Recommends: The Lives of the Caesars, Suetonius (Tom Holland Translation)

Disturbing Realities of the Roman Empire Many Want to Ignore

The Roman Empire is romanticized through a modern Judeo-Christian Western lens. It’s seen as a time of noble senators, a culture akin to the Victorian era, and a warrior code instilling men with a profound sense of patriotic duty to defend Rome against foreign invaders and tyrannical emperors. In that fight against tyranny, we envision Ridley Scott’s, Gladiator, where a family man vows vengeance on a tyrannical emperor and hopes to return Rome to the people by turning it over to the experts because Rome was an idea once. And it’s fall? Well, it’s simple: insert a modern gripe like inflation, Christians, Onlyfans, bikinis,¹ and that modern gripe caused the fall.

The Roman Mosaic known as “Bikini Girls” dated from the 4th century Rome. Note, women wearing bikinis then was rare, almost always at a private event held for women’s games.

That romanticized lens conflates Hellenistic politics and culture, Hollywood comic book depictions of Rome, and blissful historical ignorance.

The reality of the Roman Empire was much different. America’s Founding Father’s studied the Roman Empire exhaustively. They did see the beneficial elements of that once mighty empire, such as the concept of the Senate, certain concepts of Roman law, and its infrastructure. But the Roman Empire, to the Founders, was largely a study in what not to do. The Roman Empire is a study in human nature, and a sobering account of human nature run amok.

The Lives of the Caesars by Suetonius, was written during the reign of Hadrian. Suetonius wrote twelve biographical vignettes starting with Julius Caesar and going chronologically up to Domitian. He gave posterity a window into Roman times and its disturbing revelations on human nature, and why the Roman Empire was doomed to fail from the moment it started.

Background Suetonius

We’re lucky to have this work by Suetonius, just like we’re lucky to have The Satyricon by Petronius. The latter was executed by Nero for his satire of Roman life. Christian monks, shockingly, saved Petronius’s work despite Satyricon’s pornographic nature, recognizing its wisdom and lessons for posterity. Suetonius, however, was not executed but got banned for sleeping with Hadrian’s wife. Despite the affair, Hadrian admired Lives of the Caesars and that admiration saved the work from being lost to history.

Suetonius was regarded early on in his life as a scholar. His drive for history, and rigorous history, stood out so much that Hadrian placed Suetonius into his innermost circle. And Hadrian wanted Suetonius to do what he did best: history.

Suetonius took up the task of wanting to write biographies of the Caesars. Yet what made Suetonius distinct is that, one, he wanted to not slant the biographies to favor Hadrian. And two, he wanted to focus on the character of each emperor — their dispositional makeup — rather than the then-typical achievements and victories.

The time Suetonius wrote was precarious. As we learned with Petronius, who was Nero’s cultural advisor Satyricon got Petronius executed.² It was common for historians, play writes, and cultural advisors to face execution. Whether it was the work not being slanted enough in one way, overly obsequious, or perhaps hitting too close to home, at the emperor’s whim the creator could get executed. Execution in those days also meant, likely, that friends, family, and associates of that person would also face execution or, if shown some mercy, banishments and impoverishment. And execution was not swift in those days; it almost always included abhorrent forms of torture.

Yet Suetonius was given free rein. He had access to firsthand accounts since lost to history, eyewitness accounts, and his own firsthand accounts. He also dissected the blatant partisanship to try to extract truth, or simply discard if too fabulist. For instance, some sides, in a want of a coup, would demonize an emperor to the point of absurdity, whereas, the other side would praise the emperor to the point of absurdity. He ignored that noise and offered us a window closer to the truth or at least, if not fact, we brush against truth and reality of the times.

The focus on character, on the disposition of each Caesar, gives us the glimpse into Roman culture and politics. Each Caesar is a product of their culture. His political style and actions were forged in the political culture of Rome. And with perspective, like the Founding Fathers, we extract truths of human nature from The Lives of the Caesars, and how a world void of Judeo-Christian values yet full of secular decadence can slide into depravity, degeneracy, and tyranny.

While Suetonius wrote twelve biographical vignettes, he focuses primarily on:

• Julius Caesar

• Augustus

• Tiberius

• Gaius (Caligula)

• Claudius

• Nero

Each of them gets the longer vignettes. Augustus gets the longest vignette. It’s arguable that Suetonius focuses mainly on Augustus, Tiberius, and Nero.

The content of each vignette, especially when it gets into Tiberius, is graphic, in fact, it’s disturbing. And translator Tom Holland is not shy about using the crude language that previous translators watered down.

Some of what Suetonius covers, or claims, is debated as to whether it was rumor. Rumor or not, as Holland tells us, given that Suetonius was free to do what he wanted, and his desire for truth, we get honest looks of Roman culture, and close enough to the lives of the Caesars. And if you’ve read works like The Satyricon or Edward Gibbon’s History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, then it seems likely that while Suetonius might tell of a salacious rumor, the abhorrent act detailed in the pages probably occurred somewhere.

Why Read It

The cultural life of Rome had moral norms that are nearly unimaginable to us today. The human condition is the same, but we see the human condition play out in a vastly different dynamic. The Roman Empire was a product of warlords, and while it copied elements of Greek virtue, an ethical regression happened. Or perhaps, an ethical and moral norm never took root. Affluence and decadence seem to have fueled behavior that led to an obsession with sex. And that sexual obsession, as it often does, bred a boredom with it, which led to a jadedness, thus opening the door to depraved degeneracy.

Upstream from culture are political norms. And the emperors were above the law. They had no law. Their character, their disposition, their whims, were the constitution of Rome. They had little to no checks and balances. As one reads Augustus, Suetonius seduces us with how he ruled. It sounds great, like taking action, that he’s bringing solutions. But then reality hits. Augustus gets paranoid of someone taking notes, and out of that paranoia gouges the man’s eyeballs out with his thumbs. Then we see that he sleeps with his colleagues’ wives to get information on their husbands. And the marriage norms of the elite — divorce, remarriage, where kids get sent to, who gets remarried — are manic, and near impossible to follow. The reader may grant some forgiveness to the emperors, saying it was the time, but look at what they got done! But reality hits when we read of Tiberius, Nero, and Caligula. Then the jarring political oscillation between emperors becomes apparent. And within that oscillation are immense corruptions. On top of the corruptions, wild whims such as a dream an emperor had could alter massive policy decisions, like whether to invade a country. Executions were rife. And how emperors executed people at a whim was abhorrent, from sawing men in half to having a senator perform fellatio on the emperor and, once finished, having that senator beheaded right there on the spot. That kind of behavior was a feature of the empire. That doesn’t even touch upon how the lower classes were subsidized and dependent on the emperor, and that emperor was dependent upon pure economic exploitation of the countries Rome invaded. It all created an enormous bloat that was doomed to fail.

The Lives of the Caesars is a sobering account of the Roman Empire. Some claim that much of the depravity depicted during that time is overblown. Even if that is the case, one can’t get around how in Suetonius the behavior is constant. And if one reads The Satyricon, we see the same depravity, excess, and affluence depicted by Suetonius. The same goes for other firsthand accounts like Tacitus and Livy.

We read this work as a warning. Comparisons to the Roman Empire are difficult. Our culture is vastly different, yet our human condition is the same. We’ll never escape our condition. Since escape is impossible, history does not repeat but it does rhyme. And we have our rhymes today: an increasing obsession with sex, garishness becoming the norm, an elite wealthy class subsidizing the poor, punishing the wealthy, a harder time to rise up in classes, a denigration of family, and excess. Suetonius gives us a look into what can happen when human nature runs amok. We read Suetonius to gain an understanding, perhaps an appreciation, for the importance of Judeo-Christian values.

Approaching It

I read the Tom Holland translation. Tom Holland is a revered historical writer. His book Dominion is a best seller many times over, his translation of The Histories by Herodotus is widely acclaimed, and he runs the popular podcast The Rest is History.

His translation is superb. He makes it accessible yet he sticks to the meaning. He could have easily watered down the crude and disturbing parts, yet he does not. He delivers an honest translation.

It is readable. But keep in mind, Suetonius wrote for a small audience. He did not write for a mass audience like ours today. Only a small amount of people were literate. You will not get background, context, or other modern features to catch the reader up. Certain information was known to its audience then. Which means, at first, the names mentioned feels overwhelming. And trying to get more background can feel overwhelming.

But Holland lays out great guidance in the introduction. That guidance: Suetonius focused on the character of each emperor. That we need to get over our fretting about remembering dates, events, and names, and focus on the bigger picture of character elements.

The book is readable, but if you’re used to lesson culture reading — that you need to be a cynical reader, extracting insight and lessons from everything you read — you’ll struggle with this book. Once you arrive at Tiberius, it will put you in a conundrum. Your distaste and disgust at the then world’s most powerful man will make you question what kind of “lessons” you should be extracting.

You need to go in with Holland’s guidance, focusing on the bigger picture. You don’t need to remember every name and date. That’s not important. Instead, approach it with questions about Roman culture and curiosity about its political style.

If you’ve never read a firsthand Roman Empire account, you might want a modern primer.

I recommend:

• Ten Caesars: Roman Emperors from Augustus to Constantine, Barry Strauss

• The War that Made the Roman Empire: Antony, Cleopatra, and Octavian at Actium, Barry Strauss

• Escape from Rome: The Failure of Empire and the Road to Prosperity, Walter Scheidel

A note on Scheidel, it’s more academic, but it will deliver the greatest meta view analysis of the fall of Rome.

Swim Upstreams

My swim upstream³ recommendation: Choose either of the Barry Strauss books, then read Suetonius right after. This will help you grasp themes, elements, and offer some understanding.

If you want to go more advanced, try this and in this order:

1. Read either of the Strauss books

2. Lives of the Caesars, Suetonius (Tom Holland Translation)

3. The Satyricon, Petronius (the Penguin Classics translation by J.P. Sullivan)

4. Escape from Rome: The Failure of Empire and the Road to Prosperity, Walter Scheidel

If you read those four books, you will have enormous wisdom, insight, and understanding of the Roman Empire.

Book Club

Lives of The Caesars was chosen for the test launch of my book club. If you’d like to read it, and want to ask me questions, then upgrade to a paid subscriber, find the thread in the chat, and ask away.

1. https://x.com/esjay100/status/1986133369285972306

2. FOOTNOTE (a position held by those who had a pulse on Roman culture),

3. Swim upstream is a concept from Alan Jacobs. It is, simply, to grasp or understand a more classic work, you swim upstream to it from a modern work. You can do this from your favorite author, or to dive into a famous philosophical work. The modern work helps familiarize you with concepts to help you better understand the classic work.