought.

Read

Raymond Chandler, Tom Hiney

This book played a hand in why I’m overdue and behind on the book hauls. It played a hand in the most personal article I’ve ever written. You can see that all HERE.

The Right, Matthew Continetti

I read this book at the right time. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, for the last two years, I’ve been down a Conservative political rabbit hole, down a rabbit hole of the ideas, thinkers, moments, leaders, ideologies, and philosophies shaping and influencing American Conservatism. This book encapsulates it all.

I would say it’s geared toward a Conservative audience. But it certainly offers a lot to anyone of any political belief system.

If you’re not a Conservative, the names Continetti drops will come at you a million miles an hour and might overwhelm you.

If you’re a Conservative in passing or you’re unsure where you stand politically, as in you haven’t looked deep into political beliefs, here you’ll find both a guidebook on who or what shapes or has shaped what you align with. Again, the names will come fast, but it will give an excellent guideline to some figures and philosophies to check out.

If you have knowledge of Conservatism this book lays out a detailed structure of Classical Liberalism in the last one hundred years. You won’t find exhaustive details on Edmund Burke, yet you will see how Burke’s framework has taken shape since Warren Harding’s presidency. And I enjoyed how Continetti details the conflicts, the gripes, and the debate of the future vision of Conservatism.

Books like The Right, a book unpacking a particular ideology or philosophy, and showing the landscape of that ideology or philosophy, provide wonderful insight into your likes, curiosities, worldview, and beliefs. And I like it when the work isn’t a deification piece of “we can do no wrong! we see the light.” I find that “empowering our message” is blindly self-serving, moralizing, and sanctimonious. Those sorts of pet project works do little to move any needle. An even-handed approach, like the one Continetti deploys, paints a much clearer and more honest picture.

The book will appeal more to a Conservative person, but no matter your politics, you’ll find an exhaustive history of political thought that’s both clear and detailed, and offers a deeper understanding of Conservative ideology, or if you want to be nit-picky, Classical Liberalism.

The Conservatarian Manifesto, Charles W. Cooke

Charles Cooke is one of my favorite writers and he’s one of my favorite thinkers. For any of you that are fans of my writing style, one, thank you, and two, Cooke’s writing inspires me. I study his writing. Nothing too intense, but I read many of his passages aloud, and I look to see what style tricks he’s using.

And as a thinker, I find him principled and pragmatic. Also, to keep crushing, if you listen to him on a podcast, his speaking style is incredible. One thing I notice with popular personalities, many are rich in convictions and poor in principles. Principles, here, don’t mean behaviors or opinions. Principles, here, means that a person is principled in their beliefs. They speak or write from a place of depth, from a place of experience, wisdom, and study. And when Charles speaks, writes, or tweets (his wry sense of humor is fun to observe on Twitter) you can see those principles.

Naturally, I was excited to read his book. I was excited to study his sentences, and I was excited to read a “manifesto” of a political thinker that I find myself aligning with often.

The book shocked me.

The shock wasn’t a personal rattle, rather it was who the book didn’t feature. Cooke wrote the book right before the 2016 election. Some Conservative circles call this period — the rise of Donald Trump. Trump, in fact, gets no mention in the book, either he wasn’t on the radar yet when Cooke wrote it, or Cooke, like many at first, didn’t see Trump as serious. So seeing the political landscape before Trump — before both sides of the political spectrum took Trump seriously; Cooke was and still is a critic of Trump — was a trip. A trip because, for both sides or all sides, politically, Trump exists in the conversation. And for conservatives, Trump takes up a lot of real estate, whether he’s liked or not. And it’s been this way since 2016. So reading a conservative manifesto without a single mention of Trump, well, it felt like when you have the hiccups and then you notice the hiccups are gone. That odd feeling like, “where are the hiccups?” but none are there.

Regardless the missing Donald, and whether you love the Donald or hate the Donald, Cooke lays out a solid Classical Liberal tract. He offers pragmatic ideas and concepts conservatives today would do well to consider.

As for the writing, Cooke is a writer to study. He marshals clear arguments. He writes with charisma, style, and precision. I enjoyed the book. For you non-political types, but lovers of good writing, it’s worth the read. For you political types of any belief, conservative or liberal, I believe you’d enjoy this book. And for you fans of reading and not really concerned on politics, Cooke is just a lot of fun to read.

The Art of X-Ray Reading, Roy Peter Clarke

I threw it in the trash. Literally.

I tried to like it. Roy Peter Clarke has some decent books on writing. He’s worth checking out. But this book, well, it’s sitting in a trash heap somewhere in Colorado.

Why did I trash it?

First, let’s get something out of the way: I can’t stand the smooth-brained trope of, “Grasshopper, the lesson was not yet ready, read it later, and the lesson will appear.”

Away with that nonsense. In fact, in the spirit of honesty and decorum — fuck off with that nonsense.

That’s like saying, “stay in an abusive relationship, because at the right time, it will blossom.” Ok, that might be a stretch. But some books suck, and it’s ok to have the backbone to say it sucks, and, more importantly, it’s ok to think for yourself and say it sucks. Some people hate the idea of throwing a book in the trash, literally. They often say, “You can donate it and give it to someone who may find value in it!” You can give it away if you want, sure. But if you think it sucks that bad, why let anyone else read such shittiness? I know that idea offends many, they leap to an absurd stretch that it’s almost as if I’m out here burning books (this book, I wouldn’t want to waste the matches on it). But it’s me taking a stance, and that stance is, in case you forgot, the book and its shitty ideas suck.

Here’s why I threw it in my trash and covered it in cat food, coffee grinds, and cat throwup. Like I said, I like Roy Peter Clarke. He’s not a favorite of mine. But some of his writing books are ok, they offer some decent writing tips.

This book almost offered some ok tips on how to read fiction until he unleashed: “I’m a boomer hippy that’s down with the scene man! Peace and love are what I’m all about, and you know man, I was against ‘Nam and am for free love, and now I’m all about bringing down the…. give me a minute while I find out what’s hip and far out with the kids… the patriarchy! white supremacy! the classics!… wait I’m telling you to read the classics, but whatever, BRING EM DOWN MAN!!

It read like some boomer hippy insisted on playing Volunteers by Jefferson Airplane in the middle of every sentence.

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Here’s what I mean, Clarke offered a decent tip, like if you spot a word repeated a lot, then it may point to something in the story. Ok. Not bad. But then the next sentence or clause would wax an anti-Republican trope or some self-loathing about the author being white, or that women too can write good books. It was ridiculous and pointless.

Look, I’m conservative in the classical liberal sense, it roots my values and principles. That may come out sometimes in my writing. I’m not a political writer, nor do I pretend to be, but my beliefs and worldviews I’m sure leak into my writing. But I’m not going to write, “Aristotle’s golden mean gives a guideline, it’s unfortunate and horrific today that people believe Alexandria Oscaio-Cortez, she’s literally bringing down society, the Golden mean aspect, it’s nuanced….” But that’s the style in which Clarke wrote his book. A lesson, then a completely unnecessary progressive hobbyhorse, then right back into a tip. Sometimes he tried to be subtle, like calling then Republican Florida Governor Rick Scott, “Voldemort.” As in, he’d make an example sentence, and it would be, “Acts like Voldemort, treats people as if Voldemort, why it’s Rick Scott! The Governor of Florida. This dialogue style shows foreshadowing of theme.” It was pathetically absurd. If he wanted to take his stand, then argue it with clarity and then write a book on it, Clarke. But he simply wrote a tip, then either took his MSNBC informed shot at Conservatives, then went back into the tip. His virtue-signaling and his sanctimonious partisan grandstanding destroyed any lesson the book potentially offered.

So no, the grasshopper in me is not going to wait. If you’re a left-leaning reader of mine, my review, I believe, holds up. Politics aside, Clarke’s book suffered a whiplash effect and I found the tips to push navel gazing methods.

Safe to say, I don’t recommend this book.

Currently Reading

The Theory of Moral Sentiments, Adam Smith

Thomas Sowell mentions Adam Smith a lot. Adam Smith is often called the “Father of Capitalism.” He never used the term capitalism, in fact, it wasn’t around then. It was said as an insult later on. Smith is known as the father of a free market, his earth-shaking book, The Wealth of Nations fomented an entire economic school of thought and policy.

Yet this work overshadowed another earth-shaker, The Theory of Moral Sentiments. Smith taught philosophy at the University of Edinburgh. And the book is largely influenced by his lectures.

I’m reading it slowly. The style of the writing is accessible, but it’s written in a way that requires the reader to think on a passage and reread passages a few times. In other words, it reads like how proper teaching is supposed to work, a dialogue back and forth, where you engage with the text. I’m a few weeks into it and only about 280 pages in as of this writing.

I wouldn’t call it a slog, however. It’s a book that needs patience and consideration. What makes it not a slog, is that he’s able to capture human nature so well. The psychology he uses is incredible. It’s things observant people may have noticed, but couldn’t quite vocalize clearly. Smith puts it down on paper. And reading it, it forces you to reflect on these observations.

I will say, to make this work a little more accessible, knowledge of the following will help:

• Thomas Sowell

• Meditations, Marcus Aurelius

• Discourses, Epictetus

• Treatise on Human Nature, David Hume

• Aristotle

• Plato

In the back of my edition, Smith makes clear references to these among others (Cicero is really big, and Seneca here or there).

Not Read

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I heard of him via Mortimer Adler, he’s come up frequently in my Conservative rabbit hole, and masculine thought-leader, Shawn Smith has spoken highly of this work. Solzhenitsyn was sent to the gulag for speaking out against Joseph Stalin and communism. I hear his Gulag Archipelago is heart-wrenching and full of lessons. I hear the same thing on his fiction. He’s also on The Great Books list.

Love, Roddy Doyle

In high school, I was on a huge Roddy Doyle kick. And a bit into college. I haven’t read him in twenty years. The title caught me, and the dialogue inside caught me. It will be interesting to return to an author I haven’t read in twenty-some-odd years.

Classics Mini Stack: Twain, Stroker, Eliot, Shelley, Virgil

The names speak for themselves. I planned to inject more fiction into my reading for 2022. So lately, when I go to the bookstore, I do my best to grab some literature classics. Some of these may not be read for years. But I plan to get to them at some point.

The Long Embrace, Judith Freeman

This book popped on my radar via Tyler Cowen.

I’ve heard of Raymond Chandler, I guess he created a detective series, and apparently, it’s quite good. Ok, jokes aside, you know the deal with me and Chandler.

Chandler lived at something like 40 addresses in and around Los Angeles and La Jolla. From what I gather, Freeman attempts to visit each address, along with this, she delves into Chandler’s relationship with his wife Cissy. While Chandler was not faithful to his wife Cissy, he adored her and she adored him, and they had a distinct bond. This book meshes his addresses, his love for Cissy, and Freeman’s curiosity about both topics. It sounds interesting.

M. Stanton Evans, Stephen Hayward

This book is part of my Conservative rabbit hole. I love behind-the-scenes players. And Evans, apparently, was a big one behind the Conservative movement. He commanded his behind-the-scenes power due to his writing, which makes me even more curious.

Black Rednecks and White Liberals, Thomas Sowell

Thomas Sowell arguably wields the most influence over my thought. He’s my intellectual hero. He’s a thinker and writer I believe people will be reading centuries after he passes. This book is on race issues. A topic where he rips off band-aids and rips down curtains. As always, I’m looking forward to reading Sowell.

Sunset Limited, Cormac McCarthy

Cormac McCarthy is one of my favorite fiction writers. I never heard of this book until I saw it. So I grabbed it.

How To Read A Book and Why, Harold Bloom

Harold Bloom is a famous literary critic. He’s written a ton on how to unpack and decipher literature. I’ve read him in the past. I enjoy him at times, yet at times he can be very Harold Bloom. He can get quite ponderous, snooty, sanctimonious, and downright boring with his galactic levels of navel-gazing. Yet, at times, he can offer some decent insights. I will not intensely read this book, I prefer to extract a few simple insights from Bloom, and ignore the parts where he gets into sanctimonious drivel.

The Complete Essays, Michel de Montaigne

Montaigne has been on my list for a while. The Essays is thick. I’m unsure whether I’ll read it in one pass or if it will work more like dipping into essays here or there. Either way, he was an influential thinker, and these essays are considered a classic.

Modern Ireland, R.F. Forester

I’m nearly 100% Irish. The genetic background tests tell me I’m something like 99.999% Irish. So my ancestors hung out on that island for a long time. My dad held dual citizenship in the USA and, you guessed it, Ireland. I’ve visited Ireland around twenty times. And my senior college thesis was on Ireland (it was a terrible paper, I think it was on how The Troubles were represented in American media versus Irish Media). And my senior project in high school was on James Joyce (that one was better than my college thesis). And my hero Edmund Burke is from Ireland.

If you’re picking it up by now, Ireland is an important place to me. I haven’t read much Irish history since college. Recently, Tyler Cowen went on an Irish bent with recommendations. Cowen said this book is the best on Irish history. And he recently had the author on his Conversations with Tyler Podcast. The interview was fantastic. I listened twice.

Irish history isn’t quite on my radar right now. I pick on gut feelings and rabbit holes when I decide what book to read (it’s a whole ordeal sometimes). Yet at some point I’ll get to this one.

Sophocles

Oedipus Rex. You’ve likely heard of him. Perhaps in high school or college. Sophocles created that story, among other famous stories. I’ve been hearing Sophocles a lot lately in regard to today’s society. And Victor Davis Hanson, a thinker I admire, references Sophocles often when he talks about what is hollowing out society today. In other words, Sophocles’ drama and the meaning he instilled still holds up 2,400 or so years after he wrote his plays.

What path did they take to achieve their fame?

To what do they credit their success?

Outside of the generic, “hard work, self-belief, and never give up,” what did they do?

Did they develop habits?

Seek out business coaches?

Join a paid Facebook group?

Dedicate time to studying their industry?

Can you recall any top CEO or entrepreneur crediting their success to paying thousands of dollars to attend all-day meetings?

Consider the question for a moment.

Does Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, or Susan Wojcicki attribute their success to a group of like-minded hustlers? A group they paid thousands of dollars to join? A group that was run by a self-labeled business coach? Can you recall them saying, “If I didn’t pay that business expert $50,000 to join all-day meetings, I’d be nowhere today”?

I’ll tell you the answer.

No.

You might argue that some CEOs work with Tony Robbins. And you’re right. But those CEOs made it to the top of the heap without Tony’s expensive advice. To those CEOs, Tony is a status hire, a bragging right. Some successful people have a unique way of surrounding themselves with “experts.” One portion hire experts to make day-to-day tasks easier, like a chef. Whereas the others seem to combine peacocking with a quick fix for some existential crisis, like hiring a Shaman. Tony is expensive and hiring him signals status. “Tony Robbins is my life coach” rolls off the tongue nicely. Granted, Tony is arguably one of the best motivators in the world. And he resonates with a crowd who yearn to achieve. Yet when you study a successful company’s history, or a successful person’s rise, that success didn’t begin with Tony’s ideas. That success didn’t begin with a success coach. And that success certainly didn’t begin with a paid meeting called a mastermind.

Today, many people sell various success methods. The offerings range from meditation secrets to persuasion tactics that promise to “30x your business!” And masterminds are popular products offered by countless “business gurus,” “income experts,” “growth architects,” and “high-ticket closers.” They are sometimes called an “Inner Circle,” “Platinum Executive Club,” “War Room,” “High-Ticket Closers Circle,” and other clichéd names. No matter the name, they all operate on the basic mastermind concept.

What is a mastermind?

A mastermind’s core premise: an intimate meeting of like-minded professionals who share ideas to benefit your business and career. Some are free to join. But most of you must pay to join. They start at $5,000 and soar to and even over $100,000. Most meet once or up to four times a year. Now with most masterminds, but not all, that fee entitles a member to the total meetings sold. As in, if you joined a mastermind offering four meetings, you don’t need to attend each meeting in a given year. That’s part of the reason why most meetings will have some new faces and some old faces. While the mastermind’s sales page may claim to “close the doors,” that phrase has been bastardized into a call to action. Most gurus will keep the doors open; only a rare few actually do limit members.

All masterminds promise “new” secrets, high-level connections, and ways to explode your business. Paid masterminds offer a well-intended opportunity to grow your business. But in reality, you pay money to attend an all-day meeting and posture inside a social theater.

The mastermind idea originated with Napoleon Hill.¹ In his book, Think and Grow Rich, Hill claimed that men like Andrew Carnegie met other industry titans in intimate settings to share ideas. Hill claimed that the ideas they discussed would then seed into the universe (as in, manifest your destiny). When ready, the ideas would impregnate the unconscious mind. After some gestation, they would birth miraculous business growth.

Hill isn’t wrong that Andrew Carnegie met with other wealthy men of his time. I’m sure Carnegie and his fellow Robber Barons discussed business. It’s probably no different than if you chat shop with someone working at a different company, or if Tim Cook asks Jeff Bezos for a new microchip supplier.

Yet mounting evidence shows that Hill never even met the titans, let alone joined their “secret business meetings.” My guess is that Hill added a sexy label to the obvious idea that Carnegie met others and talked business. He created a romantic, near conspiracy-sounding name—mastermind. It sounds almost like a syndicate (which is interesting, since most direct marketers call their insider groups that discuss how they will launch and sell products, syndicates).

Mastermind. It’s a romantic notion, isn’t it? A group of powerful and wealthy business owners meet to flesh out big ideas and complex plans. Their decisions affect the future. While we, the success-driven professionals, wish to taste those secrets. If you haven’t yet achieved the level of success you want in life, you can imagine sitting in a room with mentors who reveal untold secrets to success. Secrets you can ride to the loftiest heights.

Next, consider the alluring conspiracy essence: a group of powerful people meet in private like some entrepreneur Illuminati. They discuss secrets only known to them. Then those like-minded hustlers apply the secrets to control their destinies, all while getting stinking rich in the process.

Hill birthed the mastermind concept, but his followers monetized it. Hill himself never monetized masterminds. In fact, Hill never monetized much of anything. After Think and Grow Rich’s initial success, Hill finished his days destitute. Masterminds never quite hit their money-making stride until Gary Halbert came along in the 1980s.

Famous copywriter Gary Halbert added structure to Hill’s mastermind concept. Halbert developed the idea of a one-hour hot seat (footnote Gary Halbert Letters, and Dan Kennedy Seminars, and various stories I’ve heard at masterminds). A hot seat? An attendee gets one hour focused on them. The core idea: the expert and attendees will grill you about your business for one hour. That grilling supposedly cranks your business to new levels.

Halbert’s model and wild popularity influenced the mastermind we know today. People like Dan Kennedy, Joe Polish, Ryan Deiss, John Carlton, Frank Kern, Guthy-Renker (the company who created Tony Robbins), Yanik Silver, Jeff Walker, and Eben Pagan (David DeAngelo) were all influenced by Halbert’s model. And I’d argue that same group taught Russell Brunson. Every one of them recycled Gary’s basic mastermind structure, and some added in their own ingredients. A few created an event style mastermind, where the “expert” mainly “teaches.” Others created courses and masterminds selling “how to create and sell a mastermind.”

Here’s what’s shocking: despite people paying thousands upon thousands of shekels to learn how to create a mastermind, the concept is brain-dead simple. Gary Halbert supposedly came up with the idea while salting himself in a Florida Keys bar. He thought it’d be an easy way to make a lot of money without doing much work. And he was right.

Most masterminds or “Inner Circles” basically run Gary’s plan:

1. Get between ten to twenty-five attendees—if you’re doing hot seats, best to keep it under twelve people.

2. Offer a one-hour hot seat.

3. Bring in a guest expert or two to present or attend.

4. Host the event for two or three days.

5. Sell “insider relationships,” “accountability,” and “how it will grow your business.”

6. Charge money for it.

Let’s create a mastermind.

We return to Bill.

Bill is The Good Word’s fictional guru. Here’s a quick recap on Bill’s journey, which resembles most “online experts.”

• Bill originated as a personal trainer.

• He started an online side business selling fitness and weight loss info products.

• After nearly a decade, he wrote a sales letter that was seen as a hit inside ClickBank.

• The hit profited close to one million dollars in sales, and Bill netted a six-figure income.

• After a year, his “hit” offer foundered.

• Needed income to match his new money lifestyle, Bill slithered into selling “how to be successful,” also known as selling success.

Bill niche-hopped into selling success, a common step that many gurus take. Most gurus weren’t big giants in their fields or niches. At best, most were average and tasted some success, but then the bottom fell out. Yet they yearn to be seen as a big player. Like most gurus, Bill experienced mild success (a sales offer grossing close to or more than seven figures), but then he couldn’t recapture the magic.

We meet Bill reinventing.

Bill’s journey to becoming a business expert, like all success gurus, begins with reinvention. He is searching for a new image to show to the world. Bill wants to teach success, and he’s looking at how to position himself. He’s not pioneering new business advice. He’s not scrapping away as a consultant. He isn’t getting hired by Venture Capital firms to pitch huge deals. He isn’t getting called to draw companies out of bankruptcy. In other words, he isn’t hired to get results.

At the end of the day, Bill lacks skin in the game. As we know, Bill ran an information product launch business model tied to affiliate marketing. He did everything via a paint-by-numbers formula. Granted, he made money doing it, but Bill only knows that business model. He isn’t much of a copywriter. He isn’t much of a salesperson. He isn’t much of a leader.

When Bill can finally hire someone, people hate working for him. Why? He changes his management style and “employee culture” method each time he reads a new business book. In short, Bill is a socially awkward person who made some money selling info products on the internet. Like most success gurus, Bill has limited business know-how. He barely even knows his own business model. Bill learned the rest from the pseudo-business books you find in airport bookstores and on shows like Shark Tank. Still, Bill, like most gurus, sees himself as a business visionary.

When Bill moves from selling weight loss info products to selling business advice, he first creates some info products that sell success. He buys a done-for-you template that shows him how to create the offer, tells him which sales funnel to use, and even features the content that he will teach. The template also offers generic marketing tips like “find a hungry marketplace,” “join ClickBank and find affiliates,” or “try your hand at Facebook ads.”

A note on content: most standard guru make-money-online products include copywriting, mindset, goals, consulting, high-ticket sales closing, making money on social media, getting new leads, and public speaking. But the products are offer forward. Meaning, you write the sales message first. Then you look at the promises you made in the sales letter. Last, you try to create a product to solve the promises. It’s often taught that you should take no longer than two weeks to create the product. The key focus is the sales message. Many gurus have turned this formula into a paint-by-numbers plan that they sell.

Bill follows the paint-by-numbers marketing steps. As in, he creates the offer first. Once he has the offer, he looks at his promises. From that, he tries to create a product. The promise, again, doesn’t come from experience. Bill’s promise stems from his market research. And his research adheres to the standard digital marketing, direct marketing advice.

Bill, like most gurus and countless other digital marketing businesses, seeks out customer “pain points.” He creates a survey asking potential customers for their biggest problems. For instance, in weight loss, a problem might be, “I hate the rebound weight gain.” He also asks questions like, “What would it be like if this problem could be fixed?” and “What would be the best-case scenario answer to those problems?” As in, he asks questions to determine what his solution should look like.

Next, Bill may look at best-selling books on Amazon related to his niche. He’ll look at the language in the five-star reviews and the one-star reviews. He’s looking for what people loved about the results and where some people struggled. Last, Bill will study other competitor’s promises, or Unique Selling Propositions, in his potential marketplace. He will look for commonly made promises as well as other fad generalities he can use like, “With so many fake gurus out there telling you how to make money…” From here, he creates his promise, his hook, and his sales letter.

And as for the product?

Well, when a guru, like Bill, tries to create a product that pays off the promise, things get a little murky.

In his paint-by-numbers course, Bill learned three principles for creating his product:

1. You only need to be one step ahead of your market. This concept goes back to Gary Halbert seminars and likely back to Joe Karbo, who Halbert deeply admired. Robert Ringer also taught the idea. According to their teachings, you just need to know a bit more than who you’re selling to. That “bit more” doesn’t mean experience. Here’s how it plays out. The guru teaching Bill will state the standard lesson, “People love paying for information. And too many people waste time worrying about not being an expert. If you’ve never closed sales in person and you’re trying to sell a “high-ticket closers” product, just look up ‘how to close’ in a popular sales book. You’ll get enough information to lead the mastermind, and no one will know the difference. Most people don’t read or research things. Even if they read, most read poorly, and the info will seem new to them.” (FOOTNOTE countless masterminds, events, and courses.)

2. Sell them what they want. Give them what they need. As you can see, this is a meaningless statement, but it comes in various forms. You might hear, “They will forget the crazy promises, just give them whatever you know!” or “If you’re worried, something like only 3% actually ever go through the course. Most just buy it; 15% do like a module or two, and the rest do nothing with it.” In other words, don’t spend time worrying about a great product. They tell you that you need to get started because “action alleviates anxiety.” In other words, they dogmatically teach you to not worry about the product; just create the offer.

3. Create content that sells. Currently, this seems to the most popular method. Basically, gurus create content that works as a sales pitch to sell more products. Some gurus salt open-loops into a product. As in, a “better and faster way” is mentioned in the original product. But, to get that “better and faster way,” you must buy a more expensive product. How can you spot it? Listen to the guru talk about coaching. If he says something like, “The best investment is yourself,” he’s using his content to sell his products. Some gurus even learn to create courses or offer a “free” book that works as a sales page to sell more products. Really sharp gurus, like Ryan Deiss, can host an event like Traffic and Conversion, and the entire event sells products. The lessons tend to say little other than things anyone can say, like, “The best demand is when you’re in demand.” This “create content that sells” method links back to motivational speaking events, where the speaker’s talk is a guise that sells their product. And it links back to magalogs. Magalogs were a direct marketing method made popular by Rodale and Boardroom Publishing (now Bottom Line). A magalog is a sales pitch to some product or a few products. The articles never convey conclusive information. They just offer you a way to get the “miracle.” Just like the magalog, a guru’s course has one purpose: to get you to buy more products.

Bill focuses on the murky third method when creating his products.

Why?

If you read the first Bill post, you know that Bill depends heavily on Russell Brunson’s Clickfunnels product. Russell also sells various Expert Funnels.

Bill buys each one.

Inside the Clickfunnels software, you can buy product upgrades like Funnel University. In this upgrade, Russell or a Clickfunnels employee break down a certain sales funnel, such as Frank Kern’s or a retail store’s. Russell describes the funnel, how it works, and why he likes it. Then, if you’re a Funnel University subscriber, Clickfunnels gives you an option to use that funnel. You simply click a link, and—voila!—you have the entire funnel at your fingertips. Everything is paint-by-numbers, from the copy to the layout to the videos.

Bill buys those prepackaged funnels. Still, he needs to sell something. As we know, Bill lacks real-world experience—a fact he wildly misses.

So what does Bill do?

We know Bill is creating an offer-forward product. Now, it’s time for the key part of his offer: positioning. Bill needs to label his products and tie the name to a theme.

Why?

Again, positioning.

The theme helps position the products. As the theory goes, a theme like “Warrior Closing” aims at creating a position. Instead of just naming the product “Closing Sales,” you tie it to the guru’s shtick. You might know this as “branding.”

But in this world, branding isn’t the primary goal. In fact, to some, branding is seen as a waste of time. Why? Many direct marketing gurus view branding as a nine-to-five corporate thing. It makes little sense to me. Yet the theme, in the digital marketing world, and exponentially more in the guru world, is seen as positioning that boosts conversions.

That theme-based positioning is also tied to a copywriting tactic called mechanism. Here’s the short definition of mechanism: it’s the tangible part of the product that generates a repeatable result, like the aspirin in Excedrin that reduces pain. But in copywriting, the mechanism can twist the tangible—or the supposed tangible—into a tantalizing shortcut. “Weird trick to earn six figures in passive income working only one Sunday a month.” Here, in this shopworn phrase, the mechanism is something akin to a killer sales offer, Direct Messages on social media, or an investment scheme working so smoothly, you need to check on it once a month. Yes, it’s that vague and wildly unrealistic. The tantalizing shortcut? Copywriting skills, or some script to use on social media, or god-knows-what for an investment strategy. In short, the main goal is to elicit in their prospect’s mind that they offer a mechanism, a shortcut, a secret map, to the desired result. And the guru tries to create an ideology, or personal image, of how the prospect may get results. As in, they don’t just earn six figures. They earn it like a Warrior. So, all of the guru’s products must tie to the guru’s chosen shtick.

Bill works on creating the offer, and he tests various labels until he finds one that boosts conversions. He tailors his offer to the funnel Russell Brunson provides inside his Clickfunnels software. Once Bill has his label and his “how to make money online” course ready, he begins selling it. But, all that offer creation is aimed at one thing: live events.

The cornerstone step for gurus: hosting live events.

Bill knows he must host a live event. The mastermind product for someone like Bill is critical.

Distinctly critical.

A guru’s livelihood largely depends on live events. Their shtick—their claims on how they have coached entrepreneurs who command hundreds of millions of dollars—hinges on the people who pay to sit in a room and listen to them.

Bill starts with this formula: create a generic make-money course that sells the mastermind. This means that a course like “How To Start A Million Dollar Empire” aims at pushing his live events. Note, those courses sell other courses, yet they will all either hint at or directly sell a live event like a mastermind.

Why sell the course first and not the mastermind? Bill sells both. But he lacks the marketing chops to focus on directly selling the mastermind with a sales page. So, at this stage in his journey, selling the courses is an easier way to feed people to the live event. At some point, if Bill attracts a larger following and can hire better copywriters to write the sales pages, he will use various platforms to directly sell his mastermind. By using boilerplate templates, Bill funnels people into his live event. This is a tried and proven method that works for most “hot new gurus” on the scene.

The core aim is still to sell live events. The money resides in live events.

Live events generate profits in three different ways:

1. Sell more products at the event that help sell other live events.

2. Sell more exclusive live events.

3. Feature guest experts who pay to speak. Or, the guru may pay them but gets a cut of their product sales. Gurus structure various deals here.

The mastermind is the easiest live event to start. Bill, and other gurus, call the mastermind “high ticket.” This means they can kill two birds with one stone. First, they sell the mastermind. In the direct marketing world, most products costing over five-hundred bucks are considered “high ticket.” A mastermind costs well over $5,000, so the guru uses the sales price from the mastermind to claim that he has closed high-ticket sales. Second, he turns this claim into a product by making it sound like the guru will teach guarded secrets of closing high-ticket sales. In sum, those “high-ticket closing” style products, yep, are tied back to the guru’s ability to sell a paid meeting. To the general public, we might call a high-ticket sale something like selling a Boeing airplane. But to gurus, high-ticket sales means selling their events.

A little sidetrack. Sales trainers or gurus who use a high-ticket closer theme almost always use a mastermind or coaching session to lay claim to that label. Most true “high-ticket closers” never call themselves that. Why? A person who deals in high stakes needs to be a professional. They must be seen on the same level as the person who structures the pending deal. This usually means rich companies and wealthy people. So, if a person has a “shtick” like “high-ticket closing master,” they’re seen either as a poser or a clown. Someone with a shtick has never done venture capital deals. Nor have they ever closed something like a commercial real estate deal in the mega millions. If you see the high-ticket closing label, it generally links back to a mastermind or the guru selling coaching.

How do you develop a mastermind?

To really make money, Bill knows he needs to create a mastermind. And, all of the new “products” he’s going to sell through his various expert funnels will push the mastermind.

Even though Bill belongs to a few masterminds, he’s nervous about starting one. Bill, like most gurus, loves optimization. He worships success secrets, success hacks, and success methods. He believes those things equate success. And Bill thinks “action alleviates anxiety” and believes the best investment is himself. Despite knowing and attending masterminds, Bill has no idea how to start one.

Bill decides he must invest in his success, so he joins another Russell Brunson Mastermind. This new mastermind is called How to Start a Mastermind. (Yes. Masterminds on how to start a mastermind exist.)

Bill eagerly listens to Russell. For the umpteenth time, Russell or someone gets on stage and shows the numbers that a mastermind can produce.

Here’s a basic overview.

• Label yourself an expert.

• Create a sales page selling a mastermind.

• Charge $20,000 to join.

• Get at least twenty people to join.

• 20 x $20,000 = $400,000

Bill sees this as alchemy. He thinks Russell is showing him a legal way to print money. He misses the fact that anyone can put up these numbers about anything. Instead, Bill sees these numbers as a viable business model.

Then Russell, being the showman he is, pours on the heat. He explains how easy it is to run a few of these events. Russell’s right. Russell then walks the numbers up to over $1,000,000. And Russell or a “guest expert” teaches Bill and the audience how, for just twenty hours of work, they can make $10,000,000.

The entrepreneurs furiously take notes. Russell even invites teenager and self-proclaimed eight-figure-earning financial wizard Caleb Maddix on stage.

Bill feels guilty.

Why hasn’t he made as much as Caleb? Bill—like most gurus and most people posting “100” on a guru’s Instagram page—believes Caleb’s claims. But then Bill realizes that feeling guilty is toxic thinking. If Caleb can make eight figures, then so can Bill. This, by the way, is why Russell pulls Caleb on stage. To get the reaction we just saw with Bill. It’s a powerful sales method.

Russell uses a prop like Caleb in two ways.

First, Russell is slyly selling his own credibility. Why? Russell is whale hunting. Whale hunting is a common tool that many sales people, from gurus to high-end consultants, use. It’s nothing nefarious. It’s when someone like Russell looks for one or two people in a room who can make him a lot of money. A consultant may host an event and look for the one or two people who will hire them for a huge fee, but Russell runs bloodthirsty partner schemes. He looks for potential businesses that he can partner with and take into the stratosphere. Russell’s a fox; one must pay Russell a lot to get this partnership. And as a cherry on top, Russell takes an enormous cut.

The second way Russell uses Caleb is for straight selling. He will use things like a speaker or a “lesson” to upsell either other events or more products. Someone like Caleb presses hard on the “invest in yourself” theory the people in this world fetishize. People feel guilty for not having been like Caleb when they were younger. They feel scared Caleb greatly outperforms them. They feel their only choice to better their situation is to invest in themselves by buying something that promises them faster ways to growth.

Bill’s hand cramps as he writes notes.

He’s practically drooling.

He can’t believe he found this alchemy.

He’s found a way to fame, prestige, and riches.

Then, Russell brings up another guest. This time, it’s someone with ties to Grant Cardone. And this mystery guy behind Grant Cardone shows Bill more alchemy. He says that if you run a few events with X many attendees, you can make up to $100,000,000.

Bill nearly falls out of his seat.

His hand cramps even more.

He pounds his Organifi Greens Drink to calm the cramps.

Bill looks around the room. He views himself as superior. He knows his routine is better. These people in the room probably hit the snooze button. Bill goes to bed at 7:00 p.m. and wakes up at 3:00 a.m. Bill has optimized his morning routine. Bill reads Og Mandino. Bill attends Tony Robbins events. Bill writes in a gratitude journal every night. He looks at the inferior snooze-button-hitting losers and sees himself as better. Bill envisions himself going above and beyond. He fancies that he can become a billionaire.

The mastermind product will probably be Bill’s biggest income generator. Bill will likely never become a billionaire. Yet masterminds do offer Bill the fastest way to make six figures or more. And they bring Bill closer to other critical guru-profit generators: events, consulting, stage-selling, co-hosted masterminds, and co-hosted events. These events combined will earn Bill a comfortable high-six-figure income. He’ll claim he’s a millionaire based on the profits. But Bill, like most gurus, ignores overhead costs and debts. Though, we can’t deny that Bill may possibly strike luck and make over one million dollars a year. He may even strike incredibly rare luck and get into the ranks of Grant Cardone, Tony Robbins, and Gary Vaynerchuck. But this is highly unlikely. Bill lacks the social swagger those giants innately pack. He also lacks a killer instinct.

Bill’s key to riches: success labels.

As Bill starts selling business advice, he learns that he needs to raise credibility. But credibility in the guru business looks different than common credibility. When we think of credibility, we think:

• Experience

• Industry leader

• Business model pioneer

• Track record of results

• Known for developing or improving a philosophy in their field

Generally, a track record comes with time. Certainly some people “get it” right away (like Jeff Bezos). Regardless, credibility is usually linked to an intelligent person with street-level know-how. We respect the person’s opinion, insight, and advice. We also respect that the person has skin in the game.

In the digital marketing guru and success world, credibility takes on an entirely different meaning.

Bill learns that he needs credibility for three reasons. The first, and most important, reason is that credibility labels help raise sales page and event conversions.

The next reason is that gurus use credibility labels for positioning. Bill learns from experts like Dan Kennedy or Frank Kern that he needs to position himself correctly. He must position himself as the expert. Trademarking this position, like labeling yourself “The Master Closer” or “The Billionaire Maker,” is hip right now.

Last, the credibility labels offer “proof.” Not proof of experience, but cosmetic proof that helps bolster a sales promise, boost conversions and center a Unique Selling Proposition (the benefit for choosing a product or guru compared to the competitors). It’s pseudo-proof. But to a guru, it’s real.

Why this “proof”? Because it makes it easier for the customer to fork over $20,000.

Now, experts like Dan Kennedy, Frank Kern, Ryan Deiss, or even Tony Robbins, peddle this “credibility” or “expertise” idea by saying that you can call yourself an expert and make money.

Why?

Gurus like Bill are gullible to the credibility pitch. Bill’s ego loves the idea of being seen as an expert. The labels give him something to get that validation. To the people selling those labels, Bill is a laydown customer. They tell him how the labels will boost his conversions. Then, they remind him that “the graveyard is full of credible experts too scared to sell themselves, experts scared to make money because of their poor mindset.” Then they hook Bill. They tell Bill he has that energy, that vibe, that killer instinct. Bill can become a star.

Bill learns that those labels pave a path to people willing to pay him $20,000.

What ARE those labels?

Again, it’s critical for Bill, and other success gurus, to find the right labels. The right labels lead others to believe that Bill is a success expert. Most gurus lack the professional background, professional results, and more importantly, the professional experience they claim. Bill ignores this. Or rather, Bill is not conscious of it. Instead, he fancies himself a Jeff Bezos. He believes his invite to the coveted Allen and Company meeting in Sun Valley, Idaho, is just around the corner.

Let’s unpack how the credibility labels start and work.

At the masterminds and events, Bill learned that he needs to use a device called leapfrogging. The tactic was made popular by self-development guru, Robert Ringer. Robert Ringer, best known for Winning through Intimidation, explained leapfrogging in his audio courses. Basically, instead of going through standard channels to become known, you simply call yourself an expert. Robert Ringer, I believe, intended to motivate his listeners to move past their fears. For instance, you can write a fiction book without worrying about getting a PhD in literature. The negative side, however, looms large. We find that success coaches merely label themselves as “business experts” although they have very little actual business experience. It’s like buying a black belt at a martial arts store and labeling yourself a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

A guru often preaches the leapfrog idea alongside rousing motivational platitudes. Tony Robbins may be the most famous person who used the leapfrog tactic (although he didn’t buy his label. Guthy-Renker paved his path). The core lesson: you are the story you tell yourself. If you don’t believe you’re an expert, you’re falling prey to a toxic mindset and playing victim to social conditioning. Tell yourself a different story. You deserve what you want. Only you can tell yourself that you’re not an expert.

Clever foxes figured out they could profit on the leapfrog. They know that someone like Bill will pay through the nose to be seen as an expert. The foxes figured out how to sell labels gurus want by selling the credibility the wannabe guru desperately desires. These foxes have created potent pitches that sell done-for-you credibility. They pitch that anyone can become a best-selling author or a recognized expert in their field. And luckily for these foxes, the labels help boost conversions on a guru’s sales page. A guru like Bill pays a few grand, and the label foxes handle the rest.

Where does this mini-industry exist? You’ll find them at larger marketing events, like Traffic and Conversion, Russell Brunson events, or other success events. For instance, if you attend a Dan Kennedy event, it’s impossible to not meet someone selling you credibility.

Here’s what I mean by credibility or labels.

• Want to be a “Best-Selling Author”? You can buy it.

• Want an article in Forbes? You can buy it.

• Want an article featured in HuffPo? You can buy it.

• Want to be on the news? You can buy it.

• Want a video reel that looks like you’re speaking to raving fans? You can buy it.

• Want some “as seen on” labels? You can buy it.

• Want a Shark Tank Host to call you an expert? You can buy it.

• Want some “featured in” labels? You can buy it.

• Want to trademark your “Highest Income Expert of the Universe” self-donned nickname? You can buy it.

Who sells them?

Almost too many companies to list, but here are a few:

• Lioncrest Publishing

• Advantage Publishing

• Speak in Dubai

• Speak at Harvard

Bill starts buying labels.

The labels aren’t cheap. But Bill depends on them.

He pays Lioncrest to do a “best seller in a box” for him. Lioncrest is one of the many publishing agencies that offer to write you a book. Then they find ways to call it a best seller, so you can use the book as a business card. Bill pays them to give him a best-seller label. Bill uses a Free Plus Shipping funnel he learns from Russell. Hint: the shipping cost pays for the book.

We’ll throw some luck Bill’s way.

The new book funnel launch does well. Bill first sells it to his affiliates in the health niche, as in, other “Bills.” Who buys? The people who command failing-to-mediocre offers. Now, you might think this would be a small market. But you’re wrong. If you look at the amount of offers on ClickBank, or the amount of people attending Traffic and Conversion—it’s significant.

How a place like ClickBank is where Bill finds his first customers.

Take the ClickBank world for a moment. As of this writing, 3,436 products are sold on ClickBank. If you click on the Marketplace—the area where products are sold—you’ll see page one out of 344 (note: you now need to have a ClickBank account to view the Marketplace). You also see the current ranking. The top offer on page one is number one out of the 3,436 products sold on ClickBank. ClickBank lists ten offers on each subsequent page.

Page one is the holy grail. If you make it to page one, you have bragging rights. The top two can be well into producing eight-figures. But the top five offers, generally, are the only ones earning well over seven figures or more in gross profits.

After twenty, they drop off a cliff, usually into five figures and much lower. It’s here that we also find many former page one offers—offers once revered as doing it right, now at best trickling in a few hundred dollars or less each month in sales.

Basically, only .14% crank one million or more. Then a small fraction do six figures, and the rest below that. In sum, around 99% of people on ClickBank are not cranking profits. That’s a few thousand entrepreneurs. And that few thousand, not making it, are the ones who Traffic and Conversion preys on. Those are the people who pay through the nose for the masterminds. That group comprises the people who believe they can buy secrets to success. That group buys from Bill.

In case you’re wondering, Bill’s previous hit offer would likely have been number eight in rankings for a little bit. And most gurus who came from the ClickBank world were maybe on page 200 or 300, at best. That’s not to say this group doesn’t make money, but it’s a grind.

How do they make their money? How do they afford masterminds? They get quick hits of cash by selling the top ten offers to their email list. Meaning, that guru who teaches “how to write persuasive sales copy,” made money on the backs of other people’s copywriting, not their own. In other words, that guru never made their own sales. Their money came from a tested email swipe that drove clicks to a top offer.

That 99%, the ones who aren’t earning a ton on ClickBank, dream of being in the top five. The dreamers comprise Bill’s demographic audience. And this group acts as the ground where Bill first finds his footing. Eventually, as Bill buys more labels, his marketing will attract those who are unfamiliar with digital marketing. Soon, to outsiders, Bill will claim to be a guru who’s started million dollar businesses and coached top CEOs.

Bill’s rise to guru riches.

We’ll give Bill some more luck. Let’s say his new book funnel is a hit. The done-for-you book Bill bought is called Uncompromising Success. And Bill hammers the theme Uncompromising. Bill got lucky. Most gurus blindly pick a label by throwing darts, hoping for one to convert. The product stays the same, but it takes testing and time to find the right name and labels. Then, when one dart finally hits the board, gurus run with it.

Bill uses Clickfunnels pre-loaded and designed for things like a book, Free Plus Shipping funnel. Bill takes all the money from his funnel and buys every credibility label he can.

He pays “Speak at Harvard” to get the logos.

He throws money to anyone selling schemes to allow him to say he’s been “featured on.”

He buys highlight reel footage.

Lioncrest gets him some published articles.

He pays to trademark “The Greatest Income Coach Alive” and “The Result Getter.”

Bill pays an image consultant. He gets hair plugs. He grows a manicured five-o’clock shadow. He even colors his beard. He starts wearing ripped jeans, a members only leather jacket, and high tops.

Why?

He needs to mold his image to the Uncompromising theme. And the image consultant, an attractive woman, sold Bill a line. She eyed him up and down, touched his shoulder a few times and let her hand linger a little longer than normal. She laughed a little too long at his jokes. She name-dropped a few entrepreneurs she worked with. She told him that she sensed something she rarely saw in all the other men and that he packed the lone-wolf presence displayed by the character Bobby Axelrod, aka, Axe, on the television show Billions. When Bill hears this, he nearly throws his wallet at the woman making the pitch. He misses the fact that she told around fifty other guys the same thing.

Bill can’t spend the money fast enough to get the labels.

He wants to be the highly polished bad boy he envisions.

He wants to look like he’s Uncompromising.

Now when Bill buys the label, he believes he is that label—because you are the story you tell yourself. He loves telling people that he taught at Harvard Business School and blew them away.

How can he make that claim?

He bought Clint Arthur’s “Speak at Harvard” program. You don’t actually speak. You get photos where you fake speak at a Harvard approved space. Bill brags that he was prominently featured on a morning show and spoke on how to start a business during a recession. How did he do that? As part of Speak at Harvard, they promised him a morning slot on some morning show in an offbeat market. Bill also buys label packages offering “highlight reel” footage. These highlight reels show him succeeding, and he can use them on his site or on a stage.

Now, he deludes himself into thinking the folks at NBC needed him to come on and spout advice. But, in reality, Bill wants that label. He misses the fact that his chat on the morning show aired to a tiny market and that he was a mere blip. He believes he’ll be stopped in LAX and asked for an autograph. He believes, truly, that he may be invited on Shark Tank to be a guest Shark.

And that’s it.

Guru’s sales pages are full of labels. But most didn’t earn those stripes. They bought those stripes.

And those cosmetic stripes help Bill sell. They imply that Bill is a success expert. The labels and highlight reels help him check the “credibility” box he needs for conversions.

And, he gears each new label and highlight reel toward selling his mastermind.

Now, Bill needs to name his mastermind. He needs something catchy, something tied to the Uncompromising theme. He goes with, .01%ers Inner Circle.

Bill loves this.

He thinks a real life Bobby Axelrod would join something like the .01%ers Inner Circle. Bill isn’t some lowly 1%er. Bill certainly isn’t some 99%er working a nine-to-five job like some undisciplined poor loser. You know, those pathetic losers who hit their snooze buttons. Those losers who don’t even optimize their day or set goals. And Bill, well, with his new image, he’s above that. He’s a .01%er.

All the while, Bill misses the fact that he sits in the lower median end of the 1% income bracket and will never be in .01%er income. Still, his delusions of grandeur far surpass his income.

Bill’s structure for the .01%ers club.

Bill’s going to run the basic format for the .01%ers Club.

First, Bill reinvents his products.

He ties them to the Uncompromising theme.

• Uncompromising Copy

• Uncompromising Millionaire Secrets

• Uncompromising Success

• Uncompromising Instagram Influence

The lessons Bill stuffs into the course, more or less, use the “open-loop” tactic. The idea: tell just enough that you raise curiosity but don’t reveal the ending. The brain will want to “close the loop” to resolve its curiosity. This tactic proves dependable with the digital marketing community. Even the ghostwritten books now deploy it to sell more tickets to events. Bill salts his content with open loops. He insinuates that the real secrets, the most lethal success secrets, reveal themselves at the .01 %ers Inner Circle.

As Bill does this, he also pays a copywriter to work on his sales page. They throw on the labels. They use the highlight reels. And Bill pays big bucks to do a video where he’s speaking in front of a window with an ocean view. Then another video where Bill sits next to a black 1969 Dodge Charger, like the one Bobby Axelrod drives. Then another video of him on a private jet.

Bill spews his pitch. He wears jeans and a V-neck and dons a five-o’clock beard, which he colored darker. He loves his paid for “edgier” image. Bill starts claiming that he’s started many multi-million dollar businesses. That he’s grown those businesses to nine-figure empires. That his advice has helped sell over $500,000,000 of products. That he’s helped people conquer anxiety, vanquish depression, lose weight, buy their dream house, and rain blows on all excuses. And that he’s saved dying marriages (despite Bill being a virgin at 37).

Why is Bill concocting ludicrous claims?

Because his copywriter makes stretch claims.

What’s a stretch claim?

The stretch claim is a tool used by everyday marketers, aggressive snake oil salesmen, and everyone in between. The core idea: take an inane data point and make it sparkle. You take something like “two out of ten times” and say, “It peels off fat 20% faster.” Or, the copywriter could really stretch it and say, “20x faster.” How can he get away with saying 20x faster? Technically, he can’t. But if Bill gets called out on it, he says the copywriter or someone misread the information. A stretch claim isn’t always used to bullshit or lie. But as you can see, it’s vulnerable to abuse.

Another dark, yet comical, side to stretch claims: the positive-growth mindset mutated with future projections. Here’s how it works. Let’s say Bill gets a successful mastermind attendee (yes, wealthy people join; look at Tony Robbins). Now, the attendee has a health product that profits $30,000,000 a year. Bill will lay claim that his advice helped that attendee grow his business into a $30,000,000-a-year business. Despite that attendee having already succeeded well before Bill ever sold success. But Bill stretches that his advice led to those millions. He makes that stretch to sell “proof” and “credibility” that his advice works.

Another stretch. Bill attends the Dan Kennedy, Dan-Only Seminar and gets invited to dinner. To Bill’s delight, Adam Witty, the owner of Advantage Publishing, joins the group for dinner. Adam is a wildly successful entrepreneur and one of those foxes selling labels.

Bill will claim that he “helped” Adam Witty. He stretches that he helped Adam take his business into the stratosphere. He will take Adam’s profits, the profit number Dan Kennedy claimed Adam as having, and then roll it into his sales pitch. Bill may not use Adam’s name, but he will brag that he helped grow a massive publishing business to that level. That’s the stretch.

That stretch can be pushed by an aggressive copywriter, especially if the wannabe guru lacks previous results. Like Bill. The copywriter wants to get paid and wants a converting offer. If someone like Bill comes to him, the copywriter will say, “Can you reasonably say you discussed business with anyone more successful than you?” That’s the legal rhetoric. And Bill will jump and say he chatted books with Adam Witty (before Adam Witty sold Bill something). The copywriter will then cook up the claims. At other times, the guru cooks up the stretch. Regardless who cooked it, the wannabe biz whiz tricks themselves into honestly believing it.

Bill believes in his claims. Bill thinks his random conversations with people at marketing events correspond to him helping people get over $500,000,000 in sales. And Bill springs from what-if future projections when he claims that he started multiple seven-figure companies. He believes some past funnels he ran in the health niche, had he kept them going, would equate millions of dollars.

As Bill adds more credibility labels to his mastermind sales page, he pounds his list with emails. He mixes Tyler Bramlett (a popular email writer in the affiliate marketing sphere) and Russell Brunson style scripts. He emails his list five times a day, every day, month in and month out. On social media, he hammers his live coaching. He makes videos with titles like 3 Questions Every Millionaire Asks Before Going to Sleep. In those videos, Bill constantly hints or directly states that coaching is key.

Why does he say coaching is key? Because it drives sales. It’s also a mantra Bill himself believes.

And Bill sells his .01%ers Inner Circle hard.

The skeleton of Bill’s .01%ers club.

Here’s Bill’s basic .01%ers blueprint:

Cost to join: $20,000.

Bill makes you fill out an application. He only wants qualified “hustlers” because the .01%ers Inner Circle isn’t for someone not willing to do the hard work.

The application?

A sales tactic.

The idea works like an exclusive country club. You must somehow prove you belong to this group. You must somehow impress the club. And this tactic works well in this market. Why? For some people, it’s important for them to impress upon others that they belong. And this psychological insecurity runs rampant in the success world. Yet as long as you, or a power of attorney, can write a check or float a few credit card payments—you’re in. You don’t even need a heartbeat—as long as you pay. The application is aimed at someone who believes in the exclusivity of the mastermind.

Bill plans to host the .01%ers Inners Circle four times a year. Each meeting lasts for two days. He limits the mastermind to fifteen attendees and offers a one-hour hot seat. While the attendance is limited to fifteen, usually eight to twelve show up.

Bill runs a standard hot-seat style mastermind. The masterminds with over twenty attendees run more like an event. An expert will lecture, well, in reality, pitch for an entire day. These masterminds tend to feature generic names like “Discovery Day” or “Day With So and So” or “Summit XYZ.”

Bill also promises that guest experts will come and speak. At first, Bill pays a guest expert to show up. It’s easy money for the expert. You get your travel paid for, and you don’t need to do any prep. Essentially, you get a paid weekend trip. As Bill develops, he can then charge guests to attend, or he can cut a deal if the guest expert makes any sales at the mastermind.

We’ll strike some more fortune to Bill.

In a year, Bill gets twenty people to join .01%ers. He’s ecstatic. He earned $400,000. Now, Bill ignores the fact that he spent most of that money on credibility labels and highlight reel footage. Like most “experts,” he focuses on profits. That money spent, to a guru, equals an investment that will deliver wild returns in the future.

Still, Bill deserves credit. Often it takes a few years to get this many people to join. Bill hustled after he left the health niche, and he hustled his way to get twenty people to join .01%ers. And he sold his Uncompromising products. We’ll say Bill did well and sold around $100,000 or so. Again, kudos to Bill. Selling this many info products and grossing this amount inside a year is not easy. In fact, it’s not very likely, but for our sake, we’ll say Bill’s converting.

Let’s take it back to Bill’s .01%ers Inner Circle.

Bill might ignore this, but in running a mastermind, truly, we find few overhead expenses. Let’s walk out the costs.

• Conference Room: Average Cost $70–$160 an hour. Bill books a room in San Diego for $100 an hour for two days. Total = $1,200.

• Bill gets a projector for the room for two days. Total = $200.

• Bill wonders on food. He could pay for some coffee and fruit for an additional $200 or he could go on the cheap. With the common cheap route, the guru flies in the day before, runs to a Rite Aid, and buys two boxes of Kind Bars. Then he gathers as many free bottles of water as he can from the hotel and the Uber driver. Bill goes the cheap route. He buys two boxes of Kind Bars. Total = $24.

• Bill books a first class ticket (what happened to that private jet?) for his Instagram selfie. Total = $1,200.

• He books a hotel room for three nights, roughly $400 a night plus the taxes and hotel fees. Total = $1,500

• Bill declares separate checks for dinner. But we’ll say an attractive attendee, Amber, joined the mastermind. Bill buys $100 in drinks one night, but only for he and Amber. He cleverly ducks buying drinks for other attendees. Bill doesn’t tip—despite his social media claims that he loves giving huge tips because he provides so much value to people. Bill gets angry when Amber heads to another bar with a fitter, taller guy. Total = $200

• Bill hires one guest expert, a copywriter, to come to the event. Total =$3,000. The role of the guest expert: usually to show up. Also, and often, to come in and pitch their services or their mastermind. They may have a prepared talk, but that’s usually for something with more than 20 attendees. The guest expert is often someone known in DR. It could be a media buyer, a copywriter, an email expert, and so on. The guest expert is just a selling point.

Now let’s look at this from the attendee perspective. The attendee is going to a meeting where Bill earns $100,000 to just show up. Minus the above costs, Bill walks into a room for $92,676.00

For that amount, what does Bill offer?

We know he bought his credentials. We know he basically knows sales funnels that sell chintzy info products. We know he hasn’t really started multiple seven-figure businesses. But to most attendees in the mastermind world, fact-checking the claims or Bill’s background is “toxic thinking.” It’s a “victim mindset” and not a “growth mindset.” Most never question the labels and the claims.

Why? Numerous reasons, but a big draw to attend is the status of joining. The mastermind signals status, peacocking how the person “hustles.” They also get new bragging rights to drop at the next internet marketing event. Another reason is that people mistake the cosmetic busyness of a mastermind as doing the real work.

Now, back to Bill’s keen business insights.

What does Bill offer?

Not much.

Bill’s going to repeat things like “what I learned from successful millionaires.” He’s going to offer goal-setting secrets or ideas he hunted from books. Bill teaches what most gurus teach. Bill spouts clichéd sales sayings like “everything is marketing.” He’ll say buzzwords he learned from a buzzword bible like Simon Sinek’s Start with Why. He’ll offer some sayings he heard on Shark Tank or The Profit. Bill believes those shows resemble real business dealings. (They’re as close to real business dealings as he’ll ever get).

I’ll take the reins here.

Let me guide you from my experience.

I attended dozens of different masterminds. I paid to join masterminds, and I was paid to be the guest expert. I was deep inside this world. I sipped the Kool-Aid. And by all accounts, my copy results made me a “star.” I was in it deep for about eight years before I came to my senses. While these examples are based on my experience, I doubt my experience would be far outside the norm for most masterminds.

Let’s zoom back into Bill’s mastermind one more time.

First, we meet the attendees. Bill gets the usual attendee mix you find at almost every mastermind. I’ve rarely seen anything different than below. It gets to the point where you can spot who’s who when you walk into the room.

Ten people show up to Bill’s .01%ers Inner Circle at the Hard Rock in San Diego.

1. Diet/life-hack person

2. A copywriter (not the guest expert) who wants to start his own business

3. Person clinging to online direct marketing circa 2008

4. Guy or gal with business partner issues

5. Another Bill who just hit a big offer or their offer is now foundering

6. Someone claiming to be the guest expert in a one-upping contest with the actual guest expert; both act above everyone else

7. The “wow this is a firehose of information!” person

8. Someone banned on Google, Facebook, Amazon, Reddit, 4Chan, and the dark web

9. Creepy sex guy or someone incredibly overbearing

10. Nervous direct marketing outsider with a real business

Once everyone sits, Bill reviews the standard mastermind rules. Bill explains that each person gets a one-hour hot seat. He says anything said must be tested and proven. That means that theories, post hoc rationalization, bragging, boasting, platitudes, and wild-eyed ideas rooted to no reality are about to begin.

Regardless of who goes first, the meeting goes off the rails.

Well, off the rails to an outsider; to someone attending—the ideas seem to be cooking.

Everyone starts talking at once.

As soon as some inane PG sexual comment is made, the creepy sex guy is off to the races about his seventh Thai wife and how she’s submissive to his spiritual masculinity traditions. And he goes on and on about his own “orgasm” orgies. He says the word “labia” way too many times.

The diet hack person tells the fittest person in the room that what the fit person eats is unhealthy. The diet hack person also can’t wait for dinner. Why? They love to bring their own bag of food and tell everyone in earshot about their diet (they had a different diet at the last mastermind).

The 2008 guy is shocked that no one wants to pay $4,997 to join his forum coaching program. And he bitches that Clickfunnels, while insanely easier, isn’t necessarily better than his complicated set up for WordPress (or it’s a male seduction niche person still clueless as to why their entire niche went bust soon after Trump got elected).

Then someone puts up a sales page. The guest expert copywriter either calls it shit (it usually is shit), or he says, “You need a bigger more aggressive hook.” Then people bandy about crazy hooks. The nervous outsider will ask, “Is it even legal to say that?” That gets shot down with Bill saying, “The product graveyard is filled with great products that were never marketed!”

The stuck-in-2008 guy starts some copy theories. Soon, 2008 and the guest expert copywriter battle for the craziest hook. Bill gets in on the game by bragging about his mindset while writing his one hit letter. He gets passed over, again.

Bill glares at the guest expert copywriter.

The copywriter, to Bill’s dismay, misses Bill’s glare and goes even more aggressive with copy hooks. Soon, who knows what the hook means or how it relates to the product, but it’s out there. It involves a government conspiracy, aliens, Nazis, two hours of sexual stamina, Hillary Clinton, who really killed JFK, and one lost ancient 2,000-year-old Chinese secret somehow unearthed—all for selling a new greens supplement.

Then the new Bill gets up. We’ll say this Bill’s hit letter has now turned to its downward spiral. Since the copy once performed, the usual theories come up. Test a different button color. Test a new headline. Test a VSL Tower. Test a new voice over. Test $47 instead of $37. The new Bill will try all of these tiny changes. He believes they will revolutionize his sales page. Yes, he, like other attendees, believes changing the button color will somehow turn sales around for good. In about two masterminds, the new Bill will announce his shift into selling success.

Then the first break. The firehose-of-information guy heads to the bathroom. At the urinal, he tells everyone how “knowledge bombs are being thrown. It’s just a firehose of information! I can’t wait to go back and apply all this insight!” He will go on to say that again and again. And, again. He’ll also tell the hostess at dinner why she should join a mastermind and that coaching means success and that not going is an excuse and accepting failure in life.

With each subsequent hot seat, the one-upping, the posturing, and peacocking soars. It becomes a social theater. Even at events where the expert is presenting and the attendees are asking questions, we mainly find a buzzword pitchfest.

No matter which type of mastermind, the people attending offer a bloggable glimpse into their psychology.

On one side, we find awkward social theater. How so? One person always asks, “I’m willing to do whatever you tell me. Where should I start?” It’s an awkward, cultish question. But the person asking, likely, doesn’t worship the guru. It’s generally asked to signal that they will do whatever it takes to become a success in front of everyone else.

And in the same vein, we find pseudo-vulnerability statements or questions. Someone gets up and makes a “personal” statement. This person attributes a massive life-change to the guru. Like, how they just started to lose weight. And they know that, in a year, they will lose 100 more pounds due to the guru’s lessons (in a year, this person still struggles to lose weight). Again, more cult-like behavior, but it all generally signals something.

What’s hip now are edgy guru responses deemed “tough-talk.” But this is wildly narcissistic and demoralizing. Basically, when someone asks their question, they are met with “you’re a fucking loser driven by your excuses.” You’d think people wouldn’t want to ask questions like this to a guru with a colored five-o’clock shadow who will call them a fucking loser. But this environment proves rife to signal and posture for attention. Someone wants to get up and appear as if, “I’m willing to do what it takes, even if it calls out my bullshit.” It’s theater.

Last, someone gets up to moralize that they were once riddled with excuses and their life was in shambles. Then something the guru said turned it all around. It’s a come-up-to-the-microphone-and-one-up-the-room drama.

I’m sure these people mean well. But they miss how sad they’re acting. They also mistake the theater as “digging in and doing the work.”

The only advice we find is growth themed. We can draw out some tangible advice, like some tech or IP updates, and arguably tangible strategies, like basic goal-setting and scheduling your day—all things that you can find in the business section at an airport bookstore (and likely where the guru found them).

Bill hosts his .01%ers mastermind four times a year. Old attendees will drop in, and new ones will join. It basically repeats the above. Now, Bill could keep just that mastermind, but he will be sold, by Russell Brunson and other foxes, that he must sell other events. And Bill will do just that.

Bill, wisely, leverages his mastermind as a way to get comfortable with public speaking and to sell “how to be a high ticket closer” themed products and events. As Bill gets better with his pitch and buys more labels, he may straight sell his mastermind at events. He will speak at other masterminds to sell his mastermind. Like many gurus, the mastermind provides Bill a key tool to his business. As long as Bill keeps at it and some luck favors him (he needs luck because he doesn’t carry the weight a name like John Carlton does), Bill can profit a decent six figures a year from running his masterminds.

Let’s zoom out of Bill’s room.

Let’s look into the unspoken nature of a mastermind.

First, let’s take a gander at the advice.

The mastermind is sold as “next-level” advice—advice so powerful, it’s often considered a secret, a proven strategy, a no-nonsense way to grow your business and personal income. Heck, even marriages claim to have been saved. Also we see it billed with “high-level” connections and networking. As in, you pay to plug yourself into some money-making, self-growth Illuminati.

That promise land?

It always has been, and continues to be, a mirage painted by copywriters. That “next-level” advice has never been tested, backed up, or fact-checked. It’s a massive marketing promise. That promise adheres to narratives people tend to accept as the right way. For instance, as billed on the sales page—or the guru’s relentless repeating on Instagram—it’s all about growth and why coaching is so critical to get growth. You’ll hear sayings like:

• If you’re not growing, your dying!

• Scale your business!

• 10x, 20x, or 30x growth!

• Crush your conversions!

• Build your list!

• Get one million followers!

• Grow your income!

• Triple your revenue!

This all comes from a shopworn map.

The entire pitch aims at selling business growth. And it states that you can’t crank revenue without increasing your conversions. Meaning, this growth advice ties solely to conversion-based growth, not customer-based growth. ²

That plays out with “focus on revenue.” Or in the digital marketing world, focus on things seemingly tied to increasing conversions: headlines, copy, email marketing, funnels, buying credibility labels, daily email marketing, affiliate marketing, social media marketing—anything tied to selling. All of it is tied to increasing conversions to increase revenue.

Revenue matters. I’m not against revenue. Making revenue, attaining success, sharpening skills to capitalize on luck to strike while the iron is hot, matters. Conversions matter. A great product deserves marketing that converts.

What’s wrong with this advice?

“Grow revenue” is the easiest advice to give.³ And most “business experts” only cosmetically know the advice. They bought into it at face value. They never question it. They miss that it says the same thing as the last book they read. Or the last event they attended. Gurus love things that promise growth. They scramble onto YouTube and offer “7 Secrets to Become a Millionaire,” and all the tips—along with constant name-dropping—tend to be goal-setting claptrap or old sales chestnuts about growing.

The advice feels right.

It sounds right.

It’s motivating.

It sounds like winning.

That’s the thing—it’s easy to valorize “growth” advice. We see it as winning. We see growing revenue as a scoreboard. And obviously we want to do well. But we fetishize the result and miss the process. It’s like working out. We want to look svelte, shredded, and muscular now! Well, we can’t skip the process. Yet in business, just like getting a fit body, we’re sold that we can skip the process. And even when a top CEO or billionaire answers the what-does-it-take-to-make-it questions, they answer with clichés. In other words, it sounds like an coach after a big win, “Well I trusted these guys; we worked hard all week.” It’s the easiest thing to say. And it sounds right. But many gurus and their customers only go for that sugar high.

The growth advice distracts from reality. It distracts from mundane details, luck, talent, experimenting, failure, and arduous work.

Now, you can make money this way. Bill makes money. Frank Kern makes a fortune from slinging marketing growth. But the unseen issue is that, like most success gurus, you must attain hit product launches delivering windfalls of cash. And those are rare. Plus, by neglecting to spend time in research and development, the product turns perishable.⁴ The cash dwindles. Soon, you end up chasing new tactics to rekindle revenue. It’s a constant hamster wheel of running after profits, hunting new tactics, and chasing more revenue.

Software pioneer and Silicon Valley Software entrepreneur, Daniel Gross, explains why “growth” advice sounds right, but it’s often the wrong advice. Gross poignantly states, “Growing revenue is the easiest advice to give, not the best advice to give. What you really want is to make the most desired product as quickly as possible. By chasing breadcrumbs of revenue in the short term, you can distract yourself from building something really great in the long term.”⁵

I couldn’t agree more.

Yet in the digital marketing world, marketing advice world, and business success world, all of the lessons focus on those revenue breadcrumbs. The closest we get is to “find your customers’ pain points and then create a product that solves it.” That advice sounds right. But the deliverables are created with sales-page logic and lack an obsession to create a great product. The advice tells you not to follow Halo Top’s two intense years to make their flavors, not good enough, but perfect. Halo Top created a low-calorie ice cream. They practically ignored marketing and focused solely on creating a great product. They broke almost every rule taught by copywriters, sales trainers, and marketing experts. By focusing on product versus marketing, Halo Top became one of the top three selling ice creams in North America before being bought by Wells Enterprises in 2019 (it sits in second place currently).

Whereas in a large corner of digital marketing world, the method is reversed. Gurus and companies simply create something for a product launch.

The result? A chintzy product.

And constant focus on growth weakens their business.

Why?

It entraps them in chasing quick sugar high hits of revenue.

Gurus spout growth advice as if it’s a universal truth. They say it with such conviction that it sounds more true than the law of gravity.

Why?

Why such belief?

Why such repetition of growth?

Two reasons.

Primo, bigger players like Gary Vaynerchuck or Ryan Deiss know that growth advice sells. They also know it entertains. They shape and craft a stage persona that best sells this shtick. For instance, Ryan Deiss crafted a polished, friendly, and dorky persona. He does this to make it look like he’s an honest marketer who likes helping businesses. Or consider Russell Brunson. He uses self-deprecation, nerdiness, and humor. Others try an edgy tough-talk persona.

Most gurus craft calculated stage personae. Many get constant coaching on the persona. And sometimes they (usually prop gurus or entertainers like Lewis Howes or Tony Robbins) get claptrap from their teams. As in, an entire team feeds them the formula, and they get out on stage and deliver it. It’s all part of the persona.

And they know they need to give easy and motivating advice. Why? It sells the dream and makes sales.

No doubt, speaking on stage or being the personality helps them get their steps down. Not many can get on stage and just wing it, and they don’t want to bore the audience either. So gurus are doing the right thing by learning how to be a better presenter, whether in a large room or a mastermind.

But with most gurus, the persona quickly becomes the only thing they know. Many believe they are the persona. They posture as someone who lacks insecurities, except forced pseudo-vulnerability displays. The guru took that “vulnerability” from their selling playbook. It looks like a hero’s journey, “Hey, I was nothing. I faced difficulties, and I still struggle sometimes. But if I can do it, you can too!” It’s meant to build believability in their product. Again, it delivers the audience a sugar high and hyper-focuses on conversions.

Lower level gurus like Bedros Keuilian, Dan Lok, or Jeremy Haynes sadly live on these placebo motivational sayings. They sell the sugar highs, and they use those claptrap sayings as their moral philosophy. It’s their religion. It provides their guiding principles. It’s also as far as they can think. When you see Bedros post on Twitter…

…you see the limit of his depth. That’s as far as Bedros can think. It’s as original as he can get.

That tweet shows the extent of what most gurus know. They make millionaires and billionaires into unicorn beings who never once hit a snooze button and are constantly dominating their day.

It’s a distraction.

Most “business experts” sell distraction. They sell pseudo-work. Even gurus misunderstand the advice they give. And they anxiously focus too much on the habits, routines, and buzzwords.

Why?

They too believe that the wealthy focus on those things. And they think these rigid routines provide a personal life philosophy. But they miss the fact that constantly focusing on morning routines and conversion-based tactics cripples their personal agency. Most gurus lack the erudition, insight, integrity, humility, and most of all, street smarts to recognize the flimsiness behind the advice. Gurus also live off of the sugar-high sayings.

Here’s what gurus, and those who buy into their lessons, miss: it’s just a constant narrative fallacy. They think some rigid routine is the reason for success. They buy into the secrets. They mistake the secrets as the work. It’s all these guys know.

Again, they believe that millionaires or billionaires live as unicorn beings. And if they too can get that secret, they can be a unicorn being. It’s why many gurus and people who pay Tony Robbins hundreds of thousands of dollars are incredibly anxious people. It’s much easier to distract themselves by buying another mastermind than to ponder a product or method that pioneers something. It’s avoiding work. And they lack a pioneering spirit because they handed over personal agency. Instead of facing a task, they think they need another weekend mastermind to dial in their goals.

The mastermind roots itself to the sugar-high growth-based advice. I argue that because of the status-posturing and social theater that makes up these meetings, the growth-themed advice offers attendees the easiest information to give without sounding wrong and the easiest way to sound smart.

Why do growth-themed masterminds prove useless?

Let’s dig into why the extreme ends of this advice live in masterminds and then show why the advice proves useless.

We valorize winners. We valorize success. We like results. We know a result tends to come from effort. But we over-focus on the win. If we see someone winning a ton—in a profession, sports, or elsewhere—we like to know why. We want to understand, learn, or capture the secret.

Humans are pattern seeking machines. This helps us survive. Yet we often focus too much on possible reasons and causes:

• It’s because of the routine!

• It’s because all marketing is good marketing!

• It’s because he has discipline, and he gets discipline by waking up early!

• It’s because a positive mindset leads to success!

We look to the cause. What caused her success? What caused that sales letter to convert? What caused them to become a billionaire? We start seeking those causes.

We want the secret cause. We want to optimize that cause. Maybe it was goal-setting. Maybe it was hand-copying 1,000 sales letters. Maybe it was 10,000 hours of studying marketing books. Maybe it was because they woke up early, meditated, cold-showered, set goals, journaled, and believed in themselves!

The more we look for these causes, the more we fall prey to what’s called: The Narrative Fallacy. As defined by Nassim Taleb, it’s our need to fit a story or pattern to a series of connected or disconnected facts.⁷

I think it also ties to Taleb’s Narrative Discipline: the discipline that consists in fitting a well-sounding story to the past, which is opposed to experimental discipline. Experimental discipline encompasses trial and error. Often, there is no playbook here. Sure, some guidelines work, but this is really about trying new things and gathering data. This is done from small personal levels to big corporate levels. Maybe you get mentored, but most of what you do is on your own. As in, you discover your secrets.

In the success selling world, most people focus on Narrative Discipline. Instead of taking a risk on something and testing it to see if it works, people look at the result and try to create a story to explain the cause.

With marketing and growing revenue, it’s easy for a marketing nerd to theorize what caused the sales. We think it’s the headline. We think it’s the funnel. We think it’s the copy. We think it’s the hook. We then go further and say things like “everything is marketing.” Or “The product graveyard is filled with great products that were never marketed.”

Where, by the way, is this product graveyard? Can anyone empirically show it to me? I mean, it sounds like all it needs is for that incredible marketer to go to this graveyard, grab a great product, and sell it. It’s a literal goldmine.

Before I lose track, let’s return to the Narrative Fallacy.

With business success and personal success, we like reasons. We want the secrets. We want to know what caused that success or that personal shift. We think it’s the positive mindset. We think it’s reading hacks to hunt “core” ideas that will boost our business. We think it’s information, knowledge, goal-setting, or routine. We want to capture the secret and see how we do using it.

If we hunt causes, we see sequences.

For instance, we think a certain morning routine can be attributed to someone’s success. We see a sequence. A caused B. Or B caused A. But often, we postulate theories as to why A caused B. We believe that sequence somehow fueled the result. When, truly, we don’t know if A actually caused B. Maybe it helped, but we don’t really know. This is called epiphenomena. We look for particular causes, and we may actually be missing the bigger picture. Gurus bet on you missing the bigger picture.

For instance, hand-copying famous sales letters offers a sound exercise to learn how to write copy. It helps practice a particular skill. It can help you recall various phrases. I myself hand-copied sales letters daily, without a missing a day, for over six years. But does it make you into a great copywriter? Who knows? In a way, it makes you an apprentice to the great copywriters. But it’s an exercise. It’s not the sole reason. In my experience, the best copywriters had belly-to-belly sales experience. They sold in person, and they were pretty good at it. It’s possible that, by hand-copying sales letters, they learned how to get their belly-to-belly experience on paper. But Claude Hopkins never hand-copied famous sales letters. Neither did other greats. Some did; some didn’t. It’s an exercise, not a reason for success.

In masterminds, the attendees tend to be a group who hyper-focus on causes. Again, these causes are seen as reasons for success. For example, let’s say someone in a mastermind is playing some beach volleyball. A mastermind person will look up “Gabrielle Reece’s pre-game Volleyball Diet from 1999.” They think this will help them, when they truly have no idea. They would learn more by playing, not looking up some obscure secret. Gabrielle Reece’s diet may have helped her, but it wasn’t her reason for success. Masterminds, and the success world, tend to hyper-focus on reasons rather than actions.

Mastermind attendees also mistake the mastermind-busyness as a path to success. Consider how the room is made up of self-interested people. An attendee may want something specific from the mastermind, but they go into a room full of people who are completely oblivious to their business. The ideas shared are often un-applicable, or they would take months, or even years, to implement. And the theories are tied to growth-based advice.

Last, masterminds display an extreme social theater. We see all types of status-posturing, peacocking, and one-upmanship. Inside the room, many think they’re getting a firehose of information. Though these are just theories; they’re not tied directly to your work. And they give growth-based advice that anyone can say about anything. Sure, an attendee may get an idea or two. But paying that amount of money, traveling, taking that amount of time away from your business—is one big distraction.

What about those big ideas that are being thrown around? Don’t they boost success?

We have zero empirical data to validate whether a mastermind fuels success. The one positive aspect lies in the people who attend. Despite paying for a distraction, they are driven to succeed. They will keep testing, marketing, and trying things. Naturally, out of that group, a few people will succeed. Let’s not forget, they could afford to join. But they found a level of success before the mastermind, and they will keep swinging at triumph.

Let’s look on a more granular level.

With copywriting, a good copywriter can intuit why something converted. But it isn’t an exact science. Naturally certain persuasion methods work. But if persuasion were an exact science, it would work every time. It doesn’t. Some things work better than others. And what worked at one time might flop another. In other words, what worked for one attendee may not work for any other attendee. And the copy dissected in masterminds tends to be limited in scope. We often find hyper-salesy pages following a dogmatic formula sold by “copy experts” or purchased from Jon Benson or Russel Brunson. This is inside-the-box thinking.

Next, look at those who sell success. We find people who fetishize success and signal their social insecurities. Just like our Bill.

His main insecurity?

A guru complex.

Or needing to prove to someone that he is worthy.

Let’s unpack this.

Many gurus failed in their previous niche. They weren’t a big player. They never made the varsity squad. They were more like the hustling kid who lacked talent, but because he worked so hard to cover up his deficiencies, he garnered respect while riding the bench on thirds. But this hustling kid felt slighted. Just like Bill, he constantly studies routines. He eats better than Lebron James. He shows up to a 1 p.m. practice at 4 a.m. This is not to say talented people don’t work hard. They do, but they aren’t focused on the routine. They aren’t focused on the secrets. They tinker, experiment, show up, and continue to work hard. The routine and the habits are often a by-product.

Business gurus tend to look at successful people and then create theories about why that person is successful. And they confuse the routines and goal-setting for being busy and for “doing the work.” They theorize about what they hope success entails based on their own confirmation biases. Then, they sell people those theories. They go on and on explaining that all the greats had coaches. They miss the fact that the coaches often sought the greats out. Kareem Abdul Jabaar didn’t pay to get coached by Jon Wooden. And Warren Buffet’s work opened the door for his mentors to seek him out. Warren didn’t pay Norman Vincent Peale.

Mentors help. Coaches help. But most people who succeed do so on their own self-erudition. Sure, sometimes, paying for a mentorship can help. But, often, the most successful people did it without paying to be a part of something. The success world that markets both professional and personal success distracts people with noise and sensational theories.

Still, a mastermind is well intentioned.

If an expert were to host an intimate event, they would want to be paid for their time. Also, by charging for the event, they qualify those who want to hear or see the expert. To the expert, they get make-the-grade customers. To the customers, because the expert charges, they know the expert cherishes their time.

And a mastermind can offer some good insights. Someone might pick up a few best practices for their business. They may learn how a new software can smooth an arduous process. Or, they may learn that a new hot software isn’t that great. But something like this ties itself to a group sharing a common goal. Perhaps the goal is as simple as discussing a new software. But most “success” masterminds are aimed at self-interest. The shared goal is nonexistent.

Sales messages that tout masterminds promise massive business success. The guru or the sales letter boast that they’ve coached millionaires, changed lives, grew businesses, and cranked people’s personal income. They also show video testimonials of people who were wowed by the networking and actionable strategies. Often, those people predict future projections, “My business’s income will triple easily with just one idea I learned here.”

But those claims, promises, and future projections, again, have not been validated. The idea that someone doubled their income as the result of a mastermind has never been validated. It’s a theory. It’s a claim.

Based on my experience in consulting copy for these events, often the claims are sensational hype. If you look at a sales page for a guru’s mastermind, the testimonials remain the same, year in and year out. We don’t think to ask, “What happened to this ‘millionaire’ who said this one idea would for sure triple their income?” And in the mastermind, or after the mastermind, no one pulls out financial records. No one looks at profit and loss statements. No one looks at the aftereffect. All the big numbers are just a big brag fest. No one measures the mastermind’s financial effectiveness.

But a meeting’s effectiveness has been studied.

And a mastermind—an Inner Circle—is a meeting. It’s a meeting people pay to attend. Most people cringe at attending meetings, yet people chasing success love paying thousands of dollars to attend meetings. That should give you a hint about the kind of people who go to masterminds.

Again a mastermind is a meeting.

A paid meeting.

We endure a general business meeting as a necessary evil. In some meetings, the manager wants to sound like a leader, so they say some rousing things, or try to. Or the manager loves lecturing; they like hearing themselves speak. It’s ok. They’re trying to lead. We endure these meetings. At other times, and maybe mixed into the lecture, we get the aims, goals, and updates on the business. Some root into serious issues, like tension, financial troubles, or tasking a group with a new project.

Whether it’s the useless lecture meeting or digging into issues, a meeting is intended to make the company successful. More or less, people are on the same page.

For instance, in the car business, we required meetings. They gave critical updates. They gave an overview of the terrain. We saw what cars were for sale. We saw what promotions were ending. Once we got this general information, off we went. In other meetings, more intimate ones, we laid bare the financials. We saw exactly where we were, who was struggling, who was winning, and then acted. Although some meetings may do little, at least we get a scoreboard update.

But in general, a business meeting’s effectiveness proves flimsy. It’s quite difficult to run a productive meeting. No matter the tactics or methods, they still struggle.

One core reason: a personal agenda. In a normal business meeting, generally one person thinks it was great. They believe they are one of the rare few who runs a great meeting. It’s like the psychological trick where we all think that we’re better drivers than we are. The person who thought they killed with that meeting is often the person who talks the most. This can be the manager or meeting host, but it’s usually the one person who dominated the conversation.

Why?

Because their agenda, their self-interests, were on the table. And nothing quite seduces our egos like commanding a room. Our personal agenda and self-interests take the main stage, and we run with it. This isn’t always bad, but it leads to issues in a meeting format.

A paid mastermind offers the worst side of meetings.

A dominant voice fosters a social theater. People begin clamoring for the spotlight, to sound right, or to sound on board, fueling more social theater. And this fuels the dominant speaker. They talk and talk and boast—and nothing’s really said. Sure some big ideas sound great. But it’s often a pep rally.

Consider how a mastermind is sold: it’s all about your wild success. The copy—the marketing—is all designed to speak to one person. And the promises and positioning themes around your growth, success, and income are—you, you, you. That sales page, with its catchy messaging, doesn’t just go to you. It goes to hundreds, and often thousands of people, each reading it as if it speaks to them.

That message makes masterminds fall prey to what I call, The Mastermind Blindspot.

Here’s how that works.

Let’s say the page converts fifteen people, you included. You were promised growth in some fashion.

You and fourteen others show up to the mastermind. But you, and everyone else, thinks—me, me, me, me. Rightfully so. You paid $20,000 to join. You’re absolutely right in thinking of yourself. You spent a lot to get insights promising your growth. But you’re in a room with fourteen people, each with selfish aims. No one in the meeting truly knows your business. And for $20,000, no one cares about your success. (Just like you don’t fork up $20,000 to focus on someone else’s business success.)

And even the guru has selfish aims. The guru may teach, but the guru obsesses on their returns. They want a high conversion rate, so they can brag to the people who paid that they get conversion on “high-ticket” items. They want your sterling testimonial, so they can use its selling potential. The guru uses whatever they can to make their mastermind look successful. As in, your data is a selling point that the guru uses on you.

Take a side trip with me. Here’s a mastermind parlor trick: mastermind hosts learn to go for a testimonial instantly. They ask you to rate the event right in front of everyone—and to do so on video. The video is even sold as your own highlight reel.

Why pressure someone into this testimonial?

It’s an old and aggressive sales trick. Put someone on the spot instantly after an event where they were overwhelmed with information. Why? We’re psychologically vulnerable here. Despite what we tell ourselves, when we’re put on the spot, we’re far less likely—especially after spending $20,000 on an event—to tell the host it fucking sucked. We deal with sunken cost and ego investment. We made a big and expensive decision, and we justify the decision to ourselves and others. A smart host knows this truth. A cardboard host like Craig Ballantyne blindly follows the tactic. Regardless, both hammer you for the testimonial.

The mastermind sells to pure self-interest. It makes sense. Selling a mastermind would be far more difficult if the sales page said, “For $20,000 you can offer advice to other people.” If you pay $20,000, the last thing you want is to solely focus on giving a random copywriter solutions. You want your solutions. And an hour hot seat? In just one hour, fifteen self-interested people aren’t going to understand your ten-year struggle with your business. They aren’t there day to day. They don’t know your financials. They aren’t concerning themselves with your business. That hot seat you paid for will only get you growth-themed nuggets, theories, and boasts.

While the advice may be well-meaning, it’s a short-lived high.⁸ The same goes for event style masterminds. The “expert” you paid to listen to isn’t giving advice geared to your business. In fact, he isn’t really giving good general guidelines. You’ll get the easiest and most motivating advice on the market—growth-themed advice.

It’s social theater. Inside this theater, personal agendas create a common dynamic.

Rebel Idea author and group dynamics expert, Matthew Syed, explains how meetings, especially with self-interested people, morph into people saying what others want to hear.⁹ Often, this leads to you saying what you want to hear.

Masterminds prove Syed’s point to the extreme. People pay to attend a meeting to hear what they want to hear. Masterminds attract people desiring success and wanting growth. Most attendees pay to hear how they can grab success. They pay for an “atta boy!” that comes packaged in various ways:

• You’re a fucking loser if you hit your snooze button.

• Emotions and fears are liars. If you’re scared of something, you must do that thing!

• I feel your pain; starting is tough.

• You can do it; you got this!

• What are you waiting for?

• You are the story you tell yourself.

The thread further unravels.

A mastermind focuses on self-interests. They’re sold with phrases like “like-minded hustlers” and “30x your income.” That fosters the Filter Bubble effect: people attend to get their beliefs confirmed. Beliefs like: “I need a bigger copy hook!” “My partner is in the wrong! I’m in the right!” “I’ll be successful because I surround myself with successful people!”

This ties to another point Matthew Syed makes in Rebel Ideas. Syed explains that homogeneous groups tend to create an echo-chamber of ideas. As in, the meeting lacks the diversity needed to create insight. You might argue that a paid mastermind comprises a group of diverse people. But it’s not as diverse as you think. The marketing heavily hammers “like-minded entrepreneurs to help grow your business.” It waves a flag for people wanting success. Each person attends in hopes of getting personal secrets to success while also wanting to show their success, or rather, their belonging in the group.

That creates The Dominance Hierarchy.¹⁰ The Dominance Hierarchy is when one dominant voice emerges, and others parrot the leader. This hierarchy hugely taxes meetings, particularly, meetings lush for echo-chambers. The meeting becomes peacocked noise—and a lot of it. Syed further explains why certain teams or groups can either thrive or fall apart. He found that a diverse group sharing a collective goal does far better than a like-minded group where people have self-interested goals.

In the latter, personal agendas pop up, leading to one voice dominating. And sometimes, if a recognized hierarchy exists, like a boss or “expert” or someone with sales letter fame, others parrot the leader’s ideas, no matter how bad the idea. People will start agreeing and adding similar ideas to what’s being said. And no matter the hierarchy, one or two voices in a meeting will dominate. They even battle to dominate. No matter who emerges as leader, people are usually repeating or fueling one idea.

Let’s return to my personal experience.

I have a bad habit. I can conversation hijack. Perhaps I’m a conversation narcissist. Who knows? After I attained a certain level in copywriting, I walked into meetings knowing my sales numbers outperformed anyone else’s in the room. I felt compelled to pour out my copy theories. When my copy played in the big leagues with millions of dollars a month on ad spend—a spend others dreamt about—I knew I commanded serious skin in the marketing game.

So, when I met a copywriter who wrote copy for only affiliate offers, and maybe an ad spend of $10,000 a month, I got snobby. I got self-righteous. And I knew enough from my car dealing days, when I used to be a General Sales Manager, that I could start selling the room on an idea. Now, I had no clue about the other person’s business. Sure, in sales, I developed an intuition concerning what may work better. Though, during those hot seats, I wasn’t asking questions. Maybe a few, but I went off the rails. If someone competed, I didn’t quite listen to their idea. I snobbishly judged and then went bigger on the hook. I was that asshole. The information I exchanged served my beliefs, not the others in the room.

Tyler Cowen notes that meetings are not always about the efficient exchange of information or discovering a new idea. As he states, “Meetings can be about displays of power, signaling that a coalition is in place, wearing down an opponent, staging ‘theater’ to make someone feel better, giving key players the feeling of being insiders, transmitting information about status, or simply marking time until something better happens. It’s one thing to hate meetings. But before you can improve them, make sure you know what meetings are all about.”¹¹

Masterminds give us a theater for mental masturbation. We have no idea if the ideas said will work. In reality, most ideas shared would take months or more to implement. And, also, consider the costs. For instance, someone almost always shows up with partner issues. Aside from the standard, “Have you tried talking to them?” it then goes into braggadocio tough-talk. Eventually, a few masterminds later, that person ended the relationship and the legal cost proved enormous. Then the person, and I’ve seen this countless times, looks defeated, tired, and despite all the secrets, doesn’t know how to move forward. They don’t have a product. They often lacked a product to begin with. They are stretched thin from paying for masterminds. That person fades out, lost to the wind, lost to the old hit offer graveyard.

And another cost, often overlooked under the guise of paying for coaching, is your cost. You need to get out of your normal work routine. You pay a lot of money to disrupt what it is you do. You need to leave your work environment. You sit in a room for two to three days. You get blasted with theories, motivation, and “secrets.” You’re not getting paid to be in that room. And when you return home, often exhausted, it takes time to get back into the routine. Maybe you write out all the ideas, but where do you start? How will it work? Your routine, what you were working on before, has been disrupted.

I also argue that a mastermind disrupts your confidence. Consider how Bill, or another, positions the mastermind to you. You get to learn from “masters” or “titans” or “rebels.” Automatically, a hierarchy exists. And many masterminds offer the faux-qualification form, “We’ll see if we allow you in.” Granted, if I ever host an event, I’d like to chat with each person. I’d want the right fit and the right vibe. Yet I wouldn’t want people to be put on their knees. Masterminds profess a holier-than-thou element. An expert proclaims they hold the keys to your kingdom. The expert proclaims other master entrepreneurs are in the group. Somehow this thing, this group, holds something for you that allows you to raise yourself higher. I find this odd. Most success coaches yammer on why you should quit the nine-to-five and be your own boss. Yet the entire “pay for coaching” puts you right back into a status game. You pay to go higher in your career. You subordinate yourself. You bend your knee to be in a group.

It’s sound to seek wisdom. It’s wise to learn your business inside and out. But often what works best is tinkering, experimenting, and doing it at a small financial cost—a less-is-more approach. This doesn’t mean don’t market. It means learning first hand. It means personally discovering what works and what doesn’t. At first, Jeff Bezos didn’t try selling everything under the galaxy as he does now. He sold books.

The many CEOs and entrepreneurs that success gurus rave about got where they are by tinkering. And ALL did it without paying any attention to people like Dan Pena, Tony Robbins, or Grant Cardone. Granted, it looks like Ryan Deiss or Russell Brunson attended the events and masterminds. And they did, but not in the way someone like Craig Ballantyne thinks. The Deisses and the Brunsons followed Dan Kennedy’s advice—look to how the money is made at the event. They didn’t primarily go for lessons; they went to see behind the shtick. They saw the magic trick and then went out and played a sucker to catch a sucker. They bought courses, not to learn from them, but to see how they were created. They figured out how to sell the idea. And how to sell it to the right people—people who wanted to know how to sell to others and get rich. Guys like Ryan Deiss and Russell Brunson profit wildly from those who romanticize entrepreneurship. And to those who believe in secrets, growth tactics, and that success requires buying something. They sell well to those who focus on the object and not the subject.

In sum, not all masterminds are bullshit, but most are. When one seduces you, consider these questions:

• What insight do I think others will give me?

• Why am I really going?

• How come I believe I can’t figure this out by myself?

• What will the other people who attend hope to gain?

• How many people attending will remove their self-interests and focus only on my business?

• Am I willing to pay this fee to throw my interests aside and solely focus on another’s success?

Most masterminds are built on murky foundations. Most “experts” buy their credibility. They are in the mastermind business, and a mastermind feeds self-interested returns. A business answer someone seeks often doesn’t hide behind a massive paywall. Warren Buffett didn’t triple his income attending paid masterminds. And mentors exist without needing the label “life coach” or “honest income coach.” Show me one billionaire who paid an “income” coach to take them to the next level—especially a guru who made their success by selling success.

In the end, is a paid mastermind worth it?

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mastermind_group ↩

2. https://dcgross.com/refinement-revenue/ ↩

3. https://dcgross.com/refinement-revenue/ ↩

4. How the Best Marketing Tactics Can Destroy a Business ↩

5. https://dcgross.com/refinement-revenue// ↩

6. https://twitter.com/BedrosKeuilian/status/1262774063035891712

7. Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Black Swan,2nd ed. (Penguin Publishing), 62-84. ↩

8. https://www.forbes.com/sites/peterhigh/2019/11/25/half-of-all-meetings-are-a-waste-of-timeheres-how-to-improve-them/#241963582ea9 ↩

9. https://twitter.com/matthewsyed/status/1173863922044211200

10. ↩

11. Dominance Hierarchy. Dominance Hierarchy issues Rebel Ideas, Hatchette Company 2019 pg 92-96 ↩

12. https://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2004/01/how_to_improve_.html ↩

Let’s unpack gurus advice, and look into why, once again, they lack any clue to what they say.

An online marketing funnel recap.

Let’s say you sell some products online.

1. Initial Product: “Why Listening To Online Business Experts Ruins Your Business.” Once someone buys and clicks the buy button, the next page they see…

2. Upsell Product: “Why Some Online Gurus Insist On Donning the I’m-Trying-Way-Too Hard-To-Look-Like-A-Bad-Boy Five O-Clock Shadow-Beard.” If they buy that, when they click the buy button, the next page they see…

3. Upsell Product: “Why Do Lifestyle Coaches Insist On Implying You’re Lazy If You Don’t Come Out Of COVID with New Skills And Better Knowledge.”

You can add on and sell as many products as you want. Remember those old TV commercials selling Greatest Hair Metal Ballads? When you called the number to buy, it was an endless upsell scheme.

Not all funnels act as aggressively. For instance, when you sign up to a blogger’s page using your email address, that’s considered a funnel. The “funnel” notion overstates a basic idea — offering another product to an interested customer. I’m confident that a few thousand years ago, this exchange happened, “Hey, I know you came to me for figs, but we have this thing out back that crushes figs into a juice. Want to check it out?” And likely the merchant did it without using painfully numb Dale Carnegie tactics.

I find nothing wrong with sales funnels. A funnel serves as a useful tool, a useful option, to sell various products. It can be as simple as asking, “would you like fries with that?” — or it can be as complex as selling a vast catalog of products. But that funnel isn’t its own business; it’s here where gurus display stupidity.

The stupidity?

A guru believes each funnel they run exists as its own business. And the stupidity continues. Like shown above, a standard guru funnel sells at least three products. So the guru not only thinks the funnel exists as a business, but also thinks each product sold inside that funnel exists as its own business. As in, one funnel offers three products:

1. How To Make $10,00 A Month At Home On The Side — $97

2. Instagram Hero: The Barely Legal Secrets Kylie Jenner Uses To Make Billions on Instagram — $197

3. Copywriting Certification Course: Get The One Income Skill Guaranteed To Make You Millionaire Inside Of 90 Days — $1997

We see one funnel selling three different products; the guru sees the funnel as a business. And the guru sees each product sold in that funnel as its own business.

If you do Guru Math:

• Funnel + Three products = Owning four businesses!

Plus, gurus love to say, “be in the business of yourself.” So, in reality, that’s five businesses! But wait a second. Each Instagram post probably works like a business, so that means… an empire bigger than Warren Buffet and Jeff Bezos combined!

That’s how gurus view their world. Gurus can’t see beyond digital funnels. It’s likely the only way they know how to make money. And despite all the money-making secrets gurus claim to know, most buy packaged etch-a-sketch funnels. They buy them from someone like Russell Brunson over at Clickfunnels. Others use a “Book In A Box” marketing company like LionCrest. And you can even start your own supplement empire using RockTomic. RockTomic not only offers the placebo powders, but they also offer pre-made plug-and-sell funnels. In other words, most gurus expertise claims — it’d be like someone claiming how muscular they are, and knowing how to pack on muscle… but they merely bought and sport a shirt like this:

¹

But gurus love thinking how any cool-sounding business idea ties to their business. So if they think something is cool, they then act as if they know its secrets. A guru heard or read Multiple Streams of Income somewhere. Gurus love cherry-picking ideas, and the Multiple Streams of Income idea excites gurus. Why? It sounds so grand. It fits a guru’s need to be recognized as smart. A guru thinks Multiple Streams of Income is something Warren Buffet might say. So the guru can’t wait to blurt the idea on their Instagram: “Hey Business Owners hurt by COVID — now’s the time to have Multiple Streams of Income.” While they say it, and they think it sounds cool and they believe they possess it — they miss what it means.

Consider fishing.

Let’s make the Good Word’s fictional guru character, Bill, a commercial fisherman.

Bill takes his boat out. He starts with a net to catch fish. Bill tries to catch as many fish as he can with the net. Bill wants more fish. So he buys rods, different baits, different lures, and tries to catch more fish — all off of one boat.

This sketches how “coaches” like Craig Ballantyne and Jason Capital and Garrett White run their self-promotion business. They use various funnels trying to catch fish onto their boat. They only own one boat.

And that’s fine. It’s smart to use a few tools to sell various products. It may make your business more robust, it may qualify the right customers. But you realize the fishing rods, lures, and nets work as various ways to catch fish. As in, you know each fishing rod isn’t its own business. Rather, it’s a tool you use to catch fish.

Here’s what gurus miss regarding “Multiple Streams of Income.”

Let’s say you’re in the fishing business.

• You not only own a boat, but you also own a fleet of commercial boats that catch fish.

• You also own three fish stores selling your fish, and other fishermen’s fish.

• You partnered with the harbor and run boat repairs fixing commercial and recreational boats.

• You invested in a company researching sustainable fishing nets.

• You partnered with a craft boat shop repairing, restoring, and selling vintage Chris Craft boats.

• You invested in three fish taco food trucks with a chef who lost his business during Corona.

• You own the real estate where your fish store, and other stores next to it, is located.

Each entity you own — stands on its own. That’s multiple streams of income. That’s multiple streams of revenue. Each entity is its own business providing, products, income, and jobs.

Now, gurus think, see,and believe their multiple fishing rods mirrors your fishing business example. They completely miss how they don’t run anything remotely similar to it. In short, most gurus lack business experience or expertise outside of their swiped funnels.

But let’s peel a few layers deeper. I’ll take you into a guru’s office to show you their core business.

Somewhere in that office, on a whiteboard, a guru’s assistant or Project Manager (gurus insist you hire assistants to free you up so you can leverage your high-income skills!) will write out the guru’s current sales funnels.

Funnel A: The Free plus Shipping Book Offer.

• Yes (means person bought), Upsell: “Millionaire Mindset Goal Setting” $97.

  • Yes (means yes to buying above): Sell Inner Circle Club $197 a month.

  • No (did not buy Millionaire Mindset): Sell Copywriting Certification Course $177.

• Yes OR No to upsell. Sell Ticket to Summit Peak Event $1,997.

Translated: Regardless of what you buy or don’t buy above, you’re on a guru’s email list. That guru then endlessly promotes their “High Ticket Event.” That could be a Mastermind (Inner Circle, Platinum Club, 50K/100k/500k Training, Comma Club, etc.) or Event (Summit Peak, Warrior Summit, Traffic Summit, Underground Summit) or possible consulting. The courses sold after the pseudo-book? The umpteen-told stuff we covered: copywriting courses, millionaire mindset courses, start your own online empire courses, etc..

Funnel B: Push Funnel A on Instagram.

Funnel C: Email campaign or affiliate marketing campaign, sending to “Instagram Hero.” Upsells for this funnel, Power Speaking, How To Close High Ticket Sales, Comma Club Monthly Membership.

Funnel D:Event funnel. Sell “1% Mastermind” and offer the Copywriting Course and Millionaire Mindset Course at the back of the room.

Translated: These events us copywriters, and that guru looking to “empower” you, call them cattle calls.

A cattle call?

Let’s unpack that a little, because cattle calls serve a critical role to gurus.

A cattle call acts as a standard “event.” The easy way to spot a cattle call — it’s called a “Summit.” And, if the guru claims he will spill secrets he won’t ever say again. Also, if he features “Guest Experts” who will supposedly blow you away with “never released before strategies.”

Now, each stage presentation, generally, a copywriter crafts the pitch — the gurus “lessons.” The copywriter tosses in the standard stuff:

• Hitting the snooze button is for losers.

• Action alleviates anxiety.

• All attention is good attention.

• Leverage your high-income skills.

• Elevate your status.

• Less is more.

• Control your narrative.

• Leapfrog to expert status.

• 3/5/7 High Income Skills (Selling, Speaking, Copywriting, Elevating Status, Leadership, Balance, Mindset)

• To be a successful leader – both in business and in life – your values, goals, and vision must be in alignment.

Then at the end, you’ll hear the call to action. It uses shopworn phrases:

• action-takers

• those ready to level-up

• ready to scale and grow

• turn your vision into reality

• turn your dream into your income

• escape the rat race with lap-top income

• own your destiny

• dominate your niche

The guru hopes their pitch drives people to the back of the room, like cattle, to buy products. The lessons are crafted, tested, and often coached by a speaking expert.

And the lessons are designed as “open-loops.” A persuasion tactic that supposedly raises curiosity so you desire a solution. Then the call-to-action is where you can resolve your curiosity. The guru tries to make a “closed-loop” a result of you buying the product so you can “close the loop.” Which means, the product alone can’t sell itself, the guru needs tactics in hopes you buy.

Funnel E: I’ll translate it now. Like Funnel D, but it’s selling at the mastermind or “Comma Club/Inner Circle/Platinum/1%ers.” There the guru sells their more exclusive mastermind or “.01% club,” another event, a co-hosted event, or maybe one-on-one “consulting” or “coaching” or the double-secret “high-ticket sellers mastermind.”

And that’s it.

That paints most gurus businesses: an endless self-promotional upsell scheme.

And the products?

Most are designed with that open-loop tactic, so you hopefully buy more products. The lessons tend to be hollow, often googled, or recycled from courses the guru previously purchased.

A credible expert may use similar selling methods, but a credible expert teaches concrete lessons. They aren’t dependent on selling and selling and selling. And, likely, you won’t find a credible expert associated with pitchfest gurus. And, more likely, a credible expert doesn’t require endless self-promotion. Why? One, their business model isn’t an endless upsell scheme. Two, they’re too busy working on their real business. And three, their product and results speak for themselves.

Another important aspect to consider with gurus.

It’s rare to see a guru own, partner, or invest in a business outside of their self-promotion. Very rare. Extremely rare. As rare as a “success coach” saying something original. At most, a guru still runs old funnels from their old niche. Like, if they started in Seduction, or Weight Loss, or Manifestation.

Gurus, like “Business Coach” Craig Ballantyne, mean well when rehashing multiple streams of income advice.²And like most gurus, he colors multiple income streams as a blanket method. Let’s be clear: not every business, entrepreneur, or contract worker requires multiple revenue streams. But a guru like Ballantyne believes he commands multiple streams of income; he believes it’s a great idea to spout. He mistakes his multiple marketing funnels selling recycled advice he copied from a Google search, Ted Talk, or a hollow business book like Traction, equates a business empire. Ballantyne mistakes his Free Plus Shipping Offer funnel, selling his book (a book he paid LionCrest Publishing to create and sell — in short he bought himself a funnel and a “best-selling” label), exists as separate businesses than his Perfect Day Formula Workshops. He likes to think he’s like Warren Buffet investing in multiple businesses.

But he isn’t. Craig Ballantyne merely runs an endless upsell scheme.

He isn’t closing Venture Capital deals. He isn’t invested in Silicon Valley technology. Craig, unlike Russell Brunson, doesn’t run a Clickfunnels. He isn’t commanding media buying deals for direct marketers or retail businesses. He isn’t running a Clickbank Platform. Instead, he’s promoting himself and preaching ideas he doesn’t understand. Should you be taking business advice from a “business coach” who misunderstands what he teaches?

Let’s finish looking at how the guru’s multiple income stream advice turns costly.

I’ll save you thousands of dollars. I’ll reveal the Guru Business Formula. Though, likely, and like most things, gurus lack the street smarts or book smarts to know their own formula.

• (Inflated Self-Promotion + Marketing Funnels) x Conversions = Self-Promotional Returns

That formula also requires you to discard creating a quality product; in fact, the product is marketing. And the marketing tactics gurus want you to use — costs big bucks to create. Worse, and likely, the tactics may damage your business.³

One, “business experts” mistake “spending money to make money” as a rule. They think investing in marketing doubles or triples returns — every time. But ask most gurus about overhead cost and it’s like you asked them to divide negative binary code sequences. They miss how marketing can rapidly mutate into a gambling addiction.

Why?

Gurus fall victim to their “positive mindset” thinking. They mistake their rare wins as a possibility to win every time. Like gambling addicts, they only boast the positive, never the negative. And if you read my first Bill article, you then know how building marketing funnels can quickly morph into a money pit. Right now, launching funnels to keep your business afloat during COVID — I wouldn’t suggest it.

Two, gurus run on a “product launch” treadmill. Which means they live product launch to product launch. They ignore the financial and emotional costs. And they ignore how exhausting it is to keep launching product after product after product. And, again, they ignore how each product launch takes enormous time and money to create.

And what’s often not said — most product launches fail. Most gurus, maybe all, fall prey to Guru Success Bias: A guru enthusiastically ignoring any failures and only seeing success. And that success can be as small as one like on social media. The failure a guru reports, maybe a hero journey story. A guru will have a copywriter paint a down and out story, down to the last $100, but somehow some secret or some course turned it all around. Almost always, the copywriter makes up the story.

In sum, when a guru preaches now why is the time to start Multiple Streams of Income their first focus: selling you on the belief that they know what they’re talking about. The second focus, you buying their course so you can then buy more courses that sell more courses that all sell you on events that sell more events and more courses. The third focus: selling you on the belief that they know what they’re talking about.

The gurus “multiple streams of income” tip, we find it steeped in delusion. Their main goal: desperately needing you to believe how robust they are to this pandemic. And also desperately needing you to valorize them. But, as we see, they lack experience outside of their own self-promotional funnels. And we also see those funnels, their “secrets” to make money, they bought off the shelf from someone like Russell Brunson. We also know, most gurus rarely invest, own, or partner in a business outside of their endless upsell scheme model. So when they tell you to start Multiple Streams of Income they themselves have never done it. And we also see they completely miss what Multiple Streams of Income means. I’m not sure you’d ever want to use gurus multiple streams of income advice during stable times, and much less use it during COVID.

1. https://www.amazon.com/Muscle-Shirt-Skin-Adult-Standard/dp/B00UKHYD3S ↩

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1. ↩

2. How the Best Marketing Tactics Can Destroy a Business ↩

They claim to know methods that will help you level up your life, dream big, then double those dreams while tripling your income. The methods entail goals, productivity hacks, and advice on “how to start your personal empire.”

Yet most personal development coaches speak at motivational events, often selling more stuff. We know little of their business background, except their version of how they became millionaires. Are they credible teachers on attaining success?

The success gurus rouse followers:

• Man up.

• Work harder than you did yesterday.

• Whatever is in your way, you’re stronger than it.

• Remove all obstacles.

• Fuck normal.

• Awaken the giant.

• The only competition is you.

• Before you find success, erase your old conditioning.

• Positive action feeds positive thoughts.

• Your leadership is your frame.

• Millionaire mindset.

• Billionaire mindset.

• The obstacle is the way.

• Reprogram your brain.

• Tap into your “Operator’s Mindset.”

• Become a path dominator.

• Excuses hold you back, so do better and suck less.

• Hustle, you only live once.

• Money buys happiness.

Rhetoric sounding like a rejected pump-up montage from Fast and Furious 3.

Since you’re here, maybe you’ve heard or stumbled across this advice. Perhaps you attended a Tony Robbins event. Maybe you’re on Jason Capital’s email list where he sells his hardcore copy secrets. Or maybe Tai Lopez chased you around YouTube with “67 Steps To Become a Millionaire.” I’m referring to the guru, expert, coach, or consultant who popped up on your internet browser and promised “how to be a better you,” “how to make more money,” or “how to live your dream life from just your laptop.”

Many experts and gurus who sell “how to live your ultimate life” found financial success. Tony Robbins earned—and still earns—a fortune. But most built their success by selling rehashed advice. And, often, those experts slithered into the guru business after their previous business foundered. Commonly, most experts had some sort of online direct marketing business; they had a meddling sales funnel. One funnel, one offer, became a hit.

A hit often means the funnel grossed, grossed, around a million bucks. Then, for about a year, the offer performed well. Then, around the eighteen-month mark, the offer tanked. If the expert can’t create another hit offer—almost none do—they get stuck. Because they had a hit, their ego can’t be contained. Next, they throw out their old business, take the funnel and marketing tactics they learned, and wriggle into the guru business. Then they profit selling dreams, fast riches, god-like discipline, business consulting, and how to be some kind of warrior. Basically, they traffic insecurities and inferiority complexes. And the content they teach is nothing but rehashed advice.

The rehashed advice traces to Phineas Quimby’s New Thought movement of the mid 1800s. Quimby generally taught people how to manifest a dream life. Quimby, however, tied his manifestation ideas—the think it and it will come—to religion and God. Still, his movement gained rapid popularity because it offered hope. During his era, strict religious movements, like Calvinism, offered harsh living guidelines. Quimby, instead, offered hope. His religious, spiritual holistic ideas were a hit. Naturally, the positive side of Quimby’s ideas were far more appetizing than the strict Calvinism offers. With Quimby’s advice, someone could dream up and then make “living in an idealized heaven” a reality.

After Quimby, a devout New Thought devotee named Napoleon Hill came along. His famed book, Think and Grow Rich, added that someone can affect personal success and wealth via positive thinking. (By the way, Hill—after wildly spending money from book earnings, making terrible business investments, and selling poor Ponzi-like schemes—died flat broke.¹²) After Hill, Dale Carnegie came on the scene. Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, is still popular today. Now Carnegie didn’t just offer a book on how to make social impressions; he wrote and taught how positive thinking and discipline can make someone a success. Plenty of people, especially in the sales and motivational speaking world, hail this book. The book does offer decent advice; today, however, the advice, when used, comes across as trying.

After Carnegie, we meet W. Clement Stone, Og Mandino, and Norman Vincent Peale,. These three men came on the scene in the 1930s and stayed all the way through the 1980s. All three were deeply influenced by Napoleon Hill. Clement Stone, in fact, gave Hill a job when Hill was broke and destitute. Mandino, another Stone success story, was a broke, suicidal alcoholic until Stone helped him. Mandino followed in Stone’s path and become a motivational speaker and sales trainer. Peale mirrors Quimby’s devout religious teachings. Peale packed his teachings with positive thinking and self-hypnosis confidence. Similarly, he worked as a pastor for the Marble Collegiate Church in New York. Three U.S. presidents crossed Peale’s path: Donald Trump attended and married his first wife Ivana at Peale’s church; Peale called Richard Nixon a personal friend; and Ronald Reagan awarded Peale the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Although Peale garnered widespread fame, most of his teachings came under the attack. Most teachings proved bust; theological experts questioned Peale’s goals; and mounting evidence shows Peale may have been a con artist.³ Regardless of where you stand on Peale, he ranks amongst the most famous gurus. Where Hill failed, and where these three succeeded, was giving positive thinking a framework. They injected habits, schedules, goal setting, sales methods, and structure beyond Hill’s “just dream it” ideas. From these three, the advice fans out.

When you scan the personal success archives and compare them with today’s advice, nothing’s really changed since those Stone, Mandino, and Peale days. But we find some new ingredients:

• Swearing— Dropping an F-bomb here or there adds edge.

• Works by Stephen Covey—Covey is widely copied by success teachers.

• Ayn Rand—At some events I’ve attended, I’m shocked they didn’t make people pray to Napoleon Hill and Ayn Rand.

• Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki—Most financial advice taught at success events is often swiped from this book.

• Cold Reading—These tactics are used by psychics, astrologists, palm-readers, tarot-card readers, mediums, mentalists, and Tony Robbins.

• Neuro-Linguistic Programming a.k.a. NLP—The scientifically bust Frankenstein child of Hypnosis was created by John Grinder and Richard Bandler. Tony Robbins started as an NLP teacher. Read any book about Cognitive Linguistics—an actual science—and you’ll wonder if the triangle-earth theory or NLP is more idiotic.

• 1980s Sales Techniques—These include heaps of Zig Ziglar, Tom Hopkins, Robert Cialdini, and Getting to Yes selling.

• FOMO—Pressing hard on Fear of Missing Out, or fear of not living a life resembling a constant highlight reel. This concept plays on people’s insecurities and inferiority complexes.

But where do these success gurus come from? And what makes any of them qualified to teach success?

Gurus narrate how they overcame incredible personal and professional obstacles. They stir audiences with stories of how life set them up for failure and how after discovering secrets, they transform people into millionaires. They claim themselves as renegade business mavericks. They stand on stage or talk on a social media video. They don the now standard designer sneakers, designer jeans, simple shirt, and carefully trimmed five o’clock shadow. While exhibiting expensive clothes and some bling, they tell you that material goods don’t matter. Instead, what matters is mentors and investing in yourself. They profess clichés like, “If a guy like me can make millions, then anyone can!” Or an edgier, “Fuck normal. If you want to succeed, you must break the mold.” Or the most basic guru cliché, “I was down to my last $100 and living in my mom’s basement, but this one secret turned it all around.”

I’m going to take you behind the scenes of most success coaches. I’ll show you where and how most take birth.

The Pre-Expert or Pre-Guru or Pre-Coach stage.

Nine times out of ten, success gurus originated from the direct marketing business model. Their current business, selling success, spins off of their previous direct marketing business.

Let’s birth a guru and see the entire journey.

Meet Bill.

Twelve years ago, Bill was a fitness trainer. He wanted money, status, and recognition. As a fitness trainer, he wasn’t living his dream life. Bill reads a lot of personal development books and the sorts of business books you find at airport bookstores. His favorites are among the lineup mentioned earlier, but we’ll toss in 2007’s wildly popular The Four-Hour Workweek.

Bill heard about selling fitness info products online and how one could earn millions doing so. As a side project, he created an online business. He bought expensive online courses showing him how to create sales funnels and write marketing copy. He bought courses from:

• Frank Kern

• Dan Kennedy

• Jay Abraham

• Gary Halbert

• Ken McCarthy

Unlike 97% of people, Bill followed through and launched a little online business.⁴ Bill created and sold a health and fitness eBook for $37. And he also offered a monthly subscription newsletter for $77 per month.

At first, money trickled in. Bill felt bummed. The courses promised secrets for making millions. But he stuck with his online business. After a few months, Bill tried affiliate marketing on a platform called ClickBank. Here, he earned more money.

I’ll cover affiliate marketing in other posts, but here’s the gist in five steps:

Let’s say you bought Bill’s product.

1. You’re now on Bill’s customer list.

Since you’re a new buyer, you have a dollar value placed on your head. Like most affiliate marketers, Bill makes a living by squeezing as many dollars as possible from new customers. Most, if not all, of his business depends on the monetary worth of fresh customers. How fresh? On average, they are about fourteen days young. Bill leverages how much you are worth to other affiliates.

2. Bill sends you emails selling other offers related to the health product you purchased.

He claims the emails are from his friends or leaders or experts or renegades. He may personally know a handful of them. In reality, however, Bill is sending emails from affiliates that make him money. Those affiliates also affiliate market you. They all follow the same formula: Get an affiliate to email the offer. Get people to buy the offer. Hit fresh customers with other offers.

Bill says something like, “What I send you, I carefully check out. I want to help you on your weight loss journey in any way I can. They say those who invest in themselves find the greatest success. I’m sending you valuable content that I believe will help you live the life you deserve.”

Bill must legally say that platitude. While the words sound caring, he linguistically danced around how he stuffed you on a marketing list. Also, those words are common email marketing practice. Again, if you buy from his “friends,” they will say the same things to you.

3. Bill vets the offers he sends you one way—do they make him money? The product doesn’t matter to him. What matters is conversions. As in, if Bill sends offer X, will people buy offer X?

4. Remember how you and other new customers have a monetary worth on your head? Bill leverages that worth and makes kickback deals with certain affiliates.

If he’s smart, Bill uses his first seven-day customer value as his leveraging tool to affiliates. He also personally uses this value number to judge what his new customers are worth to him. Since he runs an affiliate model, his business’s financial health and most of his personal income depend on new customers buying other offers.

The kickbacks?

On one end, Bill fetches favorable commission deals from other affiliates. He negotiates for 90% or 100% commissions. For example, Bill emails to tell you how his “friend” found a Keto Diet secret that melts fat overnight. You click the link in the email, you watch a video, and you buy the product. The product costs $27. Depending on the deal, Bill profits 90%–100% of the $27.

Why so high? Bill makes a pitch to his affiliates explaining that his customers buy like crazy. To affiliates, that means Bill’s list generates enough new customers to justify a front-end loss. The affiliates then hit you with their email marketing to make money. Again, they sucker and play for a sucker, using the same game as Bill.

Sometimes, Bill works what’s called a CPA deal—cost per acquisition. As in, you buy, and he earns a guaranteed bounty of a certain dollar amount. Big player affiliates almost always offer $100 CPA deals.

Bill’s “friend” who offers a CPA deal is confident they will mint more money off of you than Bill can. How? Bill’s “friend” likely wields stronger sales letters and stronger marketing.

5. The emails Bill sends are often not written by Bill.

The emails were written by a professional. The emails are heavily tested. I don’t mean cute little A/B split-testing; I mean millions of bucks spent. The professional who wrote the emails is using psychological tactics to drive clicks. For instance, in your email inbox, those headlines that say, “Goodbye,” press on fear of missing something. Similarly, the headlines that say, “Where should I ship your book?” press on curiosity; we wonder if we bought something, or if we’re getting something for free.

Some of these tactics are from Nigerian Prince scams and phishing scams.⁵ The goal is to get clicks. The email’s message—long or short—is written with the intent of making you click. You’ll often find “last chance” themes: this plays on scarcity. You’ll also see emails with a testimonial or claim explaining how other people have found success: this plays on social proof and, for many, the “keeping up with the Joneses” inferiority complex. To Bill, a tested email is like using James Patterson to ghostwrite a 3rd grader’s creative fiction essay assignment. Bill knows certain emails earn cash.

An email list produces profit booty for Bill. And like all affiliate marketers, his business model depends on new customers buying affiliate offers. Around 93% of Bill’s customers are worthless to him after 30 days. The 7% worth anything after 30 days bought his subscription product. In general, and at best, subscribing customers stick around for a month and a half before they cancel.

After following this five-step model for two years, Bill earns enough money to quit his personal training job.

Bill is now a solopreneur. He quit the 9–5 and earns around $30,000 per year, mainly from affiliate marketing. He feels close to making it big, and in the next part, we see where Bill turns the corner.

Bill hasn’t yet reached guru status.

We are picking up our journey with Bill a year after he began selling online fitness products. Bill has just started earning enough income to quit his personal training job. His once side business and now full-time business of selling an eBook and a monthly newsletter earns Bill $30,000 a year. He sells his product through the online platform, Clickbank. He’s still affiliate marketing, which means that similar direct marketing businesses email Bill’s offer to their email lists. If the people on those lists buy, Bill earns a commission, but it’s only a fraction. Bill gives his affiliates 75% of the profits. Nevertheless, those who bought Bill’s offer are now on his email list. He then sends his growing email list offers from other affiliate marketers.

Bill makes money from commission deals like the one he offers affiliates or from a guaranteed bounty placed on each buyer’s head, like $100 per person CPA (Cost Per Acquisition). If you remember, Bill has bought into the Four-Hour Workweek, Tim Ferriss world. He’s buying courses from Frank Kern, Dan Kennedy, Jay Abraham, Tony Robbins, Gary Halbert, and Ken McCarthy. The popular courses teach readers how to make money online by writing converting copy, building sales funnels, and employing various self-help methods. Remember, the courses promise secrets and shortcuts to making millions of dollars.

Back to Bill…

As we saw, Bill didn’t blow past the money he earned as a personal trainer; he didn’t print money like the online courses promised. We saw how it took him time to earn enough money to quit his day job. But Bill deserves kudos. Barely anyone starting an online business makes it as far as he did.

During the next few years, Bill learns sales copy, sales funnels, email marketing, joins masterminds, and attends marketing events like Traffic and Conversion.⁶ As Bill develops his direct marketing skills, he also develops online direct marketing means. In particular, where we meet Bill, the previously uncharted affiliate email marketing territory has been discovered as a profit mine.

Before 2011, people still read their emails. In certain niches, someone like Bill could send an offer to his list and make $75,000—in one day. At that time, email affiliate marketing was like the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, where Butch and Sundance went to Bolivia to rob banks because the money was easy. Email inboxes weren’t as crowded as they are now, so it was much easier to get clicks that sent people directly to a sales letter.

But Bill doesn’t have the list size to make $75,000 in a day just yet. He’d need one of at least 75,000 customers. He is, however, making decent money. After five years of chipping away, Bill’s earning $80,000 a year. Again, Bill deserves kudos. Getting here takes immense work.

Bill decides that he’s going to try, for his first time, a Video Sales Letter. This means that, basically, he will write a sales letter, put the text onto PowerPoint slides, and read the text aloud. The viewer will watch the slides and read the text while Bill narrates. He’s trying this because the Video Sales Letter concept went viral in the male dating market. (The market, to be blunt, sold men secrets on how to get laid. The niche exploded after Neil Strauss’s best-selling book, The Game, in 2005. The on-the-rise marketer Frank Kern partnered with Strauss to create, sell, and capitalize on the now wildly popular seduction niche. And it’s here where Frank Kern gained most of his expert credibility, or at least he capitalized on his success. Frank created an offer, leveraging Neil’s name, called The Annihilation Method.⁷ Frank combined his talent, his partnering with Neil Strauss, with timing and luck to create an offer grossing over one million dollars—a breakthrough gross amount in direct marketing at that time. Frank then immediately modeled the sales letter, its funnel, and the product, and turned it into his Mass Control marketing course—a wildly popular marketing course. Bill bought and loves Mass Control.⁸)

He is unsure if his offer will be a hit. At this point, like most online marketers, Bill does little if anything to make a good product. He follows the lessons taught in the courses, events, and masterminds: create the offer first, then make the product; sell them what they want and then give them what they need.

These products are almost always created from basic Google searches. You then take those basic findings and make them into an eBook. Or, if you have higher standards, go into a bookstore and find a popular selling book on the topic. Swipe the basics and use that as the product. In the world of weight loss, Google healthy recipes, copy the recipes, put them into a PDF form, and voila, you’ve got a health offer. Add basic bodyweight calisthenic workouts, and you’ve got your entire program. Bill’s sticking to that formula. And he’s doing the first step: create the offer, then create the product. He’s focused on his new female fat-loss offer, The Slim Switch.

The offer starts off with Bill telling a story about his obese sister and how her dark fat nearly killed her on a plane. She was flying to Disney World with her son when she suddenly collapsed, gasping for breath and writhing in pain. Bill’s sister had tried everything to lose weight, but nothing worked. Not even the doctor’s advice —who also warned her how her dark fat would suddenly strike her dead—helped. Bill, the loving, adoring, and caring brother, didn’t get it. He had helped millions of men lose weight, but nothing worked for his morbidly and could-suddenly-be-struck-dead-by-dark-fat sister. And when the dark fat nearly killed her on a plane in front of her child, something from the overhead compartment fell out and hit Bill on the head: a bottle of a rare herb he was researching.

Yet, by chance, this mystical herb happens to be found in everyday junk foods. Desperate, seeing his sister writhing and gagging, Bill made his sister eat the herb. It saved her life. But weirdly, in one month, she lost 98 lbs. Then Bill, our curious Bill, experimented more. He showed his sister a weird morning exercise trick that takes only ten seconds. You do it lying down. The trick is shown to flip on a woman’s fat-melting switch through an odd metabolism loophole that the government doesn’t want you to know about.

Bill’s sister used the trick and then ate whatever she wanted.

And now...

She’s a slim, envy-inducing, skinny, petite, and shapely one-hundred and one pounds. She not only lost four hundred and thirty-four pounds in a year, but she also turned back the clock on her age and saved her marriage, which subsequently blossomed into a fairytale romance. Best of all, she’s now a better mother, makes more money, and is living a life she knew she always deserved.

Bill, you should know, is an only child. Although he fabricated the story, he doesn’t consider that he lied. That fact that he lied flies over his head. And as much as I glibly badgered you with the above story, that’s a common copy formula. In my experience, some people in online marketing have no qualms about fabricating bullshit.

Bill, however, falls into another common camp. He has disconnected from the product because he sees himself as an entrepreneur. He’s bought into the ideas professed by insipid business books, how hustle and making money is the sole goal, that he now sees funnels and conversions as his business. He believes conversions and profits are what makes him valuable; he completely misses how he outright lies to customers. He’s bought deep into the idea: sell them what they want then give them what they need.

The sales letter is just a tool, a conversion tool serving a means to his desired income ends. And, again, those income ends, to Bill, determine his value. As in, if he makes one million dollars, he somehow provides more value to the world. This sales letter can finally be the stepping-stone for Bill to become a millionaire. He doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. He outright believes he’s like Steve Jobs creating an empire.

Bill launches the offer.

He does a standard product launch. He emails affiliates, they send it to their lists, and the offer does well. Bill is part of what’s called a health syndicate. These are all affiliate marketers in the health niche. They try to help each other out with launches. Traditionally, they used to help each other out by scheduling launches. They tried to make it so one person could launch at one specific time and the rest send for that particular launch with the goal that they can all profit from said launch. Lately though, that practice has subsided. The market got hip to it and tired of it. Now, affiliate marketers email profitable offers as much as they can. In Bill’s syndicate, a few send his new offer to their lists, and it cranks. Inside of a week, the word is out: Bill has a monster offer.

Bill goes from earning $80,000 per year to making that in one month. But most of that money isn’t made from the sales letter. Bill only gets 15%, or $12,000, of the sales letter—the monster offer. What the sales letter does is send thousands of “fresh” customers to Bill’s email list. Bill hammers his email list with top affiliate offers, where he earns 75% commission deals, or those $100 CPA deals I mentioned. And that’s how he makes up the rest of the $68,000 dollars. Still, an offer producing that much money, on average, means around 1,000 new customers per week. Bill’s hit offer deserves marketing respect.

Bill can’t believe it. Others inside the health niche call him an overnight success. Bill believes he is an overnight success. Affiliates clamor to send Bill’s offer to their list. Bill makes a few backdoor deals with other affiliates and goes for blood with his list.

Bill finally achieved financial success. He nets around $600,000 a year. In the health space, this means he does ok. He’s not at the top of the health game—but he does ok. Bill now believes he’s a guy who understands business. He starts thinking what a swell guy he is. He likes the newfound success and thinks the money will never stop.

Bill humblebrags about his success.

Where?

If we rewind a bit, before Bill hit a homerun, he paid hefty fees to join masterminds and attend events like Traffic and Conversion.

Let’s unpack a mastermind and see how they work in Bill’s world. A mastermind, at its root basics, is much like a Meetup group or a social club. A group of people who share similar interests meet and discuss those interests. Then we have paid masterminds. Here you pay a certain amount to join and discuss ideas.

In Bill’s world, paid masterminds are hip and serve as status symbols. This mastermind version traces back to Napoleon Hill. As I mentioned, Napoleon Hill’s famous book, Think and Grow Rich, is like a Bible in online marketing. Hill claimed that powerful men like Andrew Carnegie, Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Edison, Charles Schwab, Alexander Graham Bell, and John Rockefeller hosted meetings with each other, or other successful men, and shared ideas. Hill said these men told him the power of these meetings and how those meetings subconsciously seeded ideas. And those ideas then sprouted into money and successful ventures.

Hill further claimed that these powerful men owe most of their success to those secret mastermind meetings. In reality, as evidence reveals, Hill never interviewed any of those men. He made up the claims. I’m sure Carnegie met other powerful magnates, likely over a dram of scotch at an exclusive social club. Hill may have heard about meetings, or perhaps he romantically idealized a group of powerful men chatting business—something completely ordinary and that any working person does, magnate or not.

Regardless, the mastermind idea is adored in Bill’s online marketing world. Like I said, they become a status symbol. Some masterminds cost $5,000 to join, some are $75,000, and some, even more. The basic framework: pay the fee. You’ll meet, generally, four times per year. The group is anywhere from twelve to twenty people. You get a vague warning that only the secrets can be shared within the group. Many promote what’s called a Hotseat. While I doubt the Hotseat idea is anything new, most direct marketers link the concept to a legendary copywriter, Gary Halbert. The idea: you get an hour on the clock, and you discuss your business problems. Then others grill you, help you, or give ideas. You then go out and apply those ideas. Some masterminds are hosted in exotic locations or five-star hotels and often end up as a night of partying and gossiping. They are often hosted by a famed guru or successful marketer. Bill, like the mastermind sales page that sold him, believes the best investment is in yourself. He figured, why not take that advice to the max and get ideas from like-minded hustlers? His new offer gives him some income that he quickly spends on joining some sexy masterminds. And he wears them like a diamond studded Rolex. He joins one costing $25,000, another for $15,000, and another for $18,000.

Bill loves the masterminds, especially now that his health offer is doing great. Bill tells anyone within earshot how outside ideas from like-minded hustlers made him a success.

Before you try understanding that platitude-logic, here’s another reality about paid masterminds and why people like Bill love them: paid masterminds, while great in concept, are mainly bragfests. They repeatedly involve one-upping, status posturing, joining as a status symbol, and universally, mental masturbation. The ideas discussed, if you could use them, would take months to implement. But most of the ideas are likely not suited to your business. Moreover, most of the ideas are based on possible future profits, and not what’s happening in your business now. And the advice is often pilfered from slavish business books or other masterminds. And, last, usually the advice spews from people who like hearing themselves talk; most brag advice hoping to impress the others sitting in the room. At best a paid mastermind delivers a placebo effect; at most you pay a lot of money to party and to be “busy.”

Bill’s mastermind and boasting fuels his unquestioned self-belief: He is now a savvy business maven.

For one year, Bill’s offer does great.

But, right around twelve months, the sales spiral downward. After sixteen months, his offer fizzles. He is frustrated that his offer died. The $80,000 per month plummeted to $5,000 per month and is still dwindling.

He’s further frustrated because he feels he missed out on some serious big-league money and big-league bragging rights. The bragging rights? An offer that converts cold traffic. Cold traffic refers to customers who’ve never seen or heard of the brand. For instance, when you scroll to the bottom of an article on a site like Huffington Post, you’ll see ads. Those ads use clickbait style headlines: Weird Veggie Burns Fat. You click on that link, and it takes you to a sales letter or sales funnel. If your ad can convert here, or generate enough front-end leads, you quickly scale sales and sales dollars.

In Bill’s world, a converting cold traffic offer not only cranks profits, but it also bestows massive bragging rights. Why? Converting cold traffic is like succeeding at a college sport and then crushing it in the pros. It also shows business acuity: cold traffic requires negotiation, knowing your numbers like calculus professor, and understanding traffic like an economist.

But those facts are lost on Bill. Bill is fueled more by positive thinking. He doesn’t realize cold traffic is a mix of copy, economics, business trends, and shrewd negotiation Bill, again, is like a successful college football player who can’t cut it in the pros. This puzzles Bill, because he believes that with enough hustle and determination, he can make the pros. But he doesn’t. He misses the fact that he lacks the talent, experience, and game intelligence. When Bill does run his ads on cold traffic, he takes an utter financial bath (a truth he tells no one). He doesn’t understand the numbers. He thought his conversion rate from affiliates would travel, but that and his “Zig Ziglar” selling methods fall flat against media buyers—who are cutthroat negotiators. Despite his hustle mentality, Bill stops trying cold traffic and brushes it off with the common cliché said in his circles: “The customers aren’t nearly as good as those on my list,” even though Bill is churning through his customers at an alarming rate (another reality he is blind to). Bill, still, is bummed because he knows and is aware how much money cold traffic can deliver and what status it would give him.

After twenty months, Bill’s offer trickles money. Less than one thousand dollars a month.

Bill is shocked.

As smart as he fancies himself to be, he thought the money would never stop. He wants to get back on top. To do so, he follows standard advice. He turns to his masterminds. There, people brag about theories that will help Bill improve his sales letter. He tries the advice out. The advice works yet only for a month. The offer flounders. Bill decides to test tactics he learned at Traffic and Conversion. He tries sending emails at 6 a.m. instead of 7 a.m. He tries creating complex email sequences based on clicks, opens, opens but no clicks, clicks but didn’t buy, and so on. He tries the popular “make the sales page look ugly” lesson. He changes the color of the buy buttons. He changes the color on the page. He gets his sales copy critiqued by respected copywriters and then tests their recommendations. Some advice works, but most wears off after a few weeks. Then Bill’s offer nosedives.

What Bill fails to understand—like most people selling info products—is that he turned his business into what I call a “Scratch Ticket Business Model.”

Let me unpack what I mean by Scratch Ticket Business Model. Playing scratch tickets requires very little skill. You buy a scratch ticket, scratch the boxes with a dime or quarter, and see if you win or lose. Most scratch tickets don’t pay out a ton of money; only a handful pay out a big cash prize. Often, the biggest cash prizes are not like a standard lottery ticket that pays in the millions. If a standard lottery ticket winner were smart, the winner could get a budget and live off of the dividends comfortably for the rest of their life. Yet most lottery winners take the cash in full and end up broke inside of two years.

Anyway, scratch tickets offer small, rare wins. The big wins often don’t create enough sustainable cash. So, you go back to playing again. Playing scratch tickets is extremely short term. If you’re depending on scratch tickets for income, you must pay and play a lot to increase your chances, chances which never increase. Some people think there is a skill to scratch tickets. They ignore basic economics, basic critical thinking, and lean toward odd superstitions. For our sake though, Bill does gain some skill. He knows copy, he knows marketing funnels, and he knows conversions. So, it’d be like gaining a little advantage on a scratch ticket. That advantage might be like having one or two boxes open, which gives a little more probability that you may win.

Similarly, stronger copy gives you a better chance at making sales than weak copy. But winning ads or funnels isn’t always a guarantee. Similarly, if you’re product isn’t strong enough, most people aren’t going to come back. Plus, if you’re like Bill, and you immediately send your customers to a similar offer, your cash is short-lived. That customer is gone. You churn through your customers. Since you send customers elsewhere, and the product lacks strength, you must keep converting new people.

To increase your chances, you must spend more on your marketing; you must buy more scratch tickets. So you keep playing and playing. The money that comes in is short-lived and must go right back into playing. You keep investing, buying scratch tickets, and playing the odds that your ad will work. But you keep ignoring how it costs five times as much on average to acquire new customers than it does to keep existing customers. Sure, you can say your email list is your customer list, but in affiliate marketing, as of 2018, customers who are fourteen days or older are nearly worthless.

Bill sends his customers other offers hoping to extract as much money as he can. Like scratch tickets, he keeps paying to get fast bucks, then those dollars are in turn spent again on more tickets. Every once in a while, you get a big hit, but another big hit is still unlikely. The focus is on immediate short-term dollars. Get profits fast. Spend again to get more fast profits. You keep playing scratch tickets—you invest in your ad. You scratch the ticket, and you hope the ad works. Then you immediately scratch more tickets and hope you make fast bucks. Maybe you get lucky once or twice, but if you’re still sending customers to other offers, they are gone. You don’t have a quality product to stand on; you don’t have a business to stand on. You just keep playing scratch tickets, hoping for that next big hit.

Instead of creating a long runway based on selling and teaching solid health information, Bill went after fast bucks. His sales letters, the ones he thinks are cool, use tactics resembling those of a 1970’s used car salesman. They play hard on scarcity tactics: the car won’t be here tomorrow at this price. Press on vanity: this car suits you, you’ll be the talk of the town. And the pandering brain-dead attempts at “Yes Ladders.” A Yes Ladder: you try to get the person to make small agreements: I see you’re looking at cars here on the lot today, right? The idea is that you get them saying yes enough, and they can’t refuse to buy.

Bill targeted people wanting quick fixes because most online copywriting courses claim that people want quick fixes; most online copywriting courses that sell “how to make money online”—like the courses Bill bought—sell to people wanting quick fixes. But quick fix customers keep chasing other quick fixes—which means they leave. In other words, Bill used quick fixes to get rich while targeting people who wanted quick fixes.

Does that sound like a sustainable business model?

Bill’s model also depends on affiliates, and he needs a hit sales letter to make money. He never thought about improving customer experience, research and development, or customer results.

What about Bill’s email list? A highly coveted asset for any business, right?

Yes.

An email list, however, is only an asset to a business providing real value. Affiliate marketing lists depend solely on fresh customers, and most affiliate marketers miss the fact that customers turn worthless to them after fourteen days. This means that Bill has to find new customers on a regular basis to keep his business alive. But generating new customers depends entirely on commanding a hit offer. To stay profitable, Bill’s business demands winning offer after winning offer.

Writing a hit offer is tough. It’s like beating the house at Vegas. Bill won a big scratch ticket. Sure, some skill was involved, but scratch tickets are chance. For most top—and I mean TOP copywriters—one hit offer out of every ten is an incredible feat. By hit offer, I mean one grossing seven to eight figures or more in a year. Also keep in mind that most offers generating that kind of income are fueled by deep advertising budgets. How deep? At least six to seven figures per month. If the offer isn’t backed by that budget and it makes seven figures, that’s luck. Like the kind of luck it’d take blindfolding yourself and crushing a homerun off of a 101-mph fastball. But Bill thinks he knows business. He believes he’ll create one hit offer after another.

Bill starts a new offer from scratch. He’s convinced it’ll be mega awesome. The offer launches… and FLOPS worse than Fast and Furious 3.

Bill creates another offer. The new offer performs just okay, like winning a smaller scratch ticket for a few grand.

Bill is stuck.

He made it, once. People looked up to him. He combined hustle, talent, and skill and had a big offer. Now, his new offers do very little. He isn’t making nearly as much income as he did with Slim Switch. He can’t afford the penthouse suites in Las Vegas. He is also nervous about paying the mortgage on his massive new house; a house he bought as an investment in himself.

He looks for answers, so he turns to his roots—he goes back to marketing conferences like Traffic and Conversion, Yanik Silver’s Underground, Clickfunnels, and more. Each promise to teach you top marketing tactics. Traffic and Conversion, run by Ryan Deiss and Perry Belcher, throw a heap of tactics and motivational speeches at you. The tactics taught are the ones that Digital Marketer, a company owned by Deiss, use. They then show you what worked for them and what didn’t. What Bill and many other attendees miss is how these events are often pure cattle calls. They show you tactics, but if you want more tactics, go to the back of the room, and get sold something.

Those who do race to the back of the room to get sold are often viewed as “Hustlers.” For those scrambling to get the early bird sign-up discount, it’s like buying a shiny new Rolex in front of a lot of vain people—it’s status posturing. The “guest speakers” who teach their tactics are, again, selling from the stage. What’s even more painfully odd is that thousands of “Bills” go to Traffic and Conversion.

Most of the affiliate offers Bill sends to, and those affiliates who send to him, all use the exact same methods. Then those methods run dry, and they go back to the feet of Ryan Deiss and Perry Belcher and get more methods. If they want to “level up,” they can join Ryan’s mastermind or other masterminds sold at the event. And often, you get more half-baked plans. Also, other events leech onto the bigger events. There’ll be “exclusive parties” or someone saying they got a spot at a nightclub. This is supposed to be for “networking,” but it’s more like rush week.

Bill attends the name dropping, status boasting parties surrounding Traffic and Conversion. Parties like the Internet Marketing Party.⁹ At these events, he hears how the health niche is suffering. He is worried. He also notices how he lost the star status he enjoyed before. That he does not like.

Bill attends Russell Brunson’s ClickFunnel event.¹⁰ Russell speaks on stage and shows—for the umpteenth time—the Expert Funnel. Russell shows—for the umpteenth time—the income numbers making everyone horny. What numbers? Numbers explaining how you can have ten customers—or followers or a tribe or a cult or whatever hip word is tossed out—each pay you $25,000 a month. People see the numbers as science, but the figures are completely made up. The fictional numbers show how one person is willing to pay you one million smackaroos.

Why pay you so much? This is often a vague answer that ego fills in, or Russell shrewdly fuels your ego. Fueled with tidbits like “people will pay you for your passion, your experience.” Or “people pay you for your valuable content.” Or “you made money selling health, or whatever, but you can now show people how to make money online.” And yes, there are paying customers, but those paying customers tend to be those tied to or lurching around Bill’s online marketing world. Barely anyone commands a one million dollar product, with the exception of Tony Robbins or Gary Vaynerchuk. If someone is paying Tony or Gary that amount, it’s a vanity buy. You can work a deal with Russell, but it’s like a reverse Venture Capital deal. You pay Russell a ton, he uses his resources to scale your sales, then he takes large percentage of gross profit.

In an Expert Funnel, on average, the person leaves their current niche and then sells “how to make money online.” You turn yourself into the person who hosts masterminds and hires a marketing agency to write a book for you. You sell “how to make money online courses” and courses about discipline or positive thinking. This means that instead of selling thousands of $37 eBooks, you can sell “high-ticket” events for thousands of bucks. And therefore, the theory claims again, find someone willing to pay you one million dollars. Or at the least, find thousands of “high-ticket” paying customers adding up to one million dollars.

Bill likes this. Remember, Bill fancies himself a cutting-edge entrepreneur.

Bill then goes to his next mastermind. He announces, “I’m going into the guru business.” A common mastermind announcement. He means he’s going to run an Expert Funnel. Briefly, the Expert Funnel works just like Bill’s health funnel. But instead of health, Bill now leeches onto business. The products are higher priced. The $37 eBook becomes a $197 eBook selling “how to write copy” or “habits of millionaires.” Bill initially created health products from Google searches or going into a bookstore; he now creates business products in the same exact way.

Bill takes ideas from the people I mentioned in the first post or popular generic business books with titles like Overdeliver. Or he heard how Toyota uses Kaizen, so he says Kaizen. If he sells consulting—something he’s never done to an actual business—he’ll take most of the ideas he learned from a Frank Kern course. He morphs these into a product, but he believes the ideas are novel. He might create a higher priced $997 physical product: the eBook sent in a binder with some DVDs or online access to Bill teaching something. Then, from there, he can sell a mastermind group or one-on one-coaching that he calls consulting.

He may even hire a publishing agency like LionCrest, and they’ll ghostwrite, promote and give guidance on his book (this is extremely common now). They’ll even work a few tricks that barely allow Bill to claim, “My book is a best seller.” Bill’s book is just like others who use this plan, a book jammed with generic clichés and platitudes taken from popular people like Jocko Willnick or Ray Dalio’s Platitudes… I mean Principles. Anyway, Bill is stoked to move into the guru business. The masterminds praise Bill’s move from health to becoming a guru.

Bill hears the basic suggestions from the mastermind:

• Write a book—hire a ghostwriter who writes a motivational-themed book loosely tied to your business. Or hire an agency to do it.

• Get some speaking lessons—learn how to speak and sell from the stage.

• Host a mastermind—just like the group Bill is in, he can sell his mastermind. People can pay to meet Bill four times and learn from him and other like-minded hustlers.

• Teach success—work as an income coach, marketing coach, or lifestyle coach.

• Buy your credentials—buy credentials, or even buy your way onto a “best-selling” book list.*
  * You can use companies like Speak at Dubai or Speak at Harvard. You don’t speak, you just pay thousands to get some highlight reels and ways to legally say you spoke in Dubai or Harvard. Or you get plugged on a Fox News Station in a small market, say, a small town in Indiana. In reality, it’s like saying you got into Yale—but Lori Loughlin and Richard Singer helped you.

Bill creates his Expert Funnel. He does the basics. He hires a small marketing and publishing agency to ghostwrite a book. He sells an expensive course teaching discipline and funnels. He offers a membership course where he teaches copy. He sells a mastermind. He sells a few small events—A Day with Bill. There you can pay Bill $5,000, plus your flight and hotel, and fly in to hear Bill talk goals, manifestation, and discipline. There Bill sells you his mastermind. Bill isn’t yet ready for big events; he must first learn to speak and sell from the stage.

Bill is fired up after his masterminds. He disdainfully sees his health business as dead. He further sees his customers—the ones he burned anyways—as not like him. They aren’t hustlers; they aren’t “valuable people” because they don’t earn millions of dollars. Bill loves seeing himself as the next Jeff Bezos. He can’t wait to coach people like him, not the dregs who struggle losing weight—this is how Bill now thinks. He doubles down on himself and starts setting up his Expert Funnel on ClickFunnels.

After his mastermind in Tulum, Mexico, he flies home and immediately gets cranking on his next move. That’s where we’ll meet Bill next.

Bill is spinning off into the guru business.

The guru business? Think Tim Ferriss, Tony Robbins, or Lewis Howes. Bill’s spinning off from his online health information product business; the business where he sold an eBook and then affiliate marketed his list. If you remember, Bill had a hit offer; then the offer foundered. We find him now shifting gears and entering the guru business. Again, this is a common path for many people who sell success. Let’s see where Bill’s at.

Just like when he began in the health niche, he first struggles with the Expert Funnel. He expected he’d print money; instead the offer costs him money.

Bill’s new guru venture sells mindset. He names the program Billionaire Mindset. He writes a book called Uncompromising. Well, the ghostwriter did. The book content? Much of the same the ingredients I mentioned previously: Og Mandino, Stephen Covey, and Napoleon Hill—sprinkled with a few Steve Jobs quotes.

Bill also changes his entire social media feed. He posts motivational quotes, videos, and pictures of himself on Instagram. He executes basic self-branding tactics, like using hashtags with the hope of gaining followers. His posts feature standard guru themed clichés: hustle, determination, facing a personal “challenge,” morning routines, and pictures of him with other hustlers.

Let’s unmask an Expert Funnel.

The Book.

Bill, likely, hired a company to help ghostwrite his book. Certain Publishing Agencies offer what’s called a “Book in a Box.” The agency employees a number of ghostwriters who will either write the book for the author, or if the guru writes it, they hold the guru’s hand. You, me, anyone can reach out to an agency and pick a package. Here are a few such agencies:

• Advantage Publishing. They hook you up with Forbes Magazine.

• Lioncrest Publishing. They provide hookups to The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times.

• BenBella Publishing/Scribe Publishing. You get self-publishing legend Tucker Max’s far reach. Tucker wrote and self-published I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. He opened the door to self-publishing and bucked the massive publishing agency.¹¹

But you don’t just pay for someone to help you write a book. The book is either used as a PR puff piece or a marketing tool for someone like Bill. Let’s look at how Bill uses this style of publishing service.

When Bill buys a book package, the publishing agency doesn’t work like a traditional agency like Penguin. As in—you won’t get rejected. The agency, more or less, aims to boost the guru’s credibility. Or in reality, create a guru from thin air.

Here’s how it’s done.

Bill hires the publishing agency. Bill picks the package where someone ghostwrites the book for him. The ghostwriter slaps together Bill’s motivational message throughout the book. The book also markets Bill’s other courses or masterminds. The ghostwriter follows a blueprint formula using the publishing agency’s template for motivational books. Basically, the book is a mash-up of trite advice (from former gurus) and trending health tips — like “wake up at 4 a.m., “use meditation” or “follow the Keto Diet.”

Since Bill paid for a premium package, the agency will acquire popular testimonials for the cover. For example, Bill may have Ryan Holiday, Tim Ferriss or Lewis Howes tout the book.

Bill really wants credibility; in fact he requires it. Why? Since Bill affiliate marketed and his health product was shoddy, Google Metrics knows Bill really isn’t a health expert. They know that he basically runs a funnel, which means that he never delivered great health advice. Bill just marketed stuff. Google, rightly so, downgrades people who just use funnels or affiliate marketing. Even credit card companies, like MasterCard, penalize info-marketers like Bill. Why? Their marketing practices are shoddy, and their products are often utter shit.

Bill is hip to his bad rating. He must climb out of that hole. Here’s the thing: Google likes authors. Authors check boxes with Google Metrics. Furthermore, Google boosts that score when the book is sold on Amazon. If that book not only has quips from popular authors but also five-star reviews, Google really likes that. Google likes it even better when that book is a best-seller somewhere. While Amazon cracked down a bit with agencies hacking the best-seller list, you can still buy it.

The agency knows all this; Bill knows all this. He learned it at a mastermind. He talked to one of these agencies at an Internet Marketing event. Unlike an author hoping to get published, these agencies sell the “expert.” They’ll call it “Expert in a Box or Coaching Practice in a Box.”

Next, the agency will do its best to cheat all the metrics and get a best seller. They practically guarantee it. They do this so Bill can market “best-selling author” and later put on the cover “used by 150,000 people” or something to that effect. Bill uses the best-seller label to get on shows, boost sales at events, and up his credibility.

One simple trick the agency and Bill use involves getting five-star reviews. This trick is used to get around Amazon laws and gain credibility both with Google and marketing. Amazon tries to stop this practice, but just like police try to stop pickpockets, the pickpockets evolve their method.

On Bill’s end, he sends a survey to his email list asking who is interested in success. Those who raise their hand saying “yes” get put onto a new list. Bill then mentions his new book to that list, yet with one condition. Bill offers a free bonus to people who buy the book on Amazon and then give the book a five-star review. Bill also asks people in his mastermind and other close affiliates to write reviews. Bill may go as far as hiring people to write the reviews. They buy the book, and Bill pays them back. Soon you see a book with 105 perfect reviews. Think of it: not even a great like Robert Caro garners such perfect reviews.

On the agency’s end, they may quietly hire people to review Bill’s book. Lately, this tactic is used less because if caught, Amazon permanently bans the agency. Instead, they often lean more on Bill for the reviews. Bill hits his email list. Bill also works affiliate deals with other gurus. They send Bill’s book offering the same deal, get it, give a five-star review, and get a free bonus (what’s not disclosed is the affiliate – the person pushing Bill’s book — earns a CPA commission).

I cover this more in-depth in other posts, but here are a few questions you can ask to determine if a success book is written in this style:

• Does the book lack an index?

• Does it show perfect Amazon reviews?

• Does it offer bonus content?

• The biggest tell: has the guru ever sold the book for free (plus shipping)?

And there you have Bill’s book: Uncompromising.

Let’s complete the funnel.

Bill sells a high-ticket course.

The cost is $997. Often all you get is a binder filled with the same clichéd advice as Bill’s book: set goals, wake up at 4 a.m., eat healthy, hit your goals, eliminate toxic friends, etc. Again, this is nothing new, and it’s nothing Warren Buffet ever followed.

A binder? Yep. Why a binder? When Bill sends a physical product, he follows this dogmatic advice: Send a big item in the mail. Just a simple plastic binder? Yep. The bigger it is, the more likely the customer thinks the course delivers high value. Where does this advice originate?

Where does this advice originate? In a mastermind. Someone in the mastermind will say, “What sells for nine bucks at a bookstore can be put in a binder and sell for $997.”

Bill creates the binder, Billionaire Mindset. He sells it to the list.

But . . . not many people on Bill’s list buy Billionaire Mindset.

Bill is bummed. He goes to the next mastermind. He hears that the term “billionaire” is not as believable. But people like the name Uncompromising.

Bill repackages the offer. He hires a top writer who crafts a better sales funnel.

Let’s pause for a moment.

Success gurus spin wild tales of success. They stand on stage and deliver stirring tales of how they attained success. On social media, they deliver videos speaking about how they earned their millions.

Many gurus narrate how they conquered obstacles—how they overcame parents, anxiety, introversion, social conditioning, being an outcast in school, business failures, 9–5 jobs, people not believing in them—all that stuff. The stuff a professional like me creates.

How? A pro swipes the Hero’s Journey blueprint and then forces, stretches, and mashes an expert’s background into the journey steps.

Here’s how top copywriters create Bill.

The Hero’s Journey tells a story structure we all love. Joseph Campbell made it known and famous. Movies like Star Wars, books like Harry Potter, and even comedies like Anchorman follow the Hero’s Journey steps.

Let’s take Bill and mash him into the Hero’s Journey. Here’s a common template copywriters follow:

1. Target Audience = Create A Meaningful Emotional Effect

   • Incite curiosity. Use a pattern interrupt. In short, add something startling or shocking that incites curiosity.

   • Example A. You’re watching the show Shark Tank; someone comes out dressed in a costume and then rips the costume off. This is an attempt at inciting curiosity.

   • Example B. Creator of Wake Up Warrior, Garrett White, stands quietly on stage for about a minute. He says no words, he looks around, he lets a blanket of silence cover the room and then he begins. Since most speakers walk on stage speaking, Garrett raises tension by disrupting standard expectations. This disruption incites curiosity.

   • Example C. Tony Robbins’s team pumps the crowd before he gets on stage. This is an old P.T. Barnum trick. Tony’s team rouses the crowd and heightens emotions; nervous people join in because others are doing it. Tony is raising tension in the room—this opens people up to his message.

   • Example D. “Hi. My name is Josh, and this is a Goldfish. And this Goldfish will get you laid.” Those words opened a video sales letter selling the Tao of Badass. Tao of Badass, for a short period, was a top-selling dating eBook online. Other variations like that opening exist. Current versions use conspiracy theories or those odd-looking pictures and headlines you see at the bottom of a Huffington Post article.
     The tactic, whichever way you do it, tries to seed suggestibility, seed a willingness to buy, in the target market.

2. Subject Matter = Balance

Create a setting, find common core values, and match them to the target audience.

Find the language used by the target audience.

• Research demographics and similar psychological challenges these people face. For example, maybe the audience complains about money, not losing weight, hating working for someone else, etc.

• Take the research and map out a Hero’s Journey related to the audience.

• Aim to trigger, “Hey that sounds like me!” But toss in one twist—make the guru’s previous situation a real nightmare. Do this to overcome objections like “this teaching looks too challenging.”

• Look at the most self-critical person and craft stories that don’t allow them to say, “This won’t work for me.”

  • Create a saga about how the expert lived a nightmare. If they didn’t live a nightmare—and most haven’t because most come from upper middle class or wealthy families—spin something like “anxiety” or “not being popular at school” into sounding like the expert faced something worse than cancer, AIDS, and torture.

3. Inciting Incident = Imbalance

Throw the guru’s life into hell.

Use cold reading tactics and exaggerate how bad it got.

• A common point: make it sound like everyone told the expert they would fail.

4. Object of Desire = Unfulfilled Need

Tap into the common story: when someone’s life gets knocked off balance, human nature grabs the steering wheel and attempts to regain control. A new object of desire pops up. Basically, we all inevitably face loss in life. We lose jobs, breakups happen, unwieldy spending habits create enormous debt. Often, depending where we are in our life, both in maturity and self-awareness, we handle this knock from balance in various ways. When we’re younger, for instance, we handle a breakup by immediately going on the rebound; we date the polar opposite from our last partner, and sometimes we slide into a titillating yet terrible relationship. We do this because we quickly try to gain control of our love life. What often manifests from this attempt at control, we end up in other tricky situations. We might go bankrupt and then try some get-rich quick schemes, which only worsen our financial situation. We constantly clutch at frayed strings, and we never hang on.¹²

Create or fabricate getting fired, going bankrupt, spouse leaving, and mash the expert’s life into it.

5. First Action = Tactical Choice

Throw the expert into a series of choices. Pour salt on human wounds.

Use three distinct subtext ingredients: (1) common objections, (2) common choices, and (3) common experiences. Find all three using your market research.

• Any common objections you learned: toss them into the story.

• Any common choices the target market makes or may make: toss that into the story.

6. The First Reaction = The Violation of Expectation

Explain how the guru reached a goal, but something unexpected destroyed the goal.

Show the audience that what they believe will work for them will likely fail.

• If you don’t have any evidence or data, spin a conspiracy story or use stretch numbers.

• Make sure the guru sounds relatable here.

7. The Crisis of Choice = InsightMake it look like the guru is about to give up.

• Exhaust all choices but throw in a final twist: an odd stumble into luck, one last shot at something crazy despite others telling them not too, or an “A-ha!” moment.

• Make it look like the guru had an instant turnaround because he discovered a strange or renegade secret.

• For example, here’s common one found in email marketing: I was down to my last $100 and living in my mom’s basement, but this one secret turned it all around.8. Climactic Reaction = ClosureAnswer all questions.

• Show how the guru saves their targeted audience from bad decisions using success shortcuts. Most sales letters get cloudy here. Often, the copywriter will begin hammering the page or video with testimonials or wild-eyed hyperbole. The testimonials are often coached, coaxed, or sometimes made up. For instance, some copywriters will ask other copywriters to write a testimonial. Other times, you see other “experts” – generally other marketers inside the same niche – boast about the product's merits; the expert just merely ok’d their picture being used and likely got an affiliate deal. In the weight-loss niche, many marketers plagiarize – except for a few word changes – testimonials from Weight Watchers. The sure sign, the testimonial will say how the person used a common solution, and nothing worked, but then after using this offer, their life changed. In other words what you see (what they spin) lightly holds onto the truth—and frequently not. This story is nothing new. Many swipe bits from other gurus, almost like a comedian steals jokes. The saddest fact is that some experts delude themselves into believing their fairytale actually happened.

For instance, Jason Capital constantly mutates his why college was pointless story.¹³ In a recent version, he says that by age 20, he had been to four colleges in four years and still didn’t find success. I guess that means that Jason started college at age sixteen. That story goes against his previous marketing stories. And the current version differs from when he sold an online basketball training program under his real name, Alex Maroko.¹⁴¹⁵ Why the change? Jason’s smart. He’s using a renegade whiz kid story that his audience finds badass. He’s connecting with people, primarily men, who desire power, respect, wealth, and status. He knows his audience. He’s targeting his audience with a carefully matched story they like.

Now you understand the role that copywriters play in an expert funnel.

Back to Bill.

Let’s fast-forward two years.

Bill has found his guru groove by selling from the stage. He is now a success coach. He posts platitudes on Instagram where people respond “100!” He sells “how you can make riches online.” He sells high-ticket masterminds. Bill’s business model follows the same steps he used with his health product, but he uses additional funnel steps and sells higher priced items. Furthermore, he has shifted into a more profitable market—a market willing to buy “how to get their pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.”

Bill grosses a hair over a million dollars a year and nets close to $700,000. Due to his pretax gross and pre-paying out his employees and affiliate bills, Bill boasts he’s a self-made millionaire. Remember, Bill makes his money online by selling “how to make money online.”

Let’s recap Bill’s journey:

• He got into Online Direct Marketing by selling cheap eBooks.

• He made most of his money with email affiliate marketing.

• He cracks one hit offer after a few years of scraping away; it’s not a grand slam offer—just a third inning home run in the third game of the season.

• His hit offer performs well for about a year.

• His offer starts failing.

• He tries writing other offers, but his next best offer hits a double.

• He wants out of health, and he can’t go any further because he’s not a bonafide health expert. As in, he’s not a trained biologist or nutritionist. At best, he is a certified trainer.

• He ties his character, self-esteem, and personal identity to recognized external success.

• He shifts from health to the guru business.

• He uses the Expert Funnel, which, as I hope you now see, possesses minor differences from his health funnel.

In sum and as I referred to earlier, Bill jumped into the Scratch Ticket Business Model. This model corners a big portion of online marketing. We saw how the model worked for Bill; you need a hit add and people constantly buying. The products are suboptimal, and only 3% of the people ever use the product. The model doesn’t depend on customer results; it depends on customers buying everything under the sun.

Bill chained his method for earning money to hit sales letters and affiliate deals. But he switched to the guru model. This must be better, right? Bill is shortsighted. Most expert funnels work the same way as his previous health funnel. Only, expert funnels provide more stability based on higher priced items.

Since Bill found talent selling from the stage, he’ll sample better income stability. Yet he must keep selling success. He must continue speaking and selling his products from stages. Eventually, this model, like his hit ad, burns out. Why? People and customers tire of hearing the same platitudes over and over. Many also spend a ton of money, don’t get anywhere despite the guarantees, and move on. Also, Bill’s “guest speakers” often sell their version of “how to get your pot of gold.” When someone buys one of their programs, guru Groundhog Day cycles once again:

• Sell motivational books for free (plus shipping).

• Teach high-cost courses about how to be successful.

• Host a high-ticket event.

• Sell an expensive mastermind at the event.

• Feature guest speakers who also pitch success.

• Sell one-on-one coaching to “those who consider themselves serious entrepreneurs.”

And once those followers leave and follow another guru into their Groundhog Day, Bill likely never sees them again. Once this happens, he transitions into high-end consulting like Frank Kern or Joe Polish. Or he’ll sell big networking party events—basically people pay thousands of dollars to party with other online marketers, most of whom, by this time, you would already know.

Next, we’ll unpack the lessons you learn from one of those events, or from someone like Bill.

Remember, we watched our self-proclaimed influencer, life-coach, success coach, income coach hustling coach, biz wiz Bill find mild success by teaching fellow passion-chasers how to quit the 9–5, exit the rat race, and become an entrepreneur.

We saw how Bill sells his “make money online” scheme. We watched him fall from a self-proclaimed fitness expert into dire financial straits and then slither back to “success” by entering the guru business. We peeled back the curtain behind how most motivational or self-proclaimed gurus sell their secrets and become “success experts.”

But what do Bill or any success guru tangibly teach? What about the lessons?

Bookshelves, online ads, “influencers,” “entrepreneurs,” “coffee with” groups, “riding in cars with” groups, podcasts, TEDx talks, and countless other mediums offer a massive buffet of level-up-your-life-lessons. We can pick Tony Robbins, Lewis Howes, or a mash-up of business, discipline, health, or even a hip Ayahuasca journey with entrepreneurs. We can fork over not just hundreds, not just thousands, not just hundreds of thousands, but in some instances, millions of dollars on “mentors.” Some mentors boast that they spent hundreds of thousands on coaching and wear that claim as a badge of honor. They then sell you the same vogue cliché saying they believe “the best investment is in yourself” or the now hip: Do. The. Work.

Ok, but what is “the work”? In other words, what are the lessons behind the huge paywalls? What is behind the advice people spend those small to large fortunes on? In some instances, people pay Tony Robbins $85,000 for a one-year membership to his Platinum Group, which costs $37,926 more than a year of tuition at Harvard University. Certain thought leaders say college is a waste of time and money because it’s too expensive, and you don’t learn anything. Then they sell you on their mastermind—after you likely have already spent a few thousand bucks with the guru on courses, newsletters, and one-day events that on average can cost anywhere from $15,000 to over $50,000 or more. So yes, you can pay a guru around $37,926 more than a year at Harvard. You meet that guru around four times per year in a room with other people and share “secrets.” Jeff Bezos chose Princeton; Bill chose masterminds. Bill sells his mastermind and also teaches people that college is a waste of time and then quotes his idol, Jeff Bezos. Oh, and Bill boldly teaches you to emulate Jeff Bezos. What exactly are the lessons? What makes the guru even qualified to teach the lessons and charge more than many elite college tuitions? I think the answer lies not in the lessons, but rather the emotional ingredients packed into certain gurus.

Like Bill, most gurus who sell success, or pots of gold, originated from Direct Marketing Models. Most of them tasted mild success using that model. Now they find their current success in selling the same pots of gold they desired.

Let’s look at how gurus define success. They use standard guruese to define success.

• Success is what you make of it.

• Autonomy.

• Financial freedom.

• Dominating your life.

• Obsession is the key to excellence.

• Shoot for $10 million not $1 million.

• Develop multiple streams of income.

• Do what others won’t, and you’ll have what others don’t.

• Business is about solving people’s problems for a profit.

• Average is the enemy.

• Suffer for the outcome.

• The only competition is you.

The sayings motivate, but they’re just sayings. I find nothing wrong with using a maxim to deliver pep to the day. But as far as finding professional and personal success, I’m not seeing concrete answers.

Most gurus define success as a mindset that levels up your life so that you dominate your way to success using income making secrets while also inspiring others. Again, this definition is completely abstract. When you unpack their definition, you see a self-absorbed mindset chasing down external outcomes at all costs. And the vague mindset harmonizes with narratives about being an entrepreneur warrior. But what are they conquering exactly?

The guru yardstick that measures success isn’t innate character; rather it’s financial rewards. And then those financial rewards reap external rewards. The rewards entail status, recognition, and wealth. The wealth amount is never defined, yet it’s always in the millions.

You also find personal mirages comprised of power, perfect love life, respect, influence, and autonomy tied to these rewards. For instance, certain gurus will post certain commonly used phrases:

• I’m going to tell you some cold truth that you might not like. It’s impossible to be unhappy when you’re rich.

• Money buys you happiness, freedom, and autonomy.

• The people around you lie to you by telling you to save or go to college. But college puts you into debt to get a piece of worthless paper. Smart people go into debt to buy speed and scale their businesses.¹⁶

• Smart people invest in themselves for the greatest ROI.

• You can’t have a seven-figure income on a five-figure lifestyle.¹⁷

• Rich people don’t watch the news. Rich people make the news.

And then a guru links, while not explicitly claiming, how that wealth then creates other popular outcomes many want, like finding stronger relationships or an incredible sex-life, owning more freedom, having a bigger house, traveling more, or having more friends. Basically, the gurus project their wants—often abstract and subjective—into what they believe enormous wealth bestows. And the mirage depends entirely on valorizing a personal narrative about making millions.

As you see, it’s circular logic. Even as I try to unpack their definition of success, it’s confusing. Yes, the maxims and words sound great in a speech. But when you try getting concrete definitions, you end up with holding nothing. Anyone can say, “Develop multiple income streams.” Anyone can say, “Suffer for the outcome.” The only concrete thing you hear are gurus imposing their abstract beliefs of success. And their beliefs are always tied to being rich and being recognized.

All that chasing, all that hustle boasting, all that discipline pandering—is just compensating. Gurus and many of their believers are chasing mirages because of their own deep-rooted insecurities and inferiority complexes. As in, someone like Bill felt inferior about something, and now he wants to feel superior.

People who sell success and those who attend the events are pursuing superiority to compensate for insecurities. Look at the lessons:

• Superior at making money.

• Superior in lifestyle—like health, wellness, and discipline.

• Superior in autonomy.

• Superior at being an entrepreneur.

The fact is, fueling your desires for superiority leads to becoming unhappy, depressed, and ruinously materialistic.¹⁸ If you truly want to be free, you can’t place that freedom on outcomes commanding the authority of your success.¹⁹

Across the globe, empirical evidence shows that earning $75,000 a year—without big debts hanging over your head—is where people peak for financial happiness. As in, income only has a positive effect on your happiness until you reach $75,000 per year. After that, it tails off, and making $90,000 or $90,000,000,000 will not make you any happier.²⁰

You might think I’m telling you to stop driving toward success, but I’m not. Often, a person defines happiness as a sense of personal and professional fulfillment.²¹ Professionally, this means mastering a skill which proves useful to your job. But that’s the thing—mastering a skill. A craftsman’s approach fuels purpose and meaning. Granted, people may not knowingly take a craftsman’s approach. Yet one’s dedicated discipline in shaping their talents and skills creates either a top-notch philosopher or a venture capitalist billionaire on Wall Street.

Let’s look at how Wall Street billionaires apply the craftsman’s approach since success gurus love quoting them. Wall Street billionaires do not obtain success on straight hustle, copywriting skills, or any of the skills taught by Tony Robbins or Grant Cardone. Instead, most were college standouts in a unique degree, like a specific math degree. Sure, they may have lustful drives to become billionaires, yet they earn their money on the back of their methodically sharpened skill. And this success is found in a 9–5 job—the same 9–5 job that countless success experts implore you to quit.

Success gurus claim that they’ll show you how to be superior in your world and make more money. And this superior ability means you’ll be happy. Success Coach Bedros Keuiliain says that money buys you happiness.²²

And people like Keuiliain or Lewis Howes proclaim that they know secrets to quickly securing promised mirages. In most cases, this is a mirage the gurus themselves never found. Certainly, some gurus earned money elsewhere or run a decent business—like Bedros Keuiliain’s Fit Body Bootcamp Franchises which earned a self-reported eight-million dollars in revenue in 2018.²³ Yet they still lack the business talent, expertise, strategy, and skill set to come anywhere close to what something like the founders of Halo Top Ice Cream or investment wiz Chris Sacca have accomplished.²⁴²⁵ Why? Because those “disruptor” CEOs, or Venture Capitalists, are working on their own businesses.

A Chris Sacca, Peter Thiel, or even someone who runs a decent retail shop found success without needing “guarded secrets.”²⁶

They capitalized on their own skills and learned through experience, boring routine, setbacks, pure luck, and fortunate timing. They continue to seek both understanding and strategy for their business. As in, they never attended masterminds. They never bought a hyped-up marketing course. They also never bought into the idea that you must constantly be scaling your business at all costs. Instead, successful business owners of any variety—from farmers to car makers to ice cream makers—focus on making an unbeatable product, service, or experience. It’s not to say highly successful people stop learning. They are often hyper-disciplined students. But they don’t study at the feet of gurus; they lean toward well written books—often not business ones—or from leading intellectuals like Nassim Taleb or Tyler Cowen.²⁷ And they aren’t seeking happiness either.

In contrast, gurus merely hype that they can teach you secrets to becoming like Chris Sacca and then promise how your newfound success will make you happy. But the happiness that gurus sell depends on uber success and raising your status. How you raise your status—the methods, mindset, and discipline that secures your success—becomes a status symbol in itself—a status symbol which gurus boast about. They post quotes featuring fortune cookie wisdom like “wake up early.” And, then, from fortune cookie wisdom, they hype their claims how they started seven or eight figure businesses; however, they never say much beyond the fortune cookie wisdom and the claims. They hype their personal discipline routines while looking down their nose as they talk about the habits of “average” people. They seed the idea that you too, in order to prove your success, should boast about your discipline, your money, your success, and your newfound status.

In the book Status Anxiety, Alain de Botton states, “The notion of a status symbol, a costly material object that confers respect upon its owner, rests upon the widespread and not improbable idea that the acquisition of the most expensive goods must inevitably demand the greatest of all qualities of character.”²⁸ This translates directly to gurus. Gurus proffer that respect comes from success, and success means you’re an inherently better person. Therefore you’re superior to others. This sounds snobby, but it taps into primal emotions and insecurities. Gurus conjure self-aggrandizing fantasies: wealth, being an entrepreneur, autonomy, relationships, and endless streams of money. They teach you to identify with an Operators Mindset—or whatever guruese they use. They preach discipline, obsession, balance, suffering for the outcome, and dreaming big then doubling those dreams. Just join their tribe, and they’ll show you the keys to the kingdom.

But do they truly know how you, I, or anyone can become successful?

First, let’s unpack some simple science. Despite rousing quotes and phrases stating that anyone can attain any dream, you’re born with genetically innate traits. If twins are separated at birth and raised in two different environments, they will still possess similar personalities. When they meet later in life, they’ll both possess similar dispositions, they may be introverted or extroverted, vote for the same political parties, be great at math or poor at it, like the same kinds of music, etc.²⁹ Research shows that what you’ll likely be good or poor at is somewhat inherent. Our personality is also set. Now, most personality typing, especially Myers Briggs, is shoddy pseudoscience—DISC being the worst offender. I won’t ramble on, but most personality typing uses the same cold reading you’ll find in horoscopes. But one personality test does have some decent scientific backing: The Big Five. The Big Five or OCEAN, as it’s commonly called, shows personality traits and how those traits manifest general behaviors. Now, like any personality test, it’s highly subjective, and it’s a theory. But Ocean is not bad. The results somewhat replicate, and it delivers a decent guideline. Here is the trait guideline:

1. Openness—Non-Openness

2. Conscientiousness—Unreliability

3. Extroversion—Introversion

4. Agreeableness—Antagonism

5. Neuroticism—Stability

You have a baseline for each trait, and you may be stronger with some than others. For instance, you might be somewhat introverted or extremely introverted. Despite owning a strong trait, in certain situations you may slide toward the other side. For example, an extremely introverted person may charm a room of people in some situations and look like an extrovert. Whereas an extreme extrovert might clam up in various situations, making them look like an introvert. How you move on the scale depends on our genetic traits. It depends on how you were raised in the first few years of life and what kinds of friends you had past the age of five. And last, it depends on your skills and talents and where you feel confident. While you undoubtedly can grow and flourish, you grow and flourish inside certain parameters depending on genes, skills, and talents. And that’s a good thing.

Your disposition—your innate nature—ties into your strengths. For instance, Lebron James is an outlier athlete. He’s built for basketball. Whereas someone like Adele embodies outlier genetic gifts for singing. Adele may love basketball, yet she likely would have not dominated the WNBA. Likewise, James may be able to carry a note, but he likely would never wow people with his singing talents. You possess innate strengths and weaknesses, and your genetic disposition suits itself to certain skills better than others. When you train and shape your skills, you attain mastery.

You may struggle to digest the fact that you possess some inherent talents and not others. You may feel pigeonholed into roles without any say. You want to think that with enough hard work—with ten thousand hours and a few secret hacks—you can obtain success. I’m sorry, but in some areas, you can’t. Whereas in other areas, you’ll thrive.

Many digest this science poorly. Many see it as futile or toxic and slip into a victim mentality of “I’ll never be good at anything.” It’s here that some people often point at success stories like the ones gurus spin. This is called survivor bias.³⁰ It means that you crave success. You point to a few stories of how people succeeded, while ruinously failing to acknowledge the failures.

Sounds futile, I know. But seeing it as pointless means you need to take stock of what success means to you. If you need massive success, why? And is that success self-serving—are you the star player? And if so, why? Approval? Attracting the opposite sex? Wanting to be stinking rich? Does your search for wealth or a perfect partner define you? These are fantasies that fuel anxiety and futile thinking.

One, it’s easy to believe you must attain wild heights. The wild heights, however, are more like playing air guitar, and the air crowd is going nuts. It’s fun to think about, but it’s a fantasy. Two, these fantasies shade your current skill sets, and you automatically think you’re stuck in your life. Instead of building career capital—the skills that shape your flourishing—you distract yourself by drinking the Kool-Aid of how you can achieve anything. You chase childish whims.

Success coaches distract you by suggesting that you hack your way through knowledge. You can’t. Like the Stoic Philosopher Epictetus explains, you learn the alphabet one way.³¹ You can write “John” as “4ghuya)8,” but it doesn’t pan out. You can’t secure professional expertise on individual whims. Getting good requires experience.

Success coaches persuade you away from crafting what may be your best talents.

And they manipulate you away from reality. Instead, gurus sell a system, a shortcut for success. They, too, ignore personal nature and ask you to identify as something else. For example, Craig Ballantyne says introversion held him back for 25 years.³² He implies that successful people aren’t introverts. Craig misses how icons he admires—like Warren Buffet and many world leaders—are introverts. Craig sees introversion as toxically taxing his goals. But what he’s teaching fuels anxiety.

How?

Success coaches insist that something, some idea, holds you back. Some outside world, some internal belief, or something your parents said—something holds you back, making you think something is wrong with you. Sure, plenty of things are wrong; no one is perfect. But you think that wrong holds you back and keeps you average.

When Craig says that “identifying as an introvert held him back,” he is referring to a long-dated stereotype that introverts are socially awkward. And he poses that if you are introverted, you must identify as something else to attain success. He implies something is wrong with you, which further seeds anxiety. He also falls into poor circular logic: don’t identify as something but identify as something else. Craig is doing what other gurus do: projecting their underlying personal insecurities.

Gurus compare themselves to others. They pound messages about leveling up, which implies climbing levels, which means they naturally see certain others as better than them. Gurus project not only a marketing message but also a Band-Aid to cover their insecurities. Gurus project what they crave to be seen as while fearing being seen any differently.

This is similar to the belief that celebrities have their lives together. The celebs enjoy fantastic sex, a perfect love life, a cleaner house, and say all the right things. Gurus sell the same concept, but instead of a celeb, it’s an entrepreneur. Gurus believe and teach that someone with more money experiences a better life, and therefore is a better person. And gurus chase that fantasy by selling that fantasy. But it’s just that—a fantasy. The guru mantras fuel insecurities about someone being better. In other words, the mantras compensate shortcomings like a guy compensates for his “size issues” by buying an expensive car or massive truck.

And therein lies the danger with many gurus—they teach you to compare yourself to others. Often their own comparisons are based on their unchecked insecurities. Again, they believe monetary success and external outcomes will fix their issues. Just like many people think earning more money, becoming an entrepreneur, fixes unchecked issues. Gurus capitalize on this insecurity by selling potential.

Anyone capable of thinking wonders if they live up to their potential. Everyone knows they’re never 100% perfect with their habits. Everyone thinks they can do better. You sometimes think that lack of perfection stops you from making more money. You think your introversion holds you back. You think extroversion makes you too scattered. Your fantasies project an ideal life—a life of being healthy, hustling, and owning a warrior mindset.

You project teenage dreams that being a blazing hot entrepreneur solves insecurities. You’ll dream about living as a better you; you’ll be in a perfect relationship; you’ll command respect and admiration.

For many, business hustle implies how someone is different, dare I say, better than most. What is business hustle? Business hustle paints stories that involve a mystical entrepreneur who is following a perfect schedule, fueled by on-tap motivation, and summoning unbeatable money earning secrets. This busyness is a personal badge showing worth, status, drive, and not being average. The entrepreneur suffers like a warrior for an outcome, and people know it. The entrepreneur reaches a summit and finally sits at the cool kids table.

Ryder Carroll, creator of Bullet Journal, points out that “efforts are always fueled by some promise.³³ What exactly do you expect in exchange for your blood, sweat, and tears? What is the goal behind all of our goals? For most of us, it’s to be happy, and therein lies the problem.” Ryder reveals troubling flaws with success experts. The experts tie happiness to business success. More troubling, they tie happiness and self-worth to the financial rewards created by vague markers of success.

For instance, when you listen to success coaches speak on stage, they love making comparison stories. They tell you how they saw successful people and felt left out. But now—using the secrets they are selling—they have joined the success country club. Worse, gurus cheapen lessons about emulating qualities of certain people. Instead of learning lessons from the blueprint Jeff Bezos followed, gurus cherry pick and rationalize “Just Do It” quotes and then point at financial rewards and how those rewards equal a better life. Undoubtedly, Bezos offers valuable business lessons, but you know nothing of Bezos character or happiness.

Do the trappings of success make someone better? Does making less money than your neighbor make you less virtuous? By most success coaches’ yardsticks, Jeff Bezos is the perfect human being. He’s better than anyone. Why? He’s the richest man. And arguably, no one on earth is more successful in business than Jeff Bezos.

But what if you’re born into money? Does an heir or heiress to the Walton family, make them automatically better than Tony Robbins? Well, according to success coaches, this would be the case. How? Certain heirs and heiresses earn vastly more income than success gurus could ever fathom making and not just from inheritance but professional roles. Does that mean the success gurus are less ambitious than members of the Walton family?

I’m being facetious, but I’m pointing out the pitfalls on the comparison mentality. Why? Because when a professional copywriter gets to work, they draw out everything I just mentioned in this post. They draw out irrational fears and idealistic dreams and press the buttons. Selling a quick mindset shift is a lot easier than selling practical virtue ethics.

I’m not anti-making money. But focusing on the money—focusing on living an idealistic entrepreneur fantasy—distracts you from getting good at your craft. It’s blind ambition. And ambition is tying your well-being to what other people say or do. Is that freedom?³⁴

A professional copywriter would pour acid on the insecurities I mentioned. A professional writer—in this market—paints dreams of power, respect, and recognition, all while showing how others are doing it, and you’re left behind. Then at an event, mastermind or in a course, most gurus repeat the marketing copy in the lessons they teach. They give you vogue phrases, a bit of split-testing advice, some scheduling advice, some copy advice, some marketing metrics—while they are blind to the fact that many marketing metrics like segmenting and conversion metrics actually mislead or financially wreck a business³⁵ — and then slap on more motivational platitudes. They get that out of the way and then often sell you into another group. What’s the only lesson you’ll actually learn? You’ll learn how someone can keep selling themselves to others.

Success coaches were persuaded by the same message they now teach. They are just like their audience. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The one limited factor: gurus find success by clinging to a financially limited business model. They must keep selling from the stage. They must keep a funnel going. They aren’t creating new Amazons. They aren’t inventing life-saving technologies. They don’t create, they follow. And they want you to follow. They hang on the sleeve of Expert Funnel templates, selling higher ticket items, hopefully increasing revenue that keeps a self-serving business model afloat. And, they sell you the same model as your way to command an empire.

Now we turn to the tactics— if you can even call them that—that you and the guru’s tribe learn. We uncover the “guarded secrets” to making money. But we’ll look into how those guarded secrets made some people go broke, how many are swiped from widely available areas, and how those tactics are dated, harmful, and best to avoid.

As we have followed Bill’s journey, we’ve seen that success coaches promise shortcuts and surefire steps to enormous wealth, an incredible life, and fame and accolades.

They promise to turn you into a business maven—a maven guided by an envy-inducing routine, clear thinking, and decisiveness.

In reality, they sell a shortcut to an abstract and idealized vision of success. A vision fantasizing a successful entrepreneur’s personal and professional life. In reality, the vision often projects the guru’s own insecurities and inferiority complexes. But the gurus offer a plan, secrets, steps, and keys to success.

What do you get?

What about the advice?

The tactics?

As we learned, success coaches often originate from Online Direct Marketing. And again, they found moderate success using a tactic based business model. A model that depends on hit ads and affiliates. The model requires luck, slick ads, and kickback deals. Then, like always, the ads die. The guru struggles to find another hit hook; it’s here where they shift into the guru business model using the Expert Funnel.

Let’s look at what gurus teach—what it is people actually pay for. We return to Bill. Bill now hosts events and masterminds and guest speaks on stages.

You buy Bill’s course—Uncompromising Success. The course comes in a binder and teaches basic productivity habits. The course also contains many feel good phrases about success. You like the course but feel that a live event will take you to the next business level.

Let’s breakdown an event.

On average, events with 25 people or more cost between $2,500–$15,000. Some cost beyond $50,000.

What do they teach? Once you get past all the self-congratulating:

• Copywriting.

• Surface level productivity methods.

• Goal setting.

• Funnel building.

• Straight hustle.

• Turning ideas into millions.

• Bragging about how they did it this way.

• How to get around new internet laws because they broke the old ones. (For instance, Google shut them down because Google found the claims fraudulent. The before and after pictures were stolen from, say, Weight Watchers, and, frequently, the quoted sources in the sales letters were either made up or so wildly out of context that the quoted person was notified and ordered a cease and desist on the sales letter. In another example, Amazon discovered that the expert was goosing five-star reviews, thus Amazon booted the fabricating expert off its marketplace. Then Amazon created a better algorithm that recognizes real authors with real content, real products, and real reviews. The marketer now aims to get around those new rules and algorithms. These conversations—how to get around new laws—are frequent in masterminds.)

• Vague ideas about creating content. (Generally speaking, they give advice like “lock yourself into a hotel room for two weeks and make it.” They don’t do this—they use a team. But they read that JK Rowling did it once, and it sounds like a slick thing to teach for a few grand.)

If everything on that list were taught at an event, it would be a rare content rich event. Most events teach abstract copy advice and sermonize—often moralize—motivational talks. And many events are what’s called a “cattle call.” This means they put asses in the seats for $2,500 bucks and then each speaker sells their products from the stage. Each speaker comes on stage gives a sales pitch, some words of motivation, and that’s all you get. The reality? You pay a few grand to hear and watch sales pitches. It’d be like paying a car salesman $5,000 to spend a weekend selling you a car you already plan to buy.

Remember the affiliate marketing I mentioned in the previous post? At events, instead of emails, similar backdoor affiliate deals were made. Here’s how. Let’s say Bill’s event features Bedros Keuilian and Tai Lopez. Bedros and Tai sell their programs. Each earns an affiliate deal for what you buy. Each then hope you attend their event, buy their shit, and buy more shit from their guest speakers.

Some gurus will do a Pay to Play—as in, a guest speaker pays to speak on stage and hopes to sell his shit. Guests on Tim Ferriss’s podcast all paid big money to be a guest on the podcast; it’s a veiled promotion, Tim got paid, and likely because Tim commands a massive and eager audience, people will buy whatever that guest sells. Each guest pays the hefty fee in hopes that Tim’s massive reach boosts whatever they sell.

Ok, I’m getting off track.

You attend Bill’s event: loud music, highlight reels, and people cheering and screaming. “Edgier” speakers say things like, “Fuck normal!” and “Your mindset holds you back.” They then show you ways to make millions.

Let’s remove the hackneyed hype and unveil one average plan you’d learn at an event like this.

One common plan is modeled on the way that the guru found mediocre success—like Bill selling weight loss—before he switched into selling success. Remember the plan Bill struggled with for five or six years before he stumbled upon that one hit sales letter?

• Find a market or niche and sell something you’re “passionate about.”

• Create an eBook or course and sell it for $37.

• Create a monthly course and sell it for $77 per month.

• Grow your email list and market that list.

• Voila, a sales funnel.

Today, many success experts love teaching “secret” Agora copywriting methods. In reality, it’s no secret. Agora’s method is widely available inside online marketing. We’ll come back to Agora in a moment.

Ok, you leave the event armed with funnel building, Agora copy secrets, mindset tips, and secrets to become a millionaire inside nine months. Now, let’s look at what it takes to be a success—a millionaire using that plan.

Bill tells us to shoot for $10 million and not one million. Let’s see how we do that using this common system sold at events.

You buy an account on the funnel building tool ClickFunnels. It costs $297 a month.³⁶ You create content. Creating the content is not as easy as it sounds. But you create a diet tips lifestyle thing. You make PowerPoint videos and ramble out advice. You heard the advice doesn’t matter as much; what people buy is you. You also heard that perfectionism kills businesses, and you remember that Bill quoted Steve Jobs. Wait? Wasn’t Jobs a perfectionist? Never mind. You “man up” and create content.

You then create a sales letter. You use the unbeatable copy secrets Bill taught. You write a video sales letter. You follow the secret Agora formula. Bill said “Agora, the billion and a half dollar company” countless times while teaching you the secrets. Bill said it so often, like many gurus do, that if you drank a shot each time he said it, you’d be piss drunk in 20 minutes and after 30 minutes would require a stomach pumping.

Agora?

Agora is a massive direct marketing publishing agency in Baltimore. Agora is a marketing behemoth, but they basically sell cheap products to old people who are scared of dying. They gross, as you by now guessed, over a billion dollars annually. Many success coaches love teaching the “Agora Copy Formula.”

Agora employs dozens of junior copywriters who write copy all day, every day. And a number of copywriters are assigned to specific projects. Now, Agora hires the writers using the same methods as cold-calling centers or an auto dealership needing bodies for a big sale. The process: place ads everywhere and say “yes” to everyone who shows up. Give those people a formula to follow and throw them to the wolves.³⁷ After a few days and after hiring 20 people, one or two will stick around. Repeat the cycle.

Agora then teaches their copy formula while indoctrinating the writers with the Agora culture. The culture message: vast wealth, success, and entrepreneurial spirit.

Those writers then sit in one of the Agora office’s, often at the headquarters located in Baltimore, Maryland, and hammer out copy. Some writers are remote but still contracted by Agora. Each writer follows the Agora formula:

• Ridiculous Hook—like “Klebsi Plague Kills Republicans!”

• Crazy story—like the one I showed earlier.

• Conspiracy claims.

• More conspiracy claims—usually “The End of America” or “Death” or “Obama Spies Inside the Trump Team.”

No, sadly, I’m not making this up. A famous Agora copywriter at the Ryan Deiss War Room Mastermind brags of how he scares old Republicans into buying stuff.³⁸ He uses headlines like:

• “Crazy solution government or industry doesn’t want you to know.”

• “Buy crazy solution government or industry doesn’t want you to know.”

“Solution” is usually just a cheap monthly newsletter that often sells more Agora products.

Junior writers, like monkeys, furiously write all day following that formula. A top writer oversees what they write, often providing direction and occasionally writing the offers. That offer is also vetted constantly by other copy chiefs and Agora marketing experts.

After the team of people create the offer, it’s sent to design. Each Agora letter generally costs around $15,000—$40,000 in production. All the colors, the voice over talent, etc.—everything is geared to sell.

Then Agora tests that offer.

Bill left something out.

Here’s something Bill kept secret or just doesn’t realize. Agora, undoubtedly, is the undisputed copy king. But that copy, that massive profit cranking sales letter, was written by a large team. A team of pros with a few all-stars in the mix. By all-stars, I mean guys with over twenty years of experience and countless hit offers under their direction. Behind each offer stands a successful professional baseball team-like staff: analytics, star players, and solid farm system.

Here’s why I’m saying all of this.

Agora’s batting average for offers that either break even or make money is likely around 0.089 for every ten “at bats.” And those offers require many tweaks to become a hit. Furthermore, each offer tested uses millions of dollars of an ad budget. Agora quickly knows if an offer works or doesn’t. When it doesn’t, the team goes back to the board and tweaks the flopped offer. If the flopped offer doesn’t go anywhere after maybe twenty versions, Agora scraps both product and idea and starts all over.

But you followed the formula. You followed the secret formula used by Agora that produces a billion dollars in gross sales. A formula that Google and Facebook permanently banned. A formula that the Federal Trade Commission is eyeing closely. A copy formula requiring a team of writers, marketing experts, and an entire high-powered legal team prepped to defend free speech rights. Oh, and the formula mainly targets conservative men over the age of 68. Sound like a reasonable marketing plan?

Still, you followed through. You dominated your path; you overcame the toxic mindset. You learned “don’t shoot for one million, shoot for $10 million!”

Reality throws more obstacles your way.

The payment processor—the cart—you picked on ClickFunnels says “no.” Also, your “free plus shipping” offer is not approved by MasterCard since MasterCard deemed those offers untrustworthy. Why? The payment processor you used—like Stripe of PayPal—studied your offer. Because the offer doesn’t tick any boxes that deem it “showing value” and since it looks fishy because of the sales letter, they passed. You then bounce around seeking a cart and payment processor that will say “yes.”

ClickBank says “yes” to almost anything. You get on ClickBank.³⁹

You edit your sales letter to get compliant. Compliancy, being compliant, is a loose term. ClickBank, I believe, is well intentioned with their compliancy department. They employ a team who researches the offers, and they try to make those offers real. But top businesses on ClickBank can bend their ClickBank rep to push the offer right pass compliancy. And since ClickBank manages thousands of offers, they can’t dissect an ad.

For instance, one of the top-selling offers on ClickBank was an offer called Fat Diminisher by Wesley Virgin.⁴⁰ In it, Wesley narrates how a soldier, Marine Gunnery Sergeant Kyle Cooper discovered an incredible fat melting secret. This offer generated tens of millions of dollars. But let’s look at the compliance. Wesley states he was in the military, and if I recall, in one version of the sales letter, Wesley befriends Sergeant Cooper.

But Sergeant Cooper isn’t real. Let’s dissect the name. Actor Bradley Cooper, in the acclaimed movie, American Sniper, played United States hero and the most famous United States sniper in history, Chris Kyle. Wesley used that fact and created “Kyle Cooper.” Yes, it’s that on the nose, Bradley Cooper + Chris Kyle = Kyle Cooper. A simple reality ClickBank ignored. Wesley patronizes people even more by creating an actual picture of Kyle Cooper. He found a stock photo (here) and added hair. (See updated here). Wesley further flaunts the rules and says Kyle Cooper teaches a class in a park. No one thought to check on this, and as you may guess, the class doesn’t exist. ClickBank missed all these simple facts, simple facts that maybe required less than five minutes to discover. I’ll leave it to your judgment regarding the fat loss claims veracity.

I admit, I created a dating offer around five years ago. I made up the name of the author and fabricated the story. ClickBank compliance checked the offer, a completely bullshit offer, and it passed. Everything in the offer was fabricated. The story—everything. And it became a successful dating offer. I’m not proud I did it. I can’t normalize my behavior and say, “That’s how everyone was doing it.” What I did was wrong, idiotic, and fraudulent. But here’s the thing: other ClickBank vendors helped get my offer approved, and they knew my offer’s backstory. Why? For one, they made good money with it before Stripe, rightfully so, outlawed my offer.

Now, you’re on ClickBank. They approve your offer without checking your research regarding diet.

Next, you create email campaigns.

Crap.

The copy, the email IPs, mark it “spam-like.” Your offer doesn’t tick any box confirming that you, your company, your product, and your message aligns with the way that most people use the internet. Meaning, people don’t open the email, head to your YouTube channel, go to your eCommerce site, order your products, listen to your podcast, read your blog, or pre-order your book on Amazon.

Now, you could have worked on your blog, built a widget, or created a Vlog. That path is called Do It Yourself—DIY. This model builds off a long runway. A runway melding your experience and developing it through various channels. You likely didn’t hear about this model, and Bill likely has no idea it exists. And the DIY model isn’t advertised via countless adjectives—richer, smarter, faster!

Bill possibly showed hacks for those platforms, like Instagram. A popular product gurus sell are Instagram stories. But Google got hip to the hacks. As in, they know you didn’t build followings organically. You’re not like, say, Mark Manson. Mark spent ten years blogging and writing articles. Mark offered courses but never affiliate marketed. He wrote a real book which became a best-seller. Mark works with a real publishing agency, not a pure marketing agency. Mark’s book doesn’t offer “free bonus content!” or blatant sales tricks on the cover. The same goes for someone like James Clear, Ramit Sethi, or creator of You Need a Budget, Jesse Mecham. These are experts Google knows offer actual value. It’s not to say you can’t offer good value, but Bill’s methods, like all guru’s methods, drown substance.

Email IPs change their “check boxes” constantly. Why? The model that success gurus use often causes complaints. And Google and email IPs know that the products gurus sell and the methods they use provides little value and often uses barely ethical tactics. Basically, the model is just selling and selling and selling and selling.

I digress.

After begging and pleading, an email host allows you on.

Finally, you put the site up and go live.

It’s done. Time to kick back and watch the money pour in, right? Soon you’ll be living on an island surrounded by babes or hunky dudes.

Nope.

Nothing.

Ok, now what?

Find your market? At least, that’s the advice.

Ah, some affiliates or places to send it. Or some media buying, right?

People say, “Get good at cold traffic.” I’m sorry, but top people hire a full time media-buying expert. Media buying and cold traffic require years of experience. What is media buying? Basically, online traffic brokers deal in cold traffic. These people buy online advertising spots and big email drops like those ads you see at the bottom of a newspaper article—a media buyer purchased that slot.

Media buyers like good ads because if an ad makes money, they will cut a deal with the marketer, and run ads to that site. Media buying entails cutthroat negotiation. And a good media buyer needs to understand your business model; they don’t concern themselves with the conversion numbers the guru teaches at marketing events.

Different offers, different traffic sources, and different day one-dollar mechanisms mean different ad spends. Media buying takes time and hard knocks to get average at it. Newbies, or the eager entrepreneur like Bill, almost always get slaughtered when trying to attempt media buying. They get slaughtered because they deal with a real business, and media buying costs big bucks. Also big media buyers rarely ever teach what they do. Most are constantly tracking numbers behind the scenes.

Without any solid cold traffic connections, you need to commit at least $10,000 or more a month to buying ads. And if you don’t know terms like “above the fold,” “below the fold,” or “impressions,” you’ll get stuffed into some odd page. Meaning, no one sees your offer. Also, a new ad requires at least $10,000 in spending to see if it will work. Similarly, you have to be ok with that $10,000 being just a test, because often that $10,000 will completely vanish. Albeit, you may make one or two sales, and that isn’t because your offer stinks, you might just not yet know what traffic source may work for your ad; and after a few tests and big spends you may see that your offer flops—a common occurrence.

What you didn’t learn is that writing for affiliate offers versus writing for cold traffic is like playing two different sports. Sure, some crossover, but the approach and what works on either is different. You show up in basketball gear and get tossed onto the ice against the Boston Bruins.

But, you’re not told that. You’ll have no idea about returns, demographically tailoring various conversions, or even who to talk to.

To be blunt, trying media buying for the first time is like walking into Harvard’s Math 55 class. Arguably, it is the most difficult math class in the world. You walk in all hyped up from motivation, but you barely grasp basic addition and subtraction. Only with media buying, you’re playing with real dollars and savvy negotiators. And you need to know your business model, the numbers, and how you earn backend income inside and out.

Oh, and since you’re a first timer, you’ll get hit up for $20,000. A $20,000 burned if you’re not sure how to negotiate where and how the ad should run. Also, if the offer didn’t work, good luck trying the next time. Some people teach the media buying secrets taught at events. But, like I mentioned, most top media buyers aren’t teaching. They are too busy running ads for their clients, and some have non-disclosures.

The media buying courses, like how to make money with Facebook ads, are often wild-eyed dreams. In my experience, not one top media buyer ever created a course. Most success gurus got into teaching success because they flopped media buying. Also, their previous offers in their previous niches were tanking. Successful people don’t teach success; they’re too busy with their business.

Ok, so now what do you do?

You turn to affiliate marketing. The shortest short-term business model ever invented.

You reach out to a few people you met at the event. And I’m stretching here because event connections rarely pan out. But let’s say you met a few people and stayed in touch.

Out of the 25 attending, only one other guy got as far as you did. Everyone else got confused and overwhelmed. But that one guy—he’s pumped to mail your offer to his list of three people. He sends your offer to his list of three.

Here’s how the offer goes: one person buys, his mom thinks you two should be friends, and the other person unsubscribes. Hey! A 33% conversion rate and a $9.00 earning per click—amazeballs! Right? You email some people on ClickBank. No one knows you. Most never get back. Some ask you for your conversion numbers. You say 33%. They then ask how big the list was, and you reply. They don’t.

A few kinder people test it. They send your offer to a list of old customers, customers 30 days or older, meaning, burnt leads. Yes again, customers 30 days young on an affiliate list are already done and gone. Your offer, like any offer sent to a burnt list, safeguards you from making money.

Here are a few needs – needs for the plan you were sold at the success event, those surefire steps to creating a hit offer — you were not told at the success event. You’ll need:

• At least $200,000 on hand for media buying.

• A damn good media buyer.

• At least one analytics person.

• A fresh customer email list size of at least 80,000 people. By fresh, I mean when following this model, all customers on an email list are worthless after day 30. Like I said, gone and vanished. Most affiliate marketers scrub—get rid of—people 30 days or older. What matters, are customers 14 days or younger (to top guys, 7 days or younger). Many email marketers scrub people after 14 days.

• A well-functioning tech team, Google Analytics team, and the ability to pay for slick production.

• $15,000–$30,000 cash on hand for a sales letter production cost. They say you can do it on the cheap. Yes. They started out from the cheap. But their first top performing sales letter came after years of multiple attempts, money trickling, and spending to get it right. Sure, you can get lucky—but that luck depends on knowing how to write incredible copy. A skill that takes years.

• CPA model versus commission.

• Email drops.

• A monthly media buying plan.

• -To know that a successful $30 product requires at least $15,000 in testing.

• To know how to dissect the stats of a slow performing sales letter and where to test it.

If none of that makes sense, or if you’re unaware how difficult it is to reach that level—how many years it takes and even the sheer luck involved—the plan won’t hold up. But that’s the plan you were given. In fact, likely the person, the guru or expert who sold you that plan, they couldn’t even do it. They sell you the plan they dream about, but have never quite, and possibly never will, attain.

For instance, guru Jason Capital sells success, and he sells a surefire copywriting course that promises to turn you into a money printing machine. He says, “I am a true Copy Badass, the kind of marketer who can make millions literally on command. The skill of copywriting gave me that power. I can do it for you too.” This he says in his Copy Badass Masterclass.⁴¹ But I looked up the offer on ClickBank. The offer looks to be a complete flop.

See the “Grav.” That means gravity. That number shows the relative measure of how many affiliates have successfully promoted that product.⁴² A higher number means higher conversions. For instance, the top offer right now, Cinderella Solution, commands a 382.16 gravity rating.⁴³

The Initial Sale means the average dollar amount from a single sale that affiliates earn when they send to that offer. As in, if the affiliate knows they will send 1,000 people the sales page and 100 people will likely convert, they can do a rough estimate of how much they will earn. Jason has earned zero; affiliates have earned zero from this offer.

Granted, this offer may be on another platform like Software Projects, but generally, offers that perform well elsewhere in similar affiliate platforms perform well on ClickBank. Jason proffers surefire secrets, but despite his claims, this surefire ad hasn’t generated any significant revenue. In fact, it hasn’t registered any income. The offer failed. And Jason uses—and teaches—the same secrets you used with your offer.

Did you fail?

No. You succeeded in one way; most people barely make it to where you did. But here’s a kick in the face—it would have been wiser to look elsewhere.

Here’s why.

You are currently where Bill started twelve years ago. But you paid—including the event—easily $10,000 or more than when Bill started. Bill sold you a business model enslaved by hit ads and needing affiliates. A model currently dwindling in profits. A model where Bill wasn’t so successful either.

Bill’s current success relies on selling from the stage. He panders to people’s insecurities about being a “top performer,” and he gets them to join his mastermind. Eventually, Bill will tire, and move into “high-end consulting.” He’ll make ok money, but he’ll never make the same kind of money as a successful author or someone employed by Goldman Sachs, Google, or even Tony Robbins.

You can make it. You can make money. It’ll take a while. You need to get passable at copy, which will take time. You need to get copy to a point where it converts a bit. But if you follow Bill’s path, you trap yourself inside a business model that’s like trying to repeatedly earn income from scratch lottery tickets.

Don’t believe it?

If you go to ClickBank and look at the first page of the Affiliate Marketplace, it displays some offers producing seven figures of gross. Most of those businesses currently live high on the hog. But in five years, 97% of those businesses will be out of business or barely hanging on. If they hang on, the income will be at a fraction. By a fraction, maybe a few hundred bucks trickling in each month. Only one offer in the last seven years has stayed on the front page: Ted’s Woodworking. There is no Ted. Ted’s Woodworking is a Russian media buying company who understands how to target conservative American men. They update the offer constantly.

Whereas other top offers will stay on the front page for two years at best. And that’s rare. For an offer to stay on top like that, it requires media buying and making a bunch of deals with media buyers. I’ve been behind four top offers on all of ClickBank—each grossing seven to eight figures.

And the companies?

One guy went from living in a penthouse at the Ritz Carlton to currently living in his younger sister’s basement outside of Flint, Michigan. Another guy, after making a few million a year, moved back into his parent’s house—a doublewide in Florida.

I also worked with a talented yet personally abusive marketer. We created one of the biggest offers ever on ClickBank. We also created perhaps the top selling internet yoga program. After the ads tired—I left him because of the way he verbally abused people around him in fits of rage—it took nearly two years of benign offers to crack the top page again. (As of this writing, that offer already fell off the top page.) And this guy is one of the best direct marketers on the planet. He’s a grand slam hitter. His new ad may pull in eight figures like the old one, but it too, will tire. And after another few years the cycle will start again. Oh and that person comes from one of the wealthiest families in Canada—meaning he can handle the down cycles. He possesses enough cash to thrive on cold traffic. He possesses enough wealth to kick back and stop what he’s doing.

Why do those businesses flop? The products are utter shit. On a rare chance the product is good, no one notices because they get hammered with sleaze ball marketing or sleaze ball affiliate marketing. Either way, shit product or not, the product can’t carry the weight. The business depends entirely on ads and the email marketing.

How do people go broke so fast?

When you start spending millions of dollars on media and the ad tires, your personal account dries up fast. Then, when you think you can create another hit offer and you don’t hit it or have Agora like funds, you go back to being a hundredaire in just weeks. Similarly, in my experience, these businesses lack a basic economic and financial model and basic and viable business fundamentals. For instance, few, if any, have a basic Income and Expense Report. I bet if you asked many online gurus what that basic report is, they’d look at you like you have five heads and speak Latin—I know because I asked that question, and I got that look. But you will hear a common answer delivered with conviction and a straight face, “That’s 9–5 corporate stuff; we expect to be a ten or eleven figure company by next year.”

What’s more? Of the bigger companies who used this model with some success, 90% will be out of business inside of seven years. Why? They don’t have the products; they just market ideas, cheap supplements, and they basically sell smoke and mirrors. Eventually, they dwindle and die.

Success gurus are smart in one way—they get out of their dying business and sell success. Yet they too will be changing that model into a consultant model that follows the same blueprint. The model sells self-exceptionalism and how to fuel self-exceptionalism. The model builds from insecurities about being recognized, seen, and respected. It then teaches you how to build an empire by pandering to insecurities about not being recognized, seen, and respected. As far as the business economics, yes, fast riches are possible, but maintaining those riches is less possible. The model burdens you with affiliates and hit ads. A model where you become the person spamming an inbox.

Does this model seem like a smart bet for your future?

1. https://paleofuture.gizmodo.com/the-untold-story-of-napoleon-hill-the-greatest-self-he-1789385645 ↩

2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_Hill#Controversies ↩

3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Vincent_Peale#Criticism_and_controversy ↩

4. https://microconf.com/videos ↩

5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam ↩

6. https://trafficandconversionsummit.com/↩

7. https://swiped.co/file/annihilation-launch-letter/ ↩

8. http://masscontrolsite.com/indexLIVE.html ↩

9. https://internetmarketingparty.com/

10. https://funnelhackinglive.com/fhl-2020-live ↩

11. https://scribewriting.com/

12. Robert Mckee and Thomas Gerace, Storynomics (Hachette Book Group, 2018),

15. http://howtojumphigherpro.com/the-truth-about-quickness-2-0-review ↩

16. https://bedroskeuilian.com/empire/ ↩

17. https://www.instagram.com/realcraigballantyne/ ↩

18. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sapient-nature/201506/why-pursuit-superiority-lowers-happiness-and-success ↩

19. Epictetus, translated by A.A. Long, How To Be Free (Princeton University Press, 2018). ↩

20. Emrys Westacott, The Wisdom of Frugality: Why Less Is More – More or Less (Princeton University Press, 2016), 222. ↩

21. A.C. Grayling, The Choice of Hercules: Pleasure, Duty and the Good Life in the 21st Century (Weidenfield & Nicholson, 2007). ↩

22. https://www.inc.com/profile/fit-body-boot-camp ↩

23. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_Top_Creamery ↩

24. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Sacca ↩

25. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Thiel ↩

26. https://medium.com/conversations-with-tyler ↩

27. Alain de Botton, Status Anxiety (Penguin Books, 2015), 197. ↩

28. Steven Pinker, How The Mind Works (W.W. Norton & Company Ltd, 2009). ↩

29. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivorship_bias#In_highly_competitive_careers ↩

30. Epictetus, translated by A.A. Long, How To Be Free (Princeton University Press, 2018 ↩

31. https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-to-use-the-operator-mindset-to-eradicate-your-b-s-beliefs-and-transform-your-identity/ ↩

32. Ryder Carrol, The Bullet Journal Method (Penguin, 2018). ↩

33. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (The Modern Library, Translated by Gregory Hays 2002), 6.51. ↩

34. https://hbr.org/2019/09/dont-let-metrics-undermine-your-business ↩

35. https://www.clickfunnels.com/ ↩

36. https://talent-14west.icims.com/jobs/2725/junior-copywriter/job ↩

37. https://www.warroommastermind.com/about/ (This was mentioned to me by a top Agora Copywriter who wished to remain unnamed.) ↩

38. https://support.clickbank.com/hc/en-us/articles/220199588-Product-Guidelines ↩

39. http://fatdiminisher.com/↩

40. http://www.copybadass.com/fe/ ↩

41. https://support.ClickBank.com/hc/en-us/articles/220365847#stats ↩

42. https://accounts.ClickBank.com/mkplSearchResult.htm?dores=true&includeKeywords= ↩